ladyhawk69

Hi all! Even though I am no longer friend or family, I still come here to read and it makes me feel better. I still do the stupid thing sometimes and think "what if"? I promptly start thinking of all the bad and it FAR outweighs the good and I get over it. :-) I've learned to let my head overrule my heart and my head wins every time. I had my last round of chemo today and believe me, it's been a looooong 5 months but I did it BY MYSELF!!!! ( with help from friends) I have radiation now to hurdle but I hear that's a little easier. I look back at the times I had my addict in my life and when the "what if" comes up, I say to myself that it probably would have stressed me out MORE and it would have wrapped somehow about HIM. I am so proud of myself for being proactive in all areas of my life. MY kids, starting to work a little when I can, going through the chemo and surviving it and above all, I took all of your advice and have my court date for June 24 to take him to small claims court. I don't want the world, just HIS part of HIS RESPONSIBILITY that he so easily walked away from. I refuse to be another person he does this to. That date will be my closure, my end and I will not look back (whatever happens). I hope he gets to his recovery point to realize what he has done to ALOT of people in the past few years. Maybe he won't but I know now...................it's not my problem.

Love you all!!!

Kim

Kelrunran

Wow - you need to feel so proud of yourself for being so strong. These were very tough challenges and obstacles and YOU made it through. I know that I have a hard time acknowledging when I accomplish things but now I am better at being happy for such things.

I pray that you continue heal and recover from your chemo as well as from the addict that was in your life.

Kelly (((hugs)))

kelsh

Hi LadyHawk, :ghug3

You are one brave Lady! I have had a lot to deal with & cancer in my family & know how much of self it takes to keep going a day at a time.

It is especially hard to go through emotional feelings & frustrations when you are dealing with a catastrofic illness. I remember how relieved I was when my divorce was finalized with all the changes my ex made to the wording that pertained to what he was expected to do...then it had to go back to my lawyer for the yay or nay.

I will be thinking of you & all the things you will be facing. Remember you are a very strong woman and have done this all by yourself without the ah in the picture. That takes a lot of brave heart & soul to do.


kelsh

Chino

You're an inspiration and I wish you a blessed life

alanonicnov2008

You have done yourself a big big favor by having him out of your life and giving yourself the chance to focus on you during this important time in your life. That's amazing! That is exactly what you needed to do.

I'm taking strength from this post. I'm about to go NC on my non-recovered addict boyfriend (he's in recovery but still acting out in abusive ways). I'm shoring up the strength I need to finally say goodbye so I can move on to the life I'm meant to have.

Ann

Keeping you in my prayers, Ladyhawk.

You are such an inspiration to me and so many here and I'm glad to see you are getting through all this with courage and grace.

Hugs

coffeedrinker

Glad to hear things are on the upswing.

It's funny, but I felt rotten every day during chemo, even when I hadn't had a treatment in a week or more. But, three days after my last round, I was on a plane and spent the weekend visiting friends in Texas. I think when I knew I was done, I was so uplifted.

You counted on yourself, you didn't let yourself down, and you prevailed.

ladyhawk69

You will be surprised at how much strength you really have when you have the courage to use it! I wish you nothing but the best and I KNOW you can do what's best for you!! My sister said something to me once that I still think of - Life is to short to be unhappy but it's also too LONG to be miserable! My thoughts, prayers and strength go out to you.

God Bless!

Freedom1990

Ladyhawk, you'll always be family here at SR, you know? Don't be a stranger.

:ghug3