dedubya

been down the road....many roads. to be honest, i have given my life at least the hours that comprise a life to making my family happy...which i know a persons life isnt the past or future- its now, the present. honestly, i cant stand all of this. which is weird. because i have things, all that i need by far. i am sick of all of the slackness of the family i live with- but i would die for them right now a hundred times - its not all of them... no support. so here i am.. seriously thinking about moving out and getting another place to live. Catch you later. maybe in a different place.
Dub

Dee74

The first weeks of sobriety are a roller coaster ride Dub - try not and make any rash decisions, mate

You always have support here.

D

Margareth

Yo Dub,

Take into account the fact that if you are not drinking at the moment your feelings may be exaggerated and malformed by the chemical imbalances in your body. That's number one.

Number two is; perhaps you really need to be alone and find support from other people going through the same **** you are going through.
Not because you don't get the support from the family you live with but because it is just really difficult for people who are not alcoholics to understand what you are going through and number

three: Perhaps you drinking has allowed for a lot of dysfunctionality to pass you by. You were after all not available to them because you were engaged with the "other" person in your life. That person being you in addiction.

So by all means be alone for awhile to sort yourself out but keep these issues in mind while you do.

Hope this helps

SomeoneSomwhere

Today alone I went from thinking
"I am so lucky to have a family that cares and is there for me"
to "Leave me the f*** alone I don't want your help"
to "My parents are really good parents for recognizing I had a problem and taking me to rehab"
to "F*** this s*** I don't want to go and you can't make me I'm an adult"
to "I'm so sorry for being such a b*** since I know you're trying to help...
to "Just let me make my own decisions you're just making things worse"

ETC ETC

I think you get the point. I'm on my first week too and if you're anything like me your mood are crazy. We love our families but we're angry and irritated and craving alcohol but knowing quitting is for the best...like everyone said though, this might be the withdrawal talking so don't do anything you'll regret later. Maybe just take a mini vacation?

dedubya

thanks Friends- you are all awesome.
but screw this, i am so pissed. going to sleep- probably not. but laying down for a while. i cant stand leechism. (trying to create a word while my brain is short circuiting)
dub

Bamboozle

Sleep sounds like a good idea...maybe read a book until you get tired enough?

Take it easy, dub.

artsoul

hi dub - good idea on the sleep. People say "sleep on it," and I think it's true.... Things always look a little more manageable in the morning somehow.
I'm a month into sobriety and I'm still pretty impatient (with myself, mostly, but it spills over). It's going to take some practice to deal with things sober again. You didn't drink over it, so that's the number one main deal!

notnormal

Dub,
I don't really know where you're at right now but all that comes to mind is "you can't pick your family"
and that has been so true for me.. I'm so lucky for the friends that I have.. the new ones too..
I hope all will be okay for you.
nn

Fandy

Kids....they suck the life right out of you.....

this too shall pass....keep your eye on the prize....

i wish you a good sleep.....

( I am awake at this hour because i have no air conditioning...i am melting)

Kmber2010

Hang in there Dub. Early sobriety fills us with all sorts of mixed emotions as our body and minds filter the haze we have been living in. I too went from drinking and living with people and things in my life that weren't good for me to wanted to ditch every single one of them to not knowing what the heck I was feeling.

Posting here is a positive way to get it out and I know that I spent and still do spend quite a bit alone. Not alienating anyone but reevaluating relationships with family and friends. I didn't make any rash decisions at first but rather took some time and instead slowly started removing the negatives out of my life.

Keep in mind that this time for you is also an adjustment too for your family and those around you. I know my husband is having to adjust to the sober me and finding his place.

Keep strong friend. It does get better and you will feel emotionally better to make the right decisions in time.

Go rest and then go for a ride or something along those lines.

NEOMARXIST

Hi Dub. Whatever you may or may not decide to do, Just make sure taking a drink ain't one of them! You will always get support at SR.

All The Best mate. Keep The Faith.

intention

Hi Dub,

I know how you talk about your family you love them very much and would do so much for them, so this must be very frustrating for you.

But can you do this alone? You don't have to do it alone - there's support in AA meetings and through a sponsor. All you have to do is make the call or go there. There's always someone to listen and help you through the frustration.
Keep coming back.

Anna

Dub,

I really believe that early sobriety opens our eyes to things that we have been hiding from for a very long time. I had spend years working like a crazy person, to avoid seeing what I did not want to see. But, it was there.

I hope you feel better.

helpformyson

Dub,
Not sure what you mean about "slackness" of your family. But if you mean that they appear to be apathetic towards you, please try to understand that living with or being involved with an addict is very draining. I love my son with all my heart, but have become apathetic towards all the negative drama that surrounds his life, because it is all self-induced. It is not that I don't care, but he has sucked all the life and energy out of me. He has drained me physically, emotionally, financially and psycologically and I have nothing left to give. If this is the "slackness" that you are referring to, than I can understand. On your road to sobriety, your life, feelings and attitude will change and so will theirs. Don't give up on them and ask them not to give up on you.

Lenina

(((Dubs)))

I can't add much to what others have said here. All good advice and information. I have a rule that works for me. I give myself three days to carefully consider action. By then, I've cooled down, thought it through and make better decisions.

Do try and get to a meeting. That one on the beach at the foot of Rose St. is very nice. The beach is very soothing for me. Getting in touch with nature helps me know that it's all a cycle. This too shall pass.

Just don't drink or use, OK? You'll be in thoughts today!

Much love,

Lenina

Omega10

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, Dub. So you give up your family and move out on your own - honestly picture that. I don't know you that well, but I think you would miss certain things and find yourself wishing you were back there. So, you try to go back but they won't have you back. Now you are stuck coping with a rash decision on top of battling your addiction - completely and totally alone.

Do one thing at a time - get sober first then make your decision whether to stay or to go. The recommendation to not make any major changes for at least the full year is a good one, and is there for a reason. First, too much change is a bad thing and is hard to cope with. Second, your brain is re-wiring itself so many of your perceptions may be off kilter.

I don't know the complete situation you are in. But perhaps your family just doesn't know how to cope with your situation so they are appearing apathetic because they are trying to figure out what to do. Your disease impacts them just as much as your disease impacts you. Spend some time on the Friends and Family forum and you will see just how much alcoholism affects the lives of everyone who is around an addict. It took me a good couple of months to go to that forum because I didn't want to acknowledge the hurt that I caused. It was a real eye opener in the end when I did get the courage to see how much hurt my disease caused.

least

Just don't drink, no matter what. Early sobriety is a rough road sometimes. Just don't pick up. :ghug3

Lazyboy

Whoa.....You just described my life exactly.....I'm just plain tired....exhausted is a better word for it.Thanks for this.....I am not the only one feeling this pain.
Lazyboy