Blackrose56

I didn't disappear and not like what you'all said. I just was thinking about it and ran it by my therapist. He even thinks now is the time. I keep thinking it would be easier if I could hate him. But I don't. And my therapist tells me that I might always love him; but can still let go.

So, I have an assignment. I have medical conditions that keep me from doing some things. After work I literally pass out. And I have to keep my job. I heard the Tim McGraw song last week..."Live Like you were Dying" and that is what I plan to do. Not that I plan on going somewhere soon; however, I do have a heart condition and severe asthma and kidney problems. O.k. a lot brought on by stress.

This week I'm taking a giant step for me. From Thursday through Saturday I am going to have my 5 year old granddaughter with me.

And on the down side, I'm an animal lover and I have had two rats for the last two years and Saturday I had to have them put to sleep. And it was just one more thing to deal with.

Chino

When I was a child I knew that I didn't own anyone, never would. The only person I owned was myself. When I married, I knew I didn't own my husband and he didn't 'belong' to me. When my first was born, I knew I didn't own him and have never tried. He was my responsibility but he didn't 'belong' to me, like a possession. When my daughter was born, I felt the same way about all of that, until she became a teenager. I began to see her as a possession because I saw myself in her, in so many ways.

The act of letting go is sometimes a very painful exercise and always a reminder that no one ever belonged to us, except ourselves.

I wish you all the best in your journey.

Freedom1990

I think you've taken some important steps!

I am so very sorry to hear about your rats. When my youngest was still at home, we had pet rats for several years. We had 3 girls first time around, and 3 boys the second time around. I still think of them often, and it's a shame they have such short life spans. The boys were Larry, Moe, and Curly (double Rex).

:ghug3