tam

well, after 2 weeks he called my work, I took the call as I felt I was strong and stable. it started out okay, then of course got heated. He tells me he is suffering so much pain then saids he is doing great, when I call him on what he saids he becomes angry, then he saids Im a bitch, vindictive, bad person. I used to believe it but not anymore. I told him that people keep asking me in town about him and what do you want me to say to them when they cant understand why you left me after 26 years , me having cancer 2x, you having crack addiction 13 years ago and now pills? I told him the truth what people are saying he needs rehab. whats wrong with him? why is he not getting help?? he didnt answer..then again, this one hurt he said, the couple Im staying with are much nicer to me than you have been in 26 years!!!!!! I controlled myself and just said to him STOP,STOP, THATS ENOUGH YOU CAN LIE,MANIPULATE AND THREATEN THEM, YOUR DOCTORS BUT YOUR NOT GOING TO DO THIS ******** TO ME ANYMORE..then he quickly changed the subject and again money was the issue, he needs to pay them rent. I said how much does it cost to rent a couch? does their landlord know your living there and they are charging you? well, again Im a bitch, vindictive evil person..I again said STOP STOP and he said..I have to go. I then said, tim god bless you, I hope you get help and I pray everynight for you. he didnt say anything more.
I think I did good, I didnt break down, I didnt lose control. I stood my ground. yes it hurt what he said, but I know he is extremely drugged, extremely ill and angry at me. yes it hurts, yes its hard, but we do this for them and I will tell you that most importantly we do it for ourselves as the addiction does so much damage to us, it sure takes a toll on us.
This forum gave me the strength, the courage, information,the reality of it all with addiction and I thank you all for this. any newbie here, please read all you can on here, attend meetings and a good therapist helps too. I didnt have the knowledge or even wanted to admit what was true with living with addiction, but thankful I finally sought support. take care and stay strong..going out now for a nice 3-4 mile run

praiseHim

Good for you!

Soleus

Thats fantastic you really did the right thing : ) Great job not letting what he said get to you, it hurts but it's suppose to, that's the intention so they can feel like the victim and trick us into thinking we're the ones doing them wrong. Its very frustrating that someone can be so blind to the reality of things. He knows you're right and the things you say get to him, elsewise he'd have an appropiate rebuttle to your statements but he knows you're not playing the game anymore. The more you stand up and stand strong the less he's going to bother you.

I'm very encouraged by you, it's tough and I hope if I come in contact with my A again I can keep my composure as you did. Congrats : )

Ann

He wanted money from you, and probably some pity too...and you didn't play. Good for you.

And if that's how he speaks to you, next time just hang up when the words get heated. You don't have to listen to that abuse.

You, me, each of us is worthy of respect. If respect isn't there, the conversation means nothing and should be terminated. Let them respect THAT.

Hugs