New to recovery
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3
New to recovery
Hello everyone! I've been lurking on the forums for a while, but this is my first time posting. Anyhow, I'm new to recovery and sobriety and I had a few things I wanted to ask, as I'm not sure how to handle a lot of this...
How would one go about choosing a sponsor? I just started going to this new meeting and I'm in desperate need of a sponsor but I don't know how I should approach anyone, even though they've volunteered...How would I go about this? What should I say?
I just got out of a program and I felt strong and 100% comitted to recovery. However, after a week of being home, the dreaded cravings and urges started up again and now I'm like battling myself over this. I don't want to give in and I won't, but I'm experiencing a Jekyll-and-Hyde deal and I don't like it much. Is this all common? Is it common to be really anxious about everything in general, as well? I have bad anxiety to begin with, but ever since I entered active recovery and came home, I've been a lot more worried and kind of paranoid. I want to do this but I fear I can't.
I just want to stay sober, and I wish all the cravings would go away already. I know that's normal, but it sucks. The longer I stay sober, the more part of me is convinced that I'm not alcoholic/addict because I've refrained for so long (well, 67 days), and that I can use again. However, I know it's not true....it's very tempting though.
Anyway, I'm really sorry about the length of my post, I'm just seeking some advice.
Thank you all, this forum is a Godsend.
-Senzafine
How would one go about choosing a sponsor? I just started going to this new meeting and I'm in desperate need of a sponsor but I don't know how I should approach anyone, even though they've volunteered...How would I go about this? What should I say?
I just got out of a program and I felt strong and 100% comitted to recovery. However, after a week of being home, the dreaded cravings and urges started up again and now I'm like battling myself over this. I don't want to give in and I won't, but I'm experiencing a Jekyll-and-Hyde deal and I don't like it much. Is this all common? Is it common to be really anxious about everything in general, as well? I have bad anxiety to begin with, but ever since I entered active recovery and came home, I've been a lot more worried and kind of paranoid. I want to do this but I fear I can't.
I just want to stay sober, and I wish all the cravings would go away already. I know that's normal, but it sucks. The longer I stay sober, the more part of me is convinced that I'm not alcoholic/addict because I've refrained for so long (well, 67 days), and that I can use again. However, I know it's not true....it's very tempting though.
Anyway, I'm really sorry about the length of my post, I'm just seeking some advice.
Thank you all, this forum is a Godsend.-Senzafine
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Hi I just posted the same ? a little while ago and got some good responses, you should check them out.
Good luck in finding yours, I am praying I find mine tonight at an all womans meeting that I heard is great!
Thats the plan!
<3 Dream
Good luck in finding yours, I am praying I find mine tonight at an all womans meeting that I heard is great!
Thats the plan!
<3 Dream
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
The way to get a sponsor is to ask somebody to be your sponsor! hahaha.
I shared in a meeting that i needed a sponsor badly and people approached me afterwards. I took the first person to approach me as a temporary sponsor. They helped me a bunch at first.
I then began feeling like i wanted a new sponsor so i listened and watched and found someone who seemed to be living the kind of life i wanted. Someone who was not only clean, but was happy, peaceful, and serene. Somebody who shared experience, strength, and hope without preaching or giving advice.
When i found this person i was very nervous about asking him so in conversation i asked him if he currently had any sponsees(i knew he didn't from asking around). And when he said no, i said "would you like one?" hahahaha. he laughed and said sure. I got the sponsor i wanted without even saying "will you be my sponsor?" silly i know but that's what happened.
We got to work immediately and he's my sponsor today.
As far as the anxiety, for me i had to remind myself that it's temporary like all feelings. Things i did daily at first that i still do today that help with anxiety are exercise, meditation, easy on the caffeine, and HALT. Don't let myeslf get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. HALT really works and meditation is the biggest helper for me in a myriad of ways. It's critical to my recovery.
I shared in a meeting that i needed a sponsor badly and people approached me afterwards. I took the first person to approach me as a temporary sponsor. They helped me a bunch at first.
I then began feeling like i wanted a new sponsor so i listened and watched and found someone who seemed to be living the kind of life i wanted. Someone who was not only clean, but was happy, peaceful, and serene. Somebody who shared experience, strength, and hope without preaching or giving advice.
When i found this person i was very nervous about asking him so in conversation i asked him if he currently had any sponsees(i knew he didn't from asking around). And when he said no, i said "would you like one?" hahahaha. he laughed and said sure. I got the sponsor i wanted without even saying "will you be my sponsor?" silly i know but that's what happened.
We got to work immediately and he's my sponsor today.
As far as the anxiety, for me i had to remind myself that it's temporary like all feelings. Things i did daily at first that i still do today that help with anxiety are exercise, meditation, easy on the caffeine, and HALT. Don't let myeslf get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. HALT really works and meditation is the biggest helper for me in a myriad of ways. It's critical to my recovery.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
The available sponsors at my meetings are usually asked to stand & say their name and people that are looking to find a sponsor are asked to approach them at the end of the meeting. I am not sure if this is the "norm" though.
Scars,Souvineers we never lose
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 325
Ohhh August,
I like that idea, that way it doesnt feel like I am asking a woman to be my girlfirend, which is what i am afraid of
Good Luck Senz, I know I would not be able to wait until monday to get one, but I really hope you find yours as soon as possible!
<3 Dreams
I like that idea, that way it doesnt feel like I am asking a woman to be my girlfirend, which is what i am afraid of
Good Luck Senz, I know I would not be able to wait until monday to get one, but I really hope you find yours as soon as possible!
<3 Dreams
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3
At the end of the meeting I go to, they ask if anyone is willing to be a sponsor and the ones that are raise their hands...I just want to make sure I pick the right sponsor, because I didn't really do so well on that part last time (I've been in and out of the rooms since September of last year, but this time I'm actually intent on recovering from more than just alcoholism . I want to work the steps and I'm willing to follow any suggestions that may be given to me - my thinking got me to this point, so I think it's safe to say I shouldn't trust it. :P
Well, hopefully tonight I'll find the right sponsor for me. Hope is the key word!
Also, I find it really hard to talk in meetings, or even read the steps or anything - any tips for that? I fear making myself look like an idiot or being smirked at...I know that's generally not the nature of most AAers, but I fear regardless.
Thank you all again,
-Senzafine
. I want to work the steps and I'm willing to follow any suggestions that may be given to me - my thinking got me to this point, so I think it's safe to say I shouldn't trust it. :P Well, hopefully tonight I'll find the right sponsor for me. Hope is the key word!
Also, I find it really hard to talk in meetings, or even read the steps or anything - any tips for that? I fear making myself look like an idiot or being smirked at...I know that's generally not the nature of most AAers, but I fear regardless.
Thank you all again,
-Senzafine
dopeless hope fiend
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Here. Now.
Posts: 1,021
I was really quiet at first. I just listened. A lot of sponsors actually recommend just listening for a while. My sponsor also suggested that i grab one of the readings before the meeting and read it, at every meeting i go to in my 90 in 90. I do so and it was great. I was nervous and self conscious reading at first but it helped people get to know who i was. They'd remember my name and that i'd been taking some action for my recovery by reading each meeting. It really helped me feel a part of NA. That and getting a homegroup and doing service work...
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Sen and welcome!!!! Glad you're reaching out for support - this is a great place to find it.
First of all, you're going through alot. You've had "culture shock," both going into treatment and returning home. So keep it simple is the word of the day. Give yourself some time/space to get reacquainted with your life, going to meetings, getting a sponsor, etc. Remind yourself every day that sobriety is #1, top of the list.
One way that I deal with the cravings is to come here and read everyone's posts (especially newcomers). It helps remind me that we all have basically the same story and are working towards the same goal. It feels good knowing I can talk to someone any hour of the day or night and not have to "suffer" through those times by myself. So stick around and post/read alot. :ghug3
First of all, you're going through alot. You've had "culture shock," both going into treatment and returning home. So keep it simple is the word of the day. Give yourself some time/space to get reacquainted with your life, going to meetings, getting a sponsor, etc. Remind yourself every day that sobriety is #1, top of the list.
One way that I deal with the cravings is to come here and read everyone's posts (especially newcomers). It helps remind me that we all have basically the same story and are working towards the same goal. It feels good knowing I can talk to someone any hour of the day or night and not have to "suffer" through those times by myself. So stick around and post/read alot. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: chico, ca
Posts: 321
Chosing a sponsor
Start going to a regular meeting, consistantly. Find someone of your gender that has the type of recovery you admire, respect, ackowledge, or identify with, and ask. Corage is NOT a lack of fear, it's when you act IN SPITE of fear. I'm new to forums, but have 5 plus years of day to day sobriety. Congratulations on yours. If this was easy, everybody would be sober.
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