One. Last. Time: court on Monday
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
One. Last. Time: court on Monday
I received a call from my supercalifragilistic lawyer today, to prepare me to possibly take the stand on Monday. Since I obtained a judgment by default for the custody of DD, we are going to try to obtain a judgment of divorce by default by substantiating allegations of mental cruelty I claimed in my sworn affidavit. From what I understand, this can go one of three ways:
1) A judge can decide to throw out the allegations and ask me to wait the prescribed 1 year period. At that point, I'd obtain my divorce on October 31st of this year.
2) A judge can decide to allow the allegations but request that they be defended by affidavit alone. In this case, we simply submit all the required documents and wait to see what the ruling it. I don't know how long the ruling will take though.
3) A judge can decide to allow the allegations to be argued in person, in which case I will have to take the stand and explain myself. This part makes me a teensy bit nervous. I'm afraid to screw things up.
My lawyer asked me to put together a short blurb about the "inherent problems" in my marriage and to send it to her via email; she later called to tell me that this is the blurb I'll be asked questions about, but there may be a few "surprise questions" depending on the judge on the bench, so I need to be prepared. We could get a very sympathetic judge, like the one who ruled at my custody hearing, or would could get a stubborn old boar who thinks that allegations of mental cruelty aren't valid reasons to end a marriage precipitously. Some judges think that unless there is proven infidelity or a history of physical or sexual violence, marriage should stay intact.
When I sat down to write the blurb, I actually had to go back and re-read my first posts here on SR to recall what specific situations prompted my separation from AH. Of course, the drinking was an issue, but my lawyer asked me to focus on the verbal and emotional abuse. I was actually surprised reading some of my old threads and journal entries...like "wow, he did that?!".
Anyhow, I guess it's not a big deal to have to wait until October to finalize the divorce...but a small part of me would rejoice if I could get it all finalized by Monday. Once it is, I'd have complete discretion regarding visitation and STBXAH would have to petition the court for anything more than the set visitation (3.5 hrs a week on Sundays).
Much crossing of fingers and toes is requested!
1) A judge can decide to throw out the allegations and ask me to wait the prescribed 1 year period. At that point, I'd obtain my divorce on October 31st of this year.
2) A judge can decide to allow the allegations but request that they be defended by affidavit alone. In this case, we simply submit all the required documents and wait to see what the ruling it. I don't know how long the ruling will take though.
3) A judge can decide to allow the allegations to be argued in person, in which case I will have to take the stand and explain myself. This part makes me a teensy bit nervous. I'm afraid to screw things up.
My lawyer asked me to put together a short blurb about the "inherent problems" in my marriage and to send it to her via email; she later called to tell me that this is the blurb I'll be asked questions about, but there may be a few "surprise questions" depending on the judge on the bench, so I need to be prepared. We could get a very sympathetic judge, like the one who ruled at my custody hearing, or would could get a stubborn old boar who thinks that allegations of mental cruelty aren't valid reasons to end a marriage precipitously. Some judges think that unless there is proven infidelity or a history of physical or sexual violence, marriage should stay intact.
When I sat down to write the blurb, I actually had to go back and re-read my first posts here on SR to recall what specific situations prompted my separation from AH. Of course, the drinking was an issue, but my lawyer asked me to focus on the verbal and emotional abuse. I was actually surprised reading some of my old threads and journal entries...like "wow, he did that?!".
Anyhow, I guess it's not a big deal to have to wait until October to finalize the divorce...but a small part of me would rejoice if I could get it all finalized by Monday. Once it is, I'd have complete discretion regarding visitation and STBXAH would have to petition the court for anything more than the set visitation (3.5 hrs a week on Sundays).
Much crossing of fingers and toes is requested!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Wizard Land Downunder
Posts: 2,615
Can't cross fingers or toes, as they refuse to co-operate, but will up the ante on my prayers for you. All the best for Monday, and don't worry if you need to testify, as all you do is tell it as it was....bloody horrible.
God bless
God bless
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
That's awesome that you had the record of it all here on SR! Just go back over those posts (or can you take notes with you?) and just tell the truth.
He may not have been physically abusive but he is/was the very DEFINITION of emotional abuse. Abuse is abuse. No judge should withhold a divorce in an abuse case! That would be crazy!
You won't screw it up. Only a quivering bowl of jello would do that.
He may not have been physically abusive but he is/was the very DEFINITION of emotional abuse. Abuse is abuse. No judge should withhold a divorce in an abuse case! That would be crazy!
You won't screw it up. Only a quivering bowl of jello would do that.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 93
You'll be just fine...you've overcome a lot these past months. This will be a walk in the park for you! Best of luck on Monday and know that we'll be thinking of you. Be sure to let us know how it goes....you know how we hate pins and needles!
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