WizeDeb

Hello SR Friends, Im kinda just blah today. Could have slept in this morning. Why is it when you have a 4 day week it just drags on and on? We had a great vacation, but today I must be in a funk?

Anyways Ive seen the posts are talking about new relationships. Funny the other day I was driving home from work and thought to myself. After everything that has happen to me, what NORMAL man is going to want me?
Ive got huge bags on my back. Im not ready for another relationship now, but how in the world am I ever going to tell another man my baggage.??

Picture this (sitting at table eating dinner)

He says-So tell me about your family?
Me-I dont have any they all passed, (if the relationship would go further, then I would have to explain my mothers murder???)
Him-So what happen to your husband?
Me-He was a aklie and commited sucide???

I can see him running as fast as the wind. Scares me sometimes. I know that I have a long way in recovery, but the very thought of trying to date someone with all this baggage makes me think I will never have a healthy normal relationship. And also Im so freaken lonely right now its unbelivable.
I have my daughter which I thank God for. But I feel starved for love. I think Ive been starved a very long time. Anyone else feel like that?

catlovermi

The ones that run, you don't want.

It's the one that takes a good long look at you and says, "Wow, you are a survivor, and a remarkable human being!" - That one, go to coffee with, again.

CLMI

theuncertainty

WizeDeb, I can completely understand how you feel about wondering why some one 'normal' would want me. I'm there. I think it's in part why I haven't (yet) started the divorce proceedings.

I've been so lonely lately. I have my young son, my brother, sisters and their families, my parents, but it's not the same. You know? Having some one to come home to at the end of the day and say "Hey, how was your day?", some one to talk with, and some one to give and get a big hug to/from. Would just be so wonderful.

I am so sorry to read about what you've been through.

CLMI, I love your post.

PieRat

Like someone said. The ones that run you do not want anyway. To me that is a sign that says they are not even strong enough in themselves to even finish the dinner, and the conversation.

It does not matter what has happened to you in your life. If someone is genuinely interested they will not run.

WizeDeb

I hear ya ladies, its my self estesm that I need to work on. Therapist today Thank God!! Yes I hear the lonely part, he had a good heart it was the drinking that killed it. I remember the times when he was loving and I miss that so much. Ive missed it for several years. Once in while I would see a glimmer, but then it would just go dark