Shut it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Humble, tx
Posts: 82
Shut it!
I had a busy last couple of days. Many blessings, my mystery bulbs from the 99 cents store has finally gotten flower buds! I'm patiently waiting for the blooms. I've got 3 kinds of tomatoes, my herbs, my own source of abundance, and plenty of garden therapy. I'm very grateful for my metaphors also. ;-/
Exabf went on a bender, and managed to respect my ancient boundary of don't come here after drinking, yessss, house peaceful for 2 1/2 days!
He staggered in, angry because the door was locked, 7:30 am well yes I lock doors!
The thing is, I was in a good place for me, and here he is asking, demanding, myserenity.
Or I'm just freely giving it to him.
When he drinks for some reason his left eye closes about halfway. So I said oh my gosh what happened to your eye? Stupid dig, because he knows it, and so do I, sooo I went out to my garden, to try and stop myself, from getting on his merry go round, but he followed me. The dogs are so not interested in him, I can learn from my animals. I hope. I really want him gone now! He stinks, he's a slob, and the list of yucks goes on and on.
I can't make it happen now, so I have to practice patience. I'm going for a long Sunday morning drive. He made himself eggs. I observed, there's, salmonella growing on my counter as we speak!!! He cracks the eggs onthe edge of a rounded counter, it drips down the drawer and cabinet underneath. I ask him to go to his moms because, she can clean up his messes better than I can. I bitch while doing it and she doesn't!
Waaaaaaa
I need a break. I want some help. I want to change. I've got a lesson in here somewhere?
Exabf went on a bender, and managed to respect my ancient boundary of don't come here after drinking, yessss, house peaceful for 2 1/2 days!
He staggered in, angry because the door was locked, 7:30 am well yes I lock doors!
The thing is, I was in a good place for me, and here he is asking, demanding, myserenity.
Or I'm just freely giving it to him.
When he drinks for some reason his left eye closes about halfway. So I said oh my gosh what happened to your eye? Stupid dig, because he knows it, and so do I, sooo I went out to my garden, to try and stop myself, from getting on his merry go round, but he followed me. The dogs are so not interested in him, I can learn from my animals. I hope. I really want him gone now! He stinks, he's a slob, and the list of yucks goes on and on.
I can't make it happen now, so I have to practice patience. I'm going for a long Sunday morning drive. He made himself eggs. I observed, there's, salmonella growing on my counter as we speak!!! He cracks the eggs onthe edge of a rounded counter, it drips down the drawer and cabinet underneath. I ask him to go to his moms because, she can clean up his messes better than I can. I bitch while doing it and she doesn't!
Waaaaaaa
I need a break. I want some help. I want to change. I've got a lesson in here somewhere?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Humble, tx
Posts: 82
We agreed on 30 days. I'm not sure if I can make it sooner. I am biting my tounge, doing my "sentence", and taking care of me. I am busy with program too!
Despite my frustration, I am really excited, grateful, and blissed. I am in the process of finding my true self again, and I suppose it's like an A with a DOC, I tend to resent the one, who I think is trying to get between me and my joy. Does this make sense? I no longer want to be the reactor, controller, manipulator... I just want to be lil old me.
Despite my frustration, I am really excited, grateful, and blissed. I am in the process of finding my true self again, and I suppose it's like an A with a DOC, I tend to resent the one, who I think is trying to get between me and my joy. Does this make sense? I no longer want to be the reactor, controller, manipulator... I just want to be lil old me.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,902
I no longer want to be the reactor, controller, manipulator... I just want to be lil old me.
So, you just let him come and go and do whatever he wants? Being a doormat isn't any better than controlling, reacting or manipulating.
So, you just let him come and go and do whatever he wants? Being a doormat isn't any better than controlling, reacting or manipulating.
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Somewhere, our planet
Posts: 174
I also liked that you pointed out how your animals react to him...I've noticed over the years that my cat is an excellent judge of character--she tends to avoid those people that later turn out to be 'bad apples' or the like. I think they can sense these things.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Humble, tx
Posts: 82
Yes! Changing locks is on my list. He is here because everything as far as bills etc. Is 50/50 and this month is paid.
I know this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I'm powerless, yet I gain so much from the thought provoking responses.
I feel connected here like we are all so much more willing to speak honestly.
Off topic. My alanon friend is suicidal. I've been worried sick about her. She hasn't returned my calls all day, it's 1:22 here. I'm fighting the urge to go knocking on her door. I did offer to take her to mental health, but after 2 days of lots of drama and excuses, she isn't going. I think I should call the sheriff if she tells me her plan again. I can't fathom the idea of her death. I'm tryin to let it go, one minute at a time. But I can't! Do I phone the police or drive over? Or just share a moment of silence for my friend who still suffers?
I know this disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. I'm powerless, yet I gain so much from the thought provoking responses.
I feel connected here like we are all so much more willing to speak honestly.
Off topic. My alanon friend is suicidal. I've been worried sick about her. She hasn't returned my calls all day, it's 1:22 here. I'm fighting the urge to go knocking on her door. I did offer to take her to mental health, but after 2 days of lots of drama and excuses, she isn't going. I think I should call the sheriff if she tells me her plan again. I can't fathom the idea of her death. I'm tryin to let it go, one minute at a time. But I can't! Do I phone the police or drive over? Or just share a moment of silence for my friend who still suffers?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi serene-
regarding your friend, i'm wondering, have you established a new co-dependent relationship with her? as i continue along in my recovery, i'm noticing i have quite a few friends i'm trying to save...
regarding your man and the 30 days, is it possible to pay him what he's paid for this month and ask him to move onto his moms?
he sounds very disrespectful, making a big mess like that in the kitchen. in my book, it is not ok to break eggs on the countertop!
regarding your friend, i'm wondering, have you established a new co-dependent relationship with her? as i continue along in my recovery, i'm noticing i have quite a few friends i'm trying to save...
regarding your man and the 30 days, is it possible to pay him what he's paid for this month and ask him to move onto his moms?
he sounds very disrespectful, making a big mess like that in the kitchen. in my book, it is not ok to break eggs on the countertop!
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