New here

Old 06-08-2010, 12:26 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Toronto
Posts: 20
New here

Hi,

I am new here and thougth I would just introduce myself. I joined this forum yesterday.

I am married for almost 8 years and have a 4 year old son. I work full time in a hospital. My husband owns his own business.

I came here because over the years I have noticed that my husband's drinking has been increasing. He was always one to like his drinks, especially scotch and wine and would usually have drinks on weekends, at house parties or the cottage, on vacation etc. Sometimes he would have a drink at home on a Friday or Sat. night.

But over the years the drinking has slowly increased. It is now to the point where he has to have one or two drinks everyday and on days that he is off he will have anywhere from 4 to 7 or more drinks. A lot of those times he is at home and is visibly drunk (slurred speech, staggering, droopy eyes).

My son is at that age where he is starting to notice something. Just the other week, after dinner, my husband passed out on the couch from drinking. My son wanted to play with him but my husband was out cold. My son went back to playing. All of a sudden out of the blue my son got very aggitated with his toy truck and started to throw it and say "I don't like this truck anymore, throw it in the garbage". Then he took is stuffed dog that he loves and sleeps with and did the same thing. I knew that it was displaced anger over the fact that his father was always passing out.

When I think about that incident I feel sad for my son and wonder what is in store for the future with this problem of his father drinking. I wanted my son to have a healthy upbringing and not be a child of an alcoholic. They say that usually the drinker's alcohol problem escalates. I am just starting on this journey of living with an alcoholic but I don't know where it will take me and I fear for the future.
Puccibird is offline  
Old 06-08-2010, 12:35 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Climbing hills, flying down...
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: By the Sea
Posts: 565
Hi Puccibird,

Welcome to SR! You will find a lot of people here who can relate to what you're going through. I am the sister of an A (not in recovery), and when I first started posting on here, I felt just like you do--sad, confused, worried--I still feel that way sometimes, but this place has given me a lot of tools for living with an A without losing myself. It has helped me process my feelings and learn about this disease. It has helped me to make decisions.
Keep coming back and sharing your story. I also found the stickies up at the top of the forum useful.

Sending you good thoughts.
FarawayFromCars is offline  
Old 06-08-2010, 12:51 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
LaTeeDa's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: behind the viewfinder...
Posts: 6,278
Hi and welcome.

I just want to say that it is very perceptive of you to notice your son's anger and connect it to his dad's unavailability. Many parents would assume that one had nothing to do with the other, and pretend that their child was not affected by the alcoholism of a parent. I know because my mother pretended nothing was wrong in our house even though it was obvious to me from a very early age that something was terribly amiss.

So kudos to you for having your eyes wide open and not hiding in denial. It's very hard and very sad to realize that your life partner and father of your child(ren) is an alcoholic, but you are one step farther along than most of us were when we started this journey.

L
LaTeeDa is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:15 PM.