Bazel

Hi everyone, I am still in shock that I am here. Five years ago, if you would've asked me if I thought I would ever have trouble with my drinking, I would've thought you were nuts.....Well five years later, and here I am. I am here today because I want to stop. I want to be a good mom, I want to be a good wife and mostly I want to feel good about who I am and I now know I won't unless I do something about it. Not sure where to go from here but I thought I'd at least start a dialogue.....

Andi

Hi Bazel,

I think most of us feel that way, it never starts out as a problem right?
I think if we could have gotten a glimpse of who we'd become years later, while "enjoying" our very first alcoholic beverage, kind of like "Scrooge"...we'd just toss that drink right there! :-)) Unfortunately that doesn't happen. But fortunately things can change.

I can relate, I am a mother myself and now on my 60th day. There is lots of help, good advice here, but mostly people that understand.

Take care of yourself, being a good mom and wife will automatically follow.

Bazel

Thanks for commenting Andi, I appreciate it. The irony of the situation is my dad was a raging alcoholic and while I did enjoy the odd drink here and there, it wasn't until I was 35 years old before I really started drinking. Hell, my husband wasn't even allowed to keep beer in the fridge because fridges were for food and I didn't want my kids seeing alcohol in there and think it was normal....Yup, and now I am a mess, not sure what happened to take me here but I am so, I will put my chin up and be grateful that I am finally coming to my senses!

Kjell

I can totally relate and I bet most of us can too.

Denial is a big part of our troubles. Once we admit and accept, only then can we move on to recovery.

Congrats on taking a step in the right direction and welcome.

Soph

Hi Bazel

I am also a Mom and a daughter of an alcoholic. Good for you for quitting and for joining SR! I am on day 57 and the road is not easy for me every day - but I keep coming back! Hope you do too.

Hugs,

Soph

Bazel

Thanks and Congrats to all of you who are doing it! I hope I will be able to say the same.

Andi

Yeah it's weird like that.

My dad never drank before coming to this country, then his work-mates lead the way. He got very violent with my mom, she left him. When I was about two, he quit and never drank again, he used his religion to get himself back in check.
...then my mom years later, in a new relationship with a drinker (I was about 18), she started to join him more and more and over the years spiralled down, then up, then down again etc. Last time she was in hospital she was hallucinating. She's still struggling to stay sober.
... then me binge drinker, never drinking 24/7 but crossed the line way too many times, problematic from age 23 more or less (it's so sneaky I can't be sure)...now on day 60. Tried to stop before, realised there was a problem for quite some years, but I've never had this click like I have now.

smacked

Welcome! Looks like you've learned first hand something we all have.. alcoholism is progressive, and only gets worse if left unattended. Glad you're here!

Dee74

I was never gonna be like my family Bazel...I never started drinking in earnest until my mid 20s...I never liked to lose control...yet I ended up drinking all day every day by age 40.

This place has helped me turn things around though

You'll find a lot of encouragement here and a lot of people who understand
Glad to have you with us!

D

least

Welcome to SR! Have you given any thought to a recovery program? AA is the most well known and widely available but there are others. Here's a link:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

Whatever you do to get and stay sober, do it like your life depends on it... 'cause it does. I'm almost six months sober and it keeps on getting better. I still have the same problems but I handle them better now and my depression and anxiety are more manageable too, my meds work better when I'm not drinking.

Come here often. Read and ask questions. I'm glad you found us and joined the family.

Bazel

Thanks everyone, truly appreciate your kind words. "Least", sadly I grew up in recovery programs....then I married an alcoholic, and quickly got divorced because at that point, I was still of sound mind. Met and married a fantastic man with "no baggage", and then decided life must've been too good because it all went down from there....Everything I stood for, everything I hated, I became......life - it's a funny thing isn't it?!

artsoul

Welcome, Bazel! I didn't develop a problem either until my mid thirties. One thing for sure, though: once I knew I had a problem it was really difficult to drink "normally" again, whatever that is.... There's lots of us moms around, so keep posting. I stay close to this place because it helps me get through each day knowing that I'm not alone. It's hard to admit it and reach out for help, but I'm so glad I did and hope you will be too.