backtender

Me and my girlfriend broke up, the absolute love of my life. Can't look at another girl, think about another girl. No one can replace her. I'm a total wreck, and I can't stop drinking.

tkdan

Sorry to hear. You say no one can replace her, but it sounds like you are trying to replace her with something (drinking). I'm not judging you, I've been there too. Try to keep in mind that alcohol will not take away loneliness or heart-break, but will in fact make it worse. I can honestly say that I never solved one problem with drinking. The only change it made was take a bad situation and make it worse. Don't do this to yourself.

StevenD

I can imagine that's very painful. I have been there. But by drinking, I ruined any chances of repairing old relationships and ruled out the possibility of any future ones.

I've been using relationship issues as a reason to drink for years. And ended up very alone.....just me and my bottle.

Today I believe that if I continue to not drink, it will get better. I hope you can come to the same conclusion.

My heart goes out to you....stay strong and keep posting. You can do this!

loveon2legs

Hi and BIG HUGS... you are only hurting yourself by drinking....it may seem like an answer now, but really it's not...it will only make things worse for you hun....trust me on that one...I've been threw some break ups and drank myself silly and it didn't make it easier....try talking to some trusted friends...family members.....and do something healthy that YOU enjoy.....during a break up it's time to discover who we are..and to celebrate it.... I know you are hurting...but take it easy okay...... xo

Lazyboy

As they say " Time heals all wounds" this too shall pass.....Peace bro, Lazyboy

artsoul

Hi backtender - I'm so sorry to hear about your sadness. It's normal to want to turn to the bottle, but it's really the last thing you need to do right now. Like everyone else said, it will only make things worse by adding to your problems. Alcohol is a depressant after all.....

I wanted to share something that happened to me. I had a breakup right after getting sober years ago, and I remember wondering if I would be able to get through it. It was a whole different experience sitting there actually feeling my feelings. I noticed, though, that they were different than the despair and depression alcohol put me in. They were intense feelings, but it almost felt good to grieve. Without alcohol to complicate the matter, I got through it and came out the other side a stronger person.

The most awesome thing was that while I was crying and feeling all torn up, I realized that I was doing this because I had LOVED with all my heart. I had loved! I had let life touch me and though I got hurt, it was the kind of hurt that is meaningful, you know? It wasn't the self-centered, cut-off-from-everything, despairing suffering that alcohol brings.

I know it doesn't seem like life will ever be happy again, but it will come alot sooner if you don't drink over it. Please find the strength to put the drink down, and maybe talk to a doctor or someone who can help you get through this. Stay close to SR, too, OK? :ghug3

Dee74

backtender

I spent 18 months drinking and drugging to forget a girl...I never really forgot her, and I never really got over her until I stopped the nonsense...

I did lose 18 months of my life though - I can't remember that period even now, 20 years later. Thats not a nice thought.

Drinking never helps, and it never solves anything.

Allow yourself to grieve - it's natural - then pick up the pieces and move on, mate.
D

hendershot

Drink up. Let us know if it helps. It never did for me. As lazyboy pointed out, only time will change your heart. How long it takes is completely within your control. The pain is real but the suffering is optional.

spryte

Heartbreak is real and it's there until it lifts. Like others have said, time is what it takes. It does lift with time.

I've had my heart broken, and I drank and kept drinking. Before we broke up, my boyfriend was the alcoholic. After we broke up, I proved myself to be the problem drinker.

Hearts heal, but booze puts a firm and angry thumbprint on your life. Your hurt is real and it is ok. Please don't add to it by adding booze.

gardner

It is hard to see when you are in the thick of it but I do echo what the other posters have said...time heals these sorts of wounds. What will prolong the suffering is adding alcohol into the mix. It offers nothing, just flames the fires. Hope you can start tomorrow off fresh and always remember, you still have time to stop drinking today.

wichitaks

Sorry to hear that and I can totally relate. The problem though with drinking to numb the pain is that it worked against me by making me act out and become even more depressed. The girl who broke up with me even told me later on that if I would have stopped drinking after we broke up she would have gotten back together with me. I was just all consumed by the alcohol. We broke up in 2003 and I've drank to forget about her for 7 years. It hasnt been until now that ive gotten sober that instead of being torn up and depressed all the time I can appreciate the chance that sobriety is giving me to start a better life and ironically enough for the first time I am happy for my ex. The reason being because not only is her life way better without my alcoholic destructive self in it, my life is better because she had the courage to get rid of me and make me face my demons and today Im all the better for it, and Im happy.

I know this by no means will probably help at all but had I known that stopping my drinking way sooner than now I could of saved myself years of heartache I definitely would of stopped. Losing somebody so special is never easy and nothing anybody said to me at the time helped much if at all, but as previous posters have said the alcohol will and does make it way worse. I hope you can find the strength at this amazingly tough time to stop the drinking, speaking from experience it can make all the difference. Good luck to you my friend