notnormal

this week has gone pretty well so far, physically i feel much better. Haven't had a hangover since Sunday, drank Sunday but just enough to get through the pain from Saturday night... but tonight is rough. I really want to relax and have a glass of wine (or 5). there's still two open bottles on the counter (my wife drinks) and they haven't been much of an issue till now... they're calling me. AAHhhh!
I'm so happy to have people to tell this to and help remind me that this time is no different. I'm stopping because "IT DOESN'T WORK FOR ME" maybe for one night, maybe for a week but sooner or well let's just say sooner. I will be right back in the same place or worse....
Okay I feel better, time for some food, a cigarette some water, soda, tea or something and then.. I'll start my new book and go to bed and wake up feeling glad I didn't drink. Right?
Night 5

Dream2bClean

Why did you feel the need to quit drinking the first place?

Did you post here when you initially made that decision? If so you may want to go back and read those posts, hopefully you did, and you can remind yourself of why you quit.

No dont drink, do something else... anything, then enjoy your Saturday Morning feeling great and have a great weekend!

<3 Dream

HumbleBee

Hey there, nn.

Any chance your wife could put those bottles any place but open and on the counter?

Ya know, out of sight, out of mind...???

The first week is rough enough.

If she's supporting you in your recovery, she won't mind not making it like a neon flashing sign in your face. Know what I mean?

Glad you posted. We've been there. Hope you continue to share your progress.

tellus

Right. Just shoot for that lovely feeling of waking up clear-headed.

(And enjoy your book!)

notnormal

thanks humble bee and all,
I'm okay, just fighting an urge that's stronger tonight than the last few... the better I feel the stronger the urge is pretty much "normal" for me.. but that said I do know why I haven't drank all week and why I don't really want to drink tonight.
As for the wine... it's always going to be there or in our lovely rack over the counter or downstairs or hell at the store on the corner...
How close it is really hasn't been my issue in the past. It's simply a matter of not letting myself block out my reasonable thinking and simply act on my urges..
The very fist time i "slipped" when I was 19 or so (after a year or more) I simply thought about drinking, stopped in a liquor store bought a six pack and opened one up and drank it... never even thought about not doing it. Circumstance were what you would expect though.. hadn't been going to meetings, hadn't been talking to people etc.
So, what I'm doing now is talking to people. Thank you again for letting me

LovesToTravel

I believe that you believe that there is a problem. I noticed there was a problem when I admitted that I didn't know when to quit. They told me on this board that you quit when you are done (passed out) or the alcohol is done. I didn't realize that people did that. You are just like many of us. In the beginning it is rough. That voice keeps telling you that you feel good and you can drink. Don't be fooled. Go read your book (there is a listing of good books somewhere on this site..they really helped me in the beginning) Sleep if you must...but don't drink! Things will get better.

Stang

Cunning, baffling, and powerful! When I feel good I have thoughts of drinking also. The disease works that way. You begin to doubt you have a problem because you feel great. Don't be fooled by this crap!

least

I have never woken up sober and clear headed and wished I had drank the night before. I agree with reviewing the reasons why you quit drinking. It helps me stay sober by remembering how awful I felt last time I drank. That kills the urge pretty quick.

AtlasMcGee

Right!

All I got is the definition of insanity & BB script p.24

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice to drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.