Newcomer.. Seeking guidance. Please help.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1
Newcomer.. Seeking guidance. Please help.
Hi everyone. My name is Amanda and I am an addict. I have been sober for 66 days but have never attended an actual NA meeting. I want a life of sobriety and wellness, but I am mostly confused with and afraid of these next steps that lay before me, which I'm sure is a natural feeling for anyone in recovery. I am concerned right now, which is why I am here.
I have recently recognized my own addictions and moved on from the negative influences and habits that have supported my self-destructive behavior and I have made the decision to surround myself with positive people, positive energy and self support. However I am starting to feel my weaknesses because I miss the social interaction of my "past life" but I don't have any sober friends to talk with, who understand what I am going through. I am lacking the proper guidance and support, which would come from meetings and sponsors. But the thought of the 'first meeting' scares the crap out of me.
-Is it necessary to attend meetings as a part of recovery?
-Are there books I should be reading?
If you can't help with these questions, do you know who should I speak to?.. I am so confused. I want to know how it works? Are there certain things I should be doing? How many meetings and how frequently?? I would love even one answer.
Thank you so much!!!
I have recently recognized my own addictions and moved on from the negative influences and habits that have supported my self-destructive behavior and I have made the decision to surround myself with positive people, positive energy and self support. However I am starting to feel my weaknesses because I miss the social interaction of my "past life" but I don't have any sober friends to talk with, who understand what I am going through. I am lacking the proper guidance and support, which would come from meetings and sponsors. But the thought of the 'first meeting' scares the crap out of me.
-Is it necessary to attend meetings as a part of recovery?
-Are there books I should be reading?
If you can't help with these questions, do you know who should I speak to?.. I am so confused. I want to know how it works? Are there certain things I should be doing? How many meetings and how frequently?? I would love even one answer.
Thank you so much!!!
Toro Solo
Join Date: May 2010
Location: san francisco
Posts: 103
Hi Amanda,
I know that part of why I drank and used was the social aspect. Not that I didn't drink alone... I have in the past and 'am sure many others have used meetings as a means of socializing... It's not the best reason to go but it's better than not going. And who knows you may hear something interesting while you are hopefully making new friends.
I went to a meeting Tuesday night, my first since stopping again and I hide behind a pole outside waiting for the meeting to start, sat near the back and questioned what the hell I was doing there.
By the end of the meeting I realized that I was there because it was the right place for someone like me. I didn't really talk to anyone other than a few hellos but I felt good enough after that I suspect I'll go back next week.
It didn't s*ck I guess is what I'm saying.. and spending too much time alone doesn't do my overactive head a lot of good...
I know that part of why I drank and used was the social aspect. Not that I didn't drink alone... I have in the past and 'am sure many others have used meetings as a means of socializing... It's not the best reason to go but it's better than not going. And who knows you may hear something interesting while you are hopefully making new friends.
I went to a meeting Tuesday night, my first since stopping again and I hide behind a pole outside waiting for the meeting to start, sat near the back and questioned what the hell I was doing there.
By the end of the meeting I realized that I was there because it was the right place for someone like me. I didn't really talk to anyone other than a few hellos but I felt good enough after that I suspect I'll go back next week.
It didn't s*ck I guess is what I'm saying.. and spending too much time alone doesn't do my overactive head a lot of good...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Scranton, PA
Posts: 31
Welcome Amanda!!!!!! whether u choose n/a or a/a it is very important to make those meetings............I am an addict and I prefer a/a bc weall suffer from the same disease n/a personally makes me want to use when i get out of there they tell their war stories and u dont need to here that **** in early sobriety..............do u have the big book or the 12/12 if so read chapter 2 pg 17 of the big book it is called what is the solution!!!!!! "You will find answers in that chapter..............keep coming back!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 67
Hi Amanda,
I wanted to say hello and welcome you to the forum. I think meetings can be very helpful for hearing how others managed to deal with cravings, worries, feelings, etc. Don't be afraid about going; everyone is there for the same reason. I've met some great people in those rooms.
As for books, I can't say enough about this one: "First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes is Everything.'' It's a paperback and you could get it online pretty cheaply, I think. Your library might have it, too.
Take care,
ddog
I wanted to say hello and welcome you to the forum. I think meetings can be very helpful for hearing how others managed to deal with cravings, worries, feelings, etc. Don't be afraid about going; everyone is there for the same reason. I've met some great people in those rooms.
As for books, I can't say enough about this one: "First Year Sobriety: When All That Changes is Everything.'' It's a paperback and you could get it online pretty cheaply, I think. Your library might have it, too.
Take care,
ddog
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 385
Hi Amanda, and welcome.
I am a recovered addict/alcoholic who hasn't needed to regulate my feelings with a substance for over a decade. My solution, after years of struggle and "research" turned out to be the 12 steps. I also prefer AA, and usually recommend it to newcomers over NA...only because I personally found that NA meetings were often so explicit in their "war stories" that my desire to get high was triggered. I never had that happen in AA, and the steps are the steps, regardless of the program.
I was also terrified to go to a meeting. Of course, my entire life had been run on fear, so this was no surprise. The major fear for me was the notion of living without drugs and drinks. I could hardly imagine.
I walked out of my first meeting after five minutes, telling myself that I wasn't like "them." Two week later I called a friend who was 90 days sober and going to meetings, and she took me to what I consider my first meeting. It's pretty much a blur...but I can tell you that being with my friend made all the difference. We went out for coffee afterward, and I kept going to meetings. In my early daze I went to daily meetings, although I don't do that anymore. These days I go because I love my friends in recovery. And I love reaching out to newcomers. We do all kinds of social activities together as well.
The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees, no bosses or leaders, and no requirements to participate at all. Many people simply attend, sit quietly and listen until they're comfortable. However....you will be likely to encounter lots of very loving and supportive folks who will introduce themselves to you, give you phone numbers and share their own experience, strength and hope with you. And if it makes it easier, if you call the AA number in your phone book, usually they will be happy to send someone (gender specific) to pick you up and accompany you to a meetiing.
I still get a bit anxious when I go to a meeting where I've never been before....it's natural. And all meetings are autonomous, offering various different formats and fellowship. If you don't care for one, think of it like a restaurant where you didn't enjoy the food. You don't stop eating out...just try different restaurants. Chances are you'll be able to find a meeting that "fits" you comfortably, and my experience is that this is the very best way to find support for recovery. Doing it alone is a losing proposition.
Remember....no one in AA will require anything of you. And everyone there has shared your fears, doubts, insecurities and sense of hopelessness.
The text of AA, entitled Alcoholics Anonymous, was written by the first pioneers of AA, and in the forward section it states that "we are men and women who have RECOVERED from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." And then they explain....in detail...how they did it. It works.
Hope you keep coming back.
blessings
zenbear
I am a recovered addict/alcoholic who hasn't needed to regulate my feelings with a substance for over a decade. My solution, after years of struggle and "research" turned out to be the 12 steps. I also prefer AA, and usually recommend it to newcomers over NA...only because I personally found that NA meetings were often so explicit in their "war stories" that my desire to get high was triggered. I never had that happen in AA, and the steps are the steps, regardless of the program.
I was also terrified to go to a meeting. Of course, my entire life had been run on fear, so this was no surprise. The major fear for me was the notion of living without drugs and drinks. I could hardly imagine.
I walked out of my first meeting after five minutes, telling myself that I wasn't like "them." Two week later I called a friend who was 90 days sober and going to meetings, and she took me to what I consider my first meeting. It's pretty much a blur...but I can tell you that being with my friend made all the difference. We went out for coffee afterward, and I kept going to meetings. In my early daze I went to daily meetings, although I don't do that anymore. These days I go because I love my friends in recovery. And I love reaching out to newcomers. We do all kinds of social activities together as well.
The only requirement for membership in AA is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees, no bosses or leaders, and no requirements to participate at all. Many people simply attend, sit quietly and listen until they're comfortable. However....you will be likely to encounter lots of very loving and supportive folks who will introduce themselves to you, give you phone numbers and share their own experience, strength and hope with you. And if it makes it easier, if you call the AA number in your phone book, usually they will be happy to send someone (gender specific) to pick you up and accompany you to a meetiing.
I still get a bit anxious when I go to a meeting where I've never been before....it's natural. And all meetings are autonomous, offering various different formats and fellowship. If you don't care for one, think of it like a restaurant where you didn't enjoy the food. You don't stop eating out...just try different restaurants. Chances are you'll be able to find a meeting that "fits" you comfortably, and my experience is that this is the very best way to find support for recovery. Doing it alone is a losing proposition.
Remember....no one in AA will require anything of you. And everyone there has shared your fears, doubts, insecurities and sense of hopelessness.
The text of AA, entitled Alcoholics Anonymous, was written by the first pioneers of AA, and in the forward section it states that "we are men and women who have RECOVERED from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body." And then they explain....in detail...how they did it. It works.
Hope you keep coming back.
blessings
zenbear
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,475
Hi Amanda and Welcome!
There are many ways to stay sober and I truly hope you find a way that works for you.
I, too, had to change myself and my life from the inside out. I do not use AA, but I have found a spiritual connection in my life which is essential for me. I strive to keep things balanced in my life, everything, because I always tended to overdo.
There are many ways to stay sober and I truly hope you find a way that works for you.
I, too, had to change myself and my life from the inside out. I do not use AA, but I have found a spiritual connection in my life which is essential for me. I strive to keep things balanced in my life, everything, because I always tended to overdo.
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