wichitaks

Staying sober is realllyyyyyyyyyy hard though. Its taken every ounce of strength physically and mentally not to go to the bar today. The weather was perfect its a 4-day weekend and thats where I wanted to be, but I was able to fight these urges and park my butt at home. Im sort of depressed, sort of angry(why me) and happy all at the same time. Sorry I just needed to vent, Hope everyone is having a good day/weekend

Dream2bClean

I completely understand. Hang in there and know your are not alone in your efforts!

<3 Dream

notnormal

great day at work, super busy lots of nice folks in the store.. perfect weather outside and then.... closing time on a Saturday night. My store is open tues-sat so it's my friday.. so of course I start thinking how good a cold beer would be after work but also thinking that I don't have to.
So I grabbed some dinner with my wife who is supposed to go to a party that I've told her I'm not interested in going to.(acquaintances that I've only ever partied with, nothing else) so if she goes out I'm going to try and find a meeting to go to if it's not too late.
Otherwise I'll give up a night out in exchange for having a nice morning and day tomorrow.. should be a nice contrast to last sunday where I couldn't even get out of bed until 2...
one morning, afternoon or evening at a time these days for me.

Dee74

It can be really tough - but there's walways folks here to lean on and talk to
Noone need do this alone

D

AtlasMcGee

That's awesome wichitaks. The parking your butt & venting part That definitely comes with the territory & the way depression can sneak up on us leading to a fear based anger/frustration then still being able to be happy--that's awesome, hold on to that feeling. You're doing great.

Also think about how beautiful today really was & how sitting in a bar wouldn't have really allowed you to enjoy it. Even if the bar is outside the day could turn ugly real fast.

wichitaks

Thanks guys, if it wasnt for this site I would not have made it 7 days which since its 1am here is exactly how long I've been sober (yay me) I've literally been on the verge 3 different times today of heading straight up the corner to a grill/bar and planting myself on the patio with my other drinking buddies but all 3 times I came inside and logged onto here. Im so happy that i'll wake up in the morning with a clear conscious and not have to worry about whta I did, said, or texted the night before. Wow that statement alone says how drunk I would get Anyways thanks for the support you guys and enjoy the weekend and freedom that those in the military and the ones who were lost have given us. God Bless

SparklingSeven

Well done Wichitaks! It does get easier - this torture won't last forever. The goo weather kills me too - all the barbecues, football on TV. Aaaargh!!!

just got to get through it eh?

And that joy when you wake up an realise it's all good - still get that now after nearly 4 months.

Thanks!

Stu.

Almath

Congratulations Wichitacks on your 7 days Sober!!
I remember being there too - first week sober in years and getting the momentum and strength to keep going as it DOES get easier!! You should be really proud of yourself and enjoy the rest of this very special day :-)!!

Big hugs,

Almath

NEOMARXIST

Yer it can be hard, especially in the early days, but you have just got to get through it and ride it out at times, if you want to stay sober that is.

The good news is that it gets easier as you gain greater acceptance and gratitute of your alcoholism.

I remeber about 7 weeks ago when we had the first really nice warm day in England and I started to feel my gratitude slipping and myself getting a little bit p*ssed-off with things. I accepted it for what it was and got my head down and made sure that I worked my recovery in-order for my gratitude to come back. It came back a few days after that and I felt great for weeks and weeks.

What I have found in sobriety is literally when I have a slightly 'off-balance' day where I can feel I am not at my "perfect-equilibrium" (as I term it) then when I get that perfect equilibrium back then I feel great. Full of gratitude, peace of mind and clarity of thought. It makes sobriety totally worth it. It also seems to last weeks and weeks and weeks! Tis a great thing.

Peace

totfit

Think about why you would want to spend a beautiful weekend in a bar OR with your butt parked at home. Both of these choices make no sense. Get OUT and ENJOY the beautiful weekend. That is ONE of the things that keeps my butt out of bars.

wichitaks

Thanks everybody its been a tough weekend for me, the week was easy because I never drink on weekdays, none the less this is the most clear headed I've been in years. I think I can now somewhat realize what drinking til blackout one night a week can do to your body and MIND for the rest of the week. Right now instead of popping ibuprofen and laying in bed Im going to go ride some trails on the bike. I cant say I'll never drink again(I dont want to drink again) but Im sober today and if this is the way I could feel everyday than that is enough for me not want to go back. One weekend down hopefully many more to go

NEOMARXIST

You don't need to say that you won't ever drink again. You just need to make sure that you don;t drink again 'just for today'. This buys you valuable recovery time and then you get to the stage where you truly do not wish to drink anymore. You will wonder what the appeal of it ever was.

Peace

coffeenut

I agree with what Neo said. Take it easy, take it slow...and, Breathe.