Does anyone have any alanon articles or other articles to deal with anger?
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Join Date: Jun 2009
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Does anyone have any alanon articles or other articles to deal with anger?
I'm really angry about everything and need to figure out better ways of dealing with my anger. Any suggestions or links?
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I don't have any articles at my fingertips, but I found journaling to be a great tool for dealing with anger. Spewing all the vile, nasty things I wanted to say onto a piece of paper got them out of me without hurting anyone else. 
L
L
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I have had some real anger issues, which at times has completely consumed me to the point that I can't do anything else. Completely unproductive; truthfully, I'm angry now as I type. But, going to the gym helps me. I blast my music while reading my book on the stair climber and my "anger" motivates me to push myself harder. Its my way of turning anger into something productive.
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If you have a copy of "Courage to Change - One Day at a Time in Al Anon II" you can look in the index and find a lot of good readings on anger. Here's one of my favorites:
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/24
I’m usually such a gentle, easy-going person that you’d never believe what happens when I get angry. I fly into a rage, my blood pressure seems to double, and I unleash a torrent of profanity. After years in Al-Anon, my anger is still a problem, but my behavior has greatly improved.
Some time ago my dog got its feet tangled in an extension cord and broke a beautiful vase. My temper flared, and angry words cut like sharp swords. What helped me to change this behavior was the look of hurt and bewilderment on my pet’s face at the sudden, violent change in me. If a little animal could respond this way, what were my outbursts doing to the people in my life who understood every nasty word?
Today’s Reminder
I am human and I get angry, but I don’t have to act out my anger in destructive ways. I do not have the right to take it out on others. Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad. Maybe next time I will try something new.
“We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.”
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/24
I’m usually such a gentle, easy-going person that you’d never believe what happens when I get angry. I fly into a rage, my blood pressure seems to double, and I unleash a torrent of profanity. After years in Al-Anon, my anger is still a problem, but my behavior has greatly improved.
Some time ago my dog got its feet tangled in an extension cord and broke a beautiful vase. My temper flared, and angry words cut like sharp swords. What helped me to change this behavior was the look of hurt and bewilderment on my pet’s face at the sudden, violent change in me. If a little animal could respond this way, what were my outbursts doing to the people in my life who understood every nasty word?
Today’s Reminder
I am human and I get angry, but I don’t have to act out my anger in destructive ways. I do not have the right to take it out on others. Whether my usual response is to scream, sulk in cold silence, or lash out with cruel words, today I can look at what I do when I get mad. Maybe next time I will try something new.
“We can pave the way for calm, reasonable communication only if we first find healthy outlets for our own negative feelings.”
The Dilemma of the Alcoholic Marriage
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 94
I googled Al anon dealing with anger and found this below to be helpful for me.
"Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Being angry is okay, it's what you DO with the anger that makes a difference." "Detach so that others actions don't make me so angry in the first place." "Even when I blow it, and don't handle it right, the program tells me to promptly admit it and to make amends whenever possible."
"Anger is a natural and normal emotion. Being angry is okay, it's what you DO with the anger that makes a difference." "Detach so that others actions don't make me so angry in the first place." "Even when I blow it, and don't handle it right, the program tells me to promptly admit it and to make amends whenever possible."
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Sweden
Posts: 1,649
Step 3 was my key to dealing with my anger. I was also angry about everything!
When I was working this step, and I have to go back to it often...I explored buddhist ideas and meditation. One tool I found there is to "pause" or "take a step away" from the anger.
This is also an AA tool: "pause".
In buddhism it is called finding the silent witness within yourself: your conscience. The part of you that determines if your actions are right or wrong.
The idea is to learn to respond rather than react.
Anger is a reaction, not a response.
I am slowly learning to weigh my emotional options. When I feel angry, I ask myself: "Do I need to feel angry about this? Can I feel another emotion about this?" or I ask myself: "Where is the anger coming from? Is it because I am afraid? Is it because I have a resentment here?"
When I can examine my anger I can determine if I am justified. I am usually not and I have been able to, more and more in recovery, choose to feel another way about things.
It takes time, but it can happen. Quite often these days I notice that things that would have upset me in the past no longer bother me at all!
When I was working this step, and I have to go back to it often...I explored buddhist ideas and meditation. One tool I found there is to "pause" or "take a step away" from the anger.
This is also an AA tool: "pause".
In buddhism it is called finding the silent witness within yourself: your conscience. The part of you that determines if your actions are right or wrong.
The idea is to learn to respond rather than react.
Anger is a reaction, not a response.
I am slowly learning to weigh my emotional options. When I feel angry, I ask myself: "Do I need to feel angry about this? Can I feel another emotion about this?" or I ask myself: "Where is the anger coming from? Is it because I am afraid? Is it because I have a resentment here?"
When I can examine my anger I can determine if I am justified. I am usually not and I have been able to, more and more in recovery, choose to feel another way about things.
It takes time, but it can happen. Quite often these days I notice that things that would have upset me in the past no longer bother me at all!
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