Saphie

Maybe it's just me, maybe early sobriety is making me over sensitive and maybe it's not even my place to say so:
I have noticed in some posts that things are being written that could affect others in a negative way.
I know it's certainly not intentionally, but it might just sting a little.
SR members are wonderful when it comes to support and I have yet to see the opposite. We are all fighting our demons and it's great to hear when someone wins; however I have read a few comments that I wish would have been thought over before being posted.
Like how much easier it is to stop alcohol in comparison to other DOC's. I don't know if that's true or not. My DOC was alcohol only and it was hell while I was drinking and it sure was hell when I stopped.
I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Some mention they can have a certain alcoholic drink and it's no big deal. That's wonderful for them (I truly mean that), but for most of us it could be a deadly deal.
There is one illegal drug that I stupidly have tried a few times and luckily it didn't affect me at all. Good or bad and I have no desire to even try again. Yet I would never mention the drug on here or how lucky I was/am, because I know there are people on here that are fighting against that particular DOC.
Am I wrong in asking for a little consideration and thought before posting?
This was not meant as critisism - we are all in the same boat after all.
Thanks.

least

As in anything else, I take what I need and ignore the rest. Some posts 'bother' me but I try to understand the point in posting it. Some of us are more diplomatic than others, but some of us understand how bad it can get and are posting out of desperation and genuine good wishes. I just take what I need and leave the rest.

intention

Hi Saphie,

There's a lot here that I don't identify with but I have to remember it is "true" for the person who is posting it. I can just offer up my experience and what you get here is a whole range of ideas, suggestions, experiences which all go to help somebody.

As to being sensitive, I have not yet met an alcoholic who isn't - me included - we learn a lot about this in AA and how to not be so sensitive in recovery.

I know you are looking out for others but the best thing you can do to help others is to look out for yourself and your own recovery - by being sober you can be the most help. Getting upset over things which you cannot change can really put you in a vulnerable place with regards alcohol.

By the way, I like your signature

NoHo

It could be that some who claim the ability to easily kick a habit, or to be able to have one and not more, are actually still partially in denial. In the past, I have chosen moderation over quitting, relying on a perceived lack of compulsion to drink, only to be ten beers in the next night.

Kmber2010

Totally agree Least. If anything I try and make the most objective response if any at all and move on.

Everyone obviously has different experiences to share and I try and be respectful.

I hear ya though....especially when someone posts all about successfully moderating their drinking when they are on a site called sober recovery. The true alcoholic can not and does not moderate drinking. It usually is all or nothing.

I know I started drinking because of me.....quit drinking because of me and am now in recovery because of me and the great community of SR.

Dee74

Hey Saphie

I read things here all the time I don't agree with, or I think could have been phrased better....but I'm sure, at times, others have read posts of mine and thought exactly the same things LOL.

None of us is perfect - and we all have off days, either in posting stuff, or reading it.
It's an immutable internet law

This is still the best online recovery community I know - try not to let it worry you too much

D

Saphie

Thanks Dee,
couldn't agree more.
Yesterday was a bad day, I let it get to me. Sorry!
My main concern was how it could trigger others with worse consequences than just posting on here.
I try (I'm sure I don't always succeed either ) to always consider how my words could affect other people, but I should be more tolerant towards others. Something to work on.

Bamboozle

It's not just you and you're not the only one, Saphie.

Some folks can tell it how it is without being harsh...others don't have the knack.

I get criticized for being a 'cheerleader' around here.


I'm a pretty sensitive person. And I don't think 'sensitive' is a dirty word.
It's what makes me...me.


Stick close to the people who make you feel good.

Bamboozle

OMFSM! I used the same circle smilie graphic as D...and I swear I wasn't copying!

Bamboozle

...I hope I'm not giving the impression I'm perfectly sensitive.


I have my days.

yeahgr8

I see what you mean...i dont think that you need to worry about it being a trigger for others, at the end of the day if the kettle took too long to boil that would be enough of an excuse for me to drink..if someone is going to drink or use they will do so...the reason is totally irrelevant!

I went to rehab for a few weeks last year and there were different DOC's there and i do agree that the withdrawls and the physical side of coming off of different DOC's can vary quite a lot. The head counselor said the hardest thing to come off was benzos by comparison to alcoholc and would have to treat people accordingly...i did see someone coming off them first hand and it was terrible, seriously if you could have seen it you would agree!

I know that alcoholics that detox have bad times too and i didnt do a mdeical detox but i didnt hear or see anyone coming off of alcoholc screaming in their room or crying all the time...but at the end of the day i guess it is all relative and if someone thinks that coming off of a is worse than b then thats cool with me...makes no difference to me and for them it is the case because it is their reality...who cares about comparisons anyway?

As for sharing, i think it is good to share without too much though as in meetings, i want to hear what is really going on not what people think sounds good or what gets a load of thanks at the bottom of their posts...

At the end of the day, as has been said, take what you need and leave the rest...and that is a great way to make general life a lot easier too!

It's ok to have a bad day btw:-)

Mark75

The one guiding principle for me is to share my experience. It was not always that way, but I'm trying. Progress not perfection . I don't think I can hurt anyone by sharing my own experience, how I relate to the topic, what worked for me... etc.

All of us want to help. I firmly believe that to be true. Sometimes in the zeal to assist, helping one see, it can be easy to forget that we only have our own experience and that is all we have. I know I've been guilty of forgetting, and I might very well do so again.

I don't think we have the power to truly hurt someone by accident around here. We have moderators that intervene if that seems likely. But we do have the power to help others. That seems paradoxical, but people are usually pretty resilient.

Mark

Horselover

(((Saphie))) Just wanted to say that I think you are a well made individual and having compassion for others and looking out of others is not a bad thing. Keep being you and that is one thing I definitely wouldn't change about you. I like when others care about one another and aren't afraid to stand up and defend them. You did that and I applaud you.

I also agree with Least that I take what I need and "try" to give when I'm in a good frame of mind. I don't always like what's coming out of my computer, but I feel like I need to give back here. I am one that needs to think more when posting.

Good thread and thank you for having compassion. That's a plus in my book.

Rusty Zipper

hey saph,

if there was one thing i have learned,

i can take what i want, though i cant forget about the rest,

as some day i may need it.

good, not so good, or indifferent.

Anna

I agree with Dee, that SR is absolutely the best message board on the internet.

Of course, there have been things written here that I don't agree with. But, each and every time I come here, I find something that inspires me.

Lithobid

Take what you need and leave the rest...... Had I followed that advise, I would have not gone back out over some resentments. But I still think it's great advise!!

Lithobid