jamieP

Hi Everyone
Newbie here. This past summer I left work for 4 months with severe depression. My doctor started me on Celexa and we went about trying to find me a therapist. After some weeks/months of searching and waiting lists I began therapy this August.

While my therapist has never used any ACOA language, I have become familiar with ACOA stuff from this site and others on the net. I have ALL 13 characteristics and in fact was an only child in a house with a very violent alcoholic father who passed away 5 years ago.

Anyway, as my therapy has progressed over the last several weeks I have been getting more and more connected to my shame, guilt, fear and have begun to speak with my therapist about some of the events (abuse) of my childhood. As I began therapy I also returned to work.

Now, some weeks into my therapy I find myself feeling worse and worse. My emotions feel out of control and there are days I cannot stop crying and screaming. The shame, anger and panic now seem completely out of my control and I have the last two days been unable to work (my job is very public relations oriented and require my ability to communicate effectively with the public).

Has anyone else found the progression of therapy taking them to a similar uncontrollable emotional stage? Does it last long? What did you do about your work (did you take time away)? I fear I am distancing my colleagues and my boss with my uncontrollable emotions at work and now worry about losing my job.

Thanks for any suggestions.

jamieP

journeygal

Hi Jamie,

You probably weren't allowed to express any emotions when you were growing up, and now all the emotions that you've repressed over the years are finally coming out. It can be very overwhelming, and unfortunately you probably just need some time to work through them. They've been repressed long enough and now that the dam has broken, watch out!

After I'd been in therapy 6 months or so I started feeling a lot of anger toward my mom. I couldn't even talk to her and I was basically angry every day. Even when I wasn't screaming or yelling in anger, I was still mad. After a while, the anger started to subside. I basically had to let myself feel it and acknowledge that I was pissed at how she's treated me all of my life. And after a while, I got over it.

Do you work out? Exercise, like kickboxing, or something very strenuous would be a good way to let out all the anger and basically wear yourself out in the meantime! You may also want to ask your therapist for suggestions on how to deal with the emotions.

Sorry for the armchair shrink suggestions but I understand what you're going through. I'm glad you found us and I hope you keep coming back.

Hugs,
JG

JT

I have never been in therapy but my experience with Al Anon was that it got worse before it got better.

I am no expert but my heart says to work on today and get that straight before delving into yesterday. The only reason I am involved with this ACOA board is because today I feel safe to do so. I have worked on my current issues and am aware of thier roots. Now I feel safe to break out the shovel and look at those roots.

This is just me...the past is in the past. Our responsibilty is to live in the world today.

I good place for you to post about this is the PTSD board...MG is great!!

(((Hugs)))
JT