kia

hiya im at a weird point of my 1ife just wondering what im doing with my 1ife i must admit i not been on cos got a bit upset about a comment on my thread is this what it does been invo1ved with an A makes it so your so sensitive t negative comments from anyone cos other week i didnt get invited to a party by pp1 i fe1t i shou1d of been and was so upset never used to be 1ike that my skin seems to be super thin atm and i was worried posting on here again in case i was critised again cos we11 i just cant take it atm just one of them horrid days when i dont just dont get why im sti11 here cos im fee1ing 1ike ive 1ost the on1y guy i wi11 ever 1ove and the one im seeing we11 its so empty and im so scared of upsetting him again by ending it even though i know its coming i 1ike spending time with him as a friend but thats as far as it goes ive broken hearts to be with the A then it a11 goes horrib1y wrong and we11 what now

Jenny1232

I know this is completely off topic, but how do you relace every 'l' with a '1'? Do you go back an edit? That just seems like a lot of work! Woo.

I'm sorry you're feeling the way you do. I'm not sure how old you are, but as my therapist said to me yesterday, "people don't really begin to understand who they are until they're around 27."

theuncertainty

Hi, Kia. I'm glad you're back reading and posting. I know that when I've had a hard time with a post I've read it was either - I read or interpretted it wrong or I really needed to hear it but didn't want to face it. I'm not sure it's strictly a dealing-with-an-A-thing, but in my case it's definitely a denial thing.

I can understand feeling like my AH is the only man I'll ever love. He was wonderful for a time. I think I'm getting over him and something brings all the old feelings roaring back. Tumultuous, overwhelming... Then he does something that completely p***es me off, or he doesn't and the storm fades on it's own anyway. I can't say that it'll fade for you. I can't even say if it'll fade for me. The heart wants what the heart wants. But sometimes the head has to step in and remind it kindly that there were bad traits too, life with the A wasn't all peachy-keen the way the heart wants to remember.

Then again, life with an A can become an addiction in its own right. I'm hoping that as I work through my own recovery, I'll be able to deal more productively with whatever feelings I have/experience/uncover about my AH without feeling overwhelmed by them.

Best wishes.

Freedom1990

I don't know why, but it's really hard for me to read and absorb your posts with all the 1's in place of l's. Is your l key broken?

Bernadette

Kia there's not many ways out of bad feelings except to feel them and go through them and try to learn from them!

Are you working some kind of program for yourself? AlAnon? Therapy?

I needed a lot of HELP to change myself / my life - I was unhappy and the solutions were there I just didn;t know which way to go or what to do! I needed to follow directions in AlAnon and I needed the guidance of a good therapist!

peace-
b

kia

hiya 1ast night was not a good nite was on a rea1 downer and yes my kb is broke the 1 key and starting to go the o key too someone has given me a site which se11s u individua1 keys wi11 1ook into how easy its gonna be to do it but to be honest everythings on top of me atm might just go for new kb theres a guy who fixes my puter hes kinda cute too so might we11 just ca11 him to come fix it sorry if its off putting annoys me too your so right though saying what the heart wants its so true then the head steps in and says no way not sure im any better today to be honest one of dads roses just f1owered and it never f1owered whi1st he was a1ive upset me somewhat just keep thinking whats the point

Ann

Kia,

The point of living is because, no matter how bad it all seems today, bad days don't last forever and there is a lot of life left to live once you feel better.

I lived for years in the darkness of depression, thinking my life would never be good again, seeing no way to find the light that I needed to start feeling human again.

Recovery literally gave me my life back. I found it through meetings with people who understood, who had something I wanted and who showed me how to get it by living 12 little steps.

It turned out that life wasn't about what others thought, what others were doing, or what others did or did not to to make me feel sad/mad/less than/unworthy. The key to my happiness was inside ME, I held it all along and just kept looking for it in others. I alone can find my happiness and live it.

Today I embrace every day of life because life is a gift and worth living well. I wake up every morning tickled pink to be alive and I see beauty in the sunrise, the birds, the world around me. The world didn't change...I did, and that has made all the difference.

Keep your head up, know you are a blessed child of God, worthy of love and respect, and live today well. You are worth it.

Big Hugs because you sound like you could use them.