cut me off
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 83
Good for you Dub! Hearing that you are having a tough time right now, helps me with my sobriety, in the sense that if I go out and pick up, it will only get worse. I hope you understand how important you are to the rest of us who are trying to stay sober. One day at a time friend.
Lithobid
Lithobid
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Good to see you, Dub.
You can recover but if you want different results this time, you need to do something different. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
There is help. You just have to ask for it.
You can recover but if you want different results this time, you need to do something different. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
There is help. You just have to ask for it.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379
Listen to all the above. Especially the one about never giving up.
I know what you mean about all the family bull..... Geez I truly do.
It would be so much easier just to give in, but I know the end result would be tragic and I need a clear mind to face all the bull......
Glad you are still here.
I know what you mean about all the family bull..... Geez I truly do.
It would be so much easier just to give in, but I know the end result would be tragic and I need a clear mind to face all the bull......
Glad you are still here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 224
Hi Dub,
I have not been on here in a month...maybe two...I don't really know. I was diagnosed with a health issue that is causing me distress and am I trying my best to figure out good ways to handle it. (It is not life threatening, but it is life changing and life challenging). I have missed some of the friends I have made here...and I have thought of them, and felt bad that I have been out of touch with them. But.....there is one person that I thought of the most in my absense from this forum.
And that person is YOU!
Dub, I just wanted to say that you are the one that popped into my head a few minutes ago. You are the person I wondered about from afar. And it is because of you that I just signed on here for the first time in a long time. And who's thread was at the top of the list in Newcomers? YOURS! I had sent a prayer out your way right before I came onto the site....for you to heal. And I then logged on...and there you were. Saying you were back and that you were not giving up.
I was very glad to see that.
Dub, I am tired and in pain, and lonely.... and sober. Thank the Lord for that last one because I don't think I could be making decisions about how to deal with my health right now if I weren't.
And at times I am downright exhausted.
Dub, I have absolutely no words of wisdom for you.
But for some reason or other....be it devine intervention, the power of the universe, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.... you came into my head. My concern this morning, outside of my own body, was for you.
I have a feeling that you are a very, very sensitive person; a very good man. And I pray that something leads you to your path of healing.
And that's all I've got for now.
I have not been on here in a month...maybe two...I don't really know. I was diagnosed with a health issue that is causing me distress and am I trying my best to figure out good ways to handle it. (It is not life threatening, but it is life changing and life challenging). I have missed some of the friends I have made here...and I have thought of them, and felt bad that I have been out of touch with them. But.....there is one person that I thought of the most in my absense from this forum.
And that person is YOU!
Dub, I just wanted to say that you are the one that popped into my head a few minutes ago. You are the person I wondered about from afar. And it is because of you that I just signed on here for the first time in a long time. And who's thread was at the top of the list in Newcomers? YOURS! I had sent a prayer out your way right before I came onto the site....for you to heal. And I then logged on...and there you were. Saying you were back and that you were not giving up.
I was very glad to see that.
Dub, I am tired and in pain, and lonely.... and sober. Thank the Lord for that last one because I don't think I could be making decisions about how to deal with my health right now if I weren't.
And at times I am downright exhausted.
Dub, I have absolutely no words of wisdom for you.
But for some reason or other....be it devine intervention, the power of the universe, or whatever the hell you wanna call it.... you came into my head. My concern this morning, outside of my own body, was for you.
I have a feeling that you are a very, very sensitive person; a very good man. And I pray that something leads you to your path of healing.
And that's all I've got for now.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Houndheart,
It's good to see that you faith is strong during these challenging times - and that you are sober.
Good health is not always possible but I wish you serenity in these times. Prayers are on their way to you too.
It's good to see that you faith is strong during these challenging times - and that you are sober.
Good health is not always possible but I wish you serenity in these times. Prayers are on their way to you too.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 33
I tire of bouncy people
-the I am gonna quit, but not today or i quit,but I drank one today, or a day later,but I will quit again tomorrow,just to fall off of the wagon a day later ..
why do I tire of these types?
because it affects my resolve,it triggers a reaction in me that makes me remember my use and my struggle to quit-I really struggled at first,it hurt,it was hard-so hard i never wanted to go through that type of hard again,so I needed to stay positive,to stay firm.. or I would go back and it would be even harder next time.. or just as hard and the beginning is the hardest,so to keep starting over, to keep failing,there is no growth,actually shrinkage and repitition,like drinking actually- and self destruction while disillusioning yourself that you might be serious in stopping when you in fact not ready yet..
imho the computer is your enemy
if you are to be sober-you need people pressure,positive support from faces you can intimately relate to - once you bond with a group or a person who supports you-it will be tougher to let yourself and them,and G-d down:day6
-the I am gonna quit, but not today or i quit,but I drank one today, or a day later,but I will quit again tomorrow,just to fall off of the wagon a day later ..
why do I tire of these types?
because it affects my resolve,it triggers a reaction in me that makes me remember my use and my struggle to quit-I really struggled at first,it hurt,it was hard-so hard i never wanted to go through that type of hard again,so I needed to stay positive,to stay firm.. or I would go back and it would be even harder next time.. or just as hard and the beginning is the hardest,so to keep starting over, to keep failing,there is no growth,actually shrinkage and repitition,like drinking actually- and self destruction while disillusioning yourself that you might be serious in stopping when you in fact not ready yet..
imho the computer is your enemy
if you are to be sober-you need people pressure,positive support from faces you can intimately relate to - once you bond with a group or a person who supports you-it will be tougher to let yourself and them,and G-d down:day6
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
I don't think there is anything negative about continuing to try. The fact someone is trying to get sober is something to be proud of. I am sure it is frustrating for many who have worked so hard to achieve sobriety to watch one try and try but the hope is that they will get it as those who are sober have gotten it. Not everyone can just toss the sauce and not relapse. It may take several trys to finally get into recovery.
You never give up and I know that SR is a blessing. The desire to become sober comes from within and I applaud your efforts Dub.
You keep going and take it one sober day at a time.
Just my thoughts.
You never give up and I know that SR is a blessing. The desire to become sober comes from within and I applaud your efforts Dub.
You keep going and take it one sober day at a time.
Just my thoughts.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,536
Well, I was one of the "bouncy" people. No one here gave up on me the first few months after I joined - and I made it out of hell due to their tolerance & understanding. I'm glad no one made me feel unworthy back then, or I might not have stuck around.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
The wonderful thing about SR is that the door swings both ways 
if people here tire you, if your resolve is affected, and the computer is your enemy, I humbly suggest you may not be in the right place.
If you want a soapbox - start a blog here, or at least a new thread.
For the rest of us, let's not get distracted here from the purpose of this thread.
Dub - I'm glad you're still trying and posting.
But I hope you're listening to the folks telling you you need more than intent - you need action, man. You need to do things differently. This thing doesn't fix itself.
D
if people here tire you, if your resolve is affected, and the computer is your enemy, I humbly suggest you may not be in the right place.
If you want a soapbox - start a blog here, or at least a new thread.
For the rest of us, let's not get distracted here from the purpose of this thread.
Dub - I'm glad you're still trying and posting.
But I hope you're listening to the folks telling you you need more than intent - you need action, man. You need to do things differently. This thing doesn't fix itself.
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Little Rock, Arkansas
Posts: 14
i'm not sure if headly is necessarily dumping on those who try then try again. maybe so but maybe headly is speaking to the idea that was raised in another strand about a sponsor wanting a person who had slipped to talk to the AA group about the slip and why. I think Headly was/is speaking to that some people who only depend on SR (which is an awesome place) yet keep having to start over- may, in fact, need that person to person experience that programs like AA offer. One may actually come on here and keep repeating the 'i slipped' because somewhere inside they want someone else to 'hold them to their commitment'- not holding them because they are a loved on of the Alc/addict- but simply hold them to what that person who slipped really wants. Just a thought. oh- I forgot to add- my main point-sorry- that sometimes when one speaks at a meeting about the repeated slip- it can be discussed among the person to person group- to help that individual or to help someone else in the group.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Lancashire, UK
Posts: 24
Hi Dub,
please keep trying, everyone truly involved in SR is fully behind your resolve to beat this demon.
Please ignore the two posts from people with superiority complexes. That they may have quit and never relapsed is totally irrelevant. The fact that they deign to speak in such a manner suggests that they still have "a long way to go" in general terms of compassion and interaction with society.
All the best Pete.
please keep trying, everyone truly involved in SR is fully behind your resolve to beat this demon.
Please ignore the two posts from people with superiority complexes. That they may have quit and never relapsed is totally irrelevant. The fact that they deign to speak in such a manner suggests that they still have "a long way to go" in general terms of compassion and interaction with society.
All the best Pete.
Don't resist, allow
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South East of England
Posts: 1,521
Hi Dub,
I wasn't posting here when I was drinking but if I had been, my posts would have been very similar to yours. It took me a long time and many, many attempts to finally get sober.
People like you here because you give a lot of yourself with your posts. You are a compassionate person who cares about others. There are many here who are so looking forward to the day you recover.
What finally stopped the cycle for me of quitting and then picking up the drink was that I finally realised that what I was doing was never, ever going to work.
That's when I had no option but to do something different......
Keep in touch, Dub
I wasn't posting here when I was drinking but if I had been, my posts would have been very similar to yours. It took me a long time and many, many attempts to finally get sober.
People like you here because you give a lot of yourself with your posts. You are a compassionate person who cares about others. There are many here who are so looking forward to the day you recover.
What finally stopped the cycle for me of quitting and then picking up the drink was that I finally realised that what I was doing was never, ever going to work.
That's when I had no option but to do something different......
Keep in touch, Dub
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 33
or what if a bouncy person begins to relate to that on/off as normal - a day on a day off - lots of internal cognitive dissonance - IF S/R people don't hold a mirror up to his behavior - he could tell his wife/family/friends-SR is working at recovery when that is total BS unless you really stop/quit
lots of family drama and interpersonal hell.. for real.. in his life,not just some post on some board
if SR isn't helping him find his way-if he is a poster,not a reader and learner-if this is his escape from a spouse or family or friends with tough love - then maybe he needs to man it up and go to a meeting - to face to face tell people he is slipping,slipping,slipping.. yet still considers himself trying to sober up
sober is pain when your life has been drinking - a man can tough out a day or a week easy- and some real hard time if he develops positive self talk and self discipline
to keep reaching out to someone,to tell them it is ok,keep trying.. time and time and time again creates a new dysfunction and keeps the enablers enabling bouncyness imho
..and yes I think the keyboard instead of meetings is working against his self image of responsibility to himself - if he thinks the keyboard is workin at sobriety,it aint imho
real work is done with a group,a counselor or white knuckle determination - I may not be using the most correct language but yeah, poop or get off the pot is close - more compassionate way may be.. you are fooling yourself if you are not putting REAL work into sobriety and you will hurt your mind if you play the on/off game -it will eventually cause you anxiety and possibly other mental issues
when you are ready - there will be a last day / a first day - there will be resolve
I am trying to help this guy understand he may be doing himself more harm bouncing than being an functional drinker who knows someday has to come,but it may not be today
I believe it was Socrates that said 'when a man knows what is in his best interest,he has but no choice but to follow that path' :ghug3
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3. KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM. Socrates asserted that the highest good for any human being is happiness. Whatever action a man chooses is motivated by his desire for happiness. Knowledge, virtue, and wisdom are all the same, since man chooses an action according to what he thinks will bring him the greatest happiness. Therefore the more a man knows, the greater his ability to reason out the correct choice and to choose those actions which truly bring happiness to him.
4. SELF-KNOWLEDGE. The highest knowledge is possessed by that individual who truly knows himself. This knowledge constitutes ultimate wisdom. It enables man to act in a virtuous manner at all times, because he knows what will bring him true happiness.
lots of family drama and interpersonal hell.. for real.. in his life,not just some post on some board
if SR isn't helping him find his way-if he is a poster,not a reader and learner-if this is his escape from a spouse or family or friends with tough love - then maybe he needs to man it up and go to a meeting - to face to face tell people he is slipping,slipping,slipping.. yet still considers himself trying to sober up
sober is pain when your life has been drinking - a man can tough out a day or a week easy- and some real hard time if he develops positive self talk and self discipline
to keep reaching out to someone,to tell them it is ok,keep trying.. time and time and time again creates a new dysfunction and keeps the enablers enabling bouncyness imho
..and yes I think the keyboard instead of meetings is working against his self image of responsibility to himself - if he thinks the keyboard is workin at sobriety,it aint imho
real work is done with a group,a counselor or white knuckle determination - I may not be using the most correct language but yeah, poop or get off the pot is close - more compassionate way may be.. you are fooling yourself if you are not putting REAL work into sobriety and you will hurt your mind if you play the on/off game -it will eventually cause you anxiety and possibly other mental issues
when you are ready - there will be a last day / a first day - there will be resolve
I am trying to help this guy understand he may be doing himself more harm bouncing than being an functional drinker who knows someday has to come,but it may not be today
I believe it was Socrates that said 'when a man knows what is in his best interest,he has but no choice but to follow that path' :ghug3
----------------------------
3. KNOWLEDGE AND WISDOM. Socrates asserted that the highest good for any human being is happiness. Whatever action a man chooses is motivated by his desire for happiness. Knowledge, virtue, and wisdom are all the same, since man chooses an action according to what he thinks will bring him the greatest happiness. Therefore the more a man knows, the greater his ability to reason out the correct choice and to choose those actions which truly bring happiness to him.
4. SELF-KNOWLEDGE. The highest knowledge is possessed by that individual who truly knows himself. This knowledge constitutes ultimate wisdom. It enables man to act in a virtuous manner at all times, because he knows what will bring him true happiness.
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