I'm with moose!
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
I'm with moose!
I just read a thread posted by Moose saying she had that Gut feeling again.
My son finally got a job a couple of months ago. Although it was just a temporary job remodeling a restaurant, the boss really liked him and had other work he wanted him to do at his house.
Right before he got this job, he had joined AODS where he was tested at random. He was also waiting for a bed opening for a 6-month in-patient program. He figured he could take the job while he was waiting and all would work out perfectly. He asked if I would save the money he made for him, and of course, I agreed.
Well, I thought so too. However, even though I spoke to him daily, and he sounded really good, he wasn't. First clue was he didn't come over with any money although he was paid weekly. I didn't ask either just hoped he was making good choices.
When he couldn't make it here on Mother's Day, but promised he would be here a few days later for his grandaughter's birthday, then asked me to pick up a gift for her as he didn't have any money, I was furious and asked who got his money? Of course, he hung up, which was a dead give away!
I didn't buy a gift for her from him because that was his responsibility and I told him so.
Anyway, things have been going downhill from there! GF said he has to leave 'cause he is using again. I called him and he hung up so I wrote him a "Dear John" letter telling him not to contact us again until he either got into a program or found help for his problem.
He hasn't contacted me since then. Last night I started having the bad dreams of "police" at our door! I hate it when that happens because I'm generally right!
We have the our great-grandaughter here who was just 3 years old last week. She is beautiful, and so much fun. However, I'm furious that he has only come here once to see her. He lives about 1/2 hour from us.
I have had sciatica for 2 months now and am really hurting. Between that and the son, I'm ready to JUMP! The only thing that keeps me on track is the little girl. She deserves so much more than a mother who is on drugs and a grandfather that won't try!
I'm going to try and post a photo of her again. I wait so long in between I always end up forgetting how to do it. Here goes:
Hugs, Devastated
My son finally got a job a couple of months ago. Although it was just a temporary job remodeling a restaurant, the boss really liked him and had other work he wanted him to do at his house.
Right before he got this job, he had joined AODS where he was tested at random. He was also waiting for a bed opening for a 6-month in-patient program. He figured he could take the job while he was waiting and all would work out perfectly. He asked if I would save the money he made for him, and of course, I agreed.
Well, I thought so too. However, even though I spoke to him daily, and he sounded really good, he wasn't. First clue was he didn't come over with any money although he was paid weekly. I didn't ask either just hoped he was making good choices.
When he couldn't make it here on Mother's Day, but promised he would be here a few days later for his grandaughter's birthday, then asked me to pick up a gift for her as he didn't have any money, I was furious and asked who got his money? Of course, he hung up, which was a dead give away!
I didn't buy a gift for her from him because that was his responsibility and I told him so.
Anyway, things have been going downhill from there! GF said he has to leave 'cause he is using again. I called him and he hung up so I wrote him a "Dear John" letter telling him not to contact us again until he either got into a program or found help for his problem.
He hasn't contacted me since then. Last night I started having the bad dreams of "police" at our door! I hate it when that happens because I'm generally right!
We have the our great-grandaughter here who was just 3 years old last week. She is beautiful, and so much fun. However, I'm furious that he has only come here once to see her. He lives about 1/2 hour from us.
I have had sciatica for 2 months now and am really hurting. Between that and the son, I'm ready to JUMP! The only thing that keeps me on track is the little girl. She deserves so much more than a mother who is on drugs and a grandfather that won't try!
I'm going to try and post a photo of her again. I wait so long in between I always end up forgetting how to do it. Here goes:
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Never, Never land
Posts: 2,851
She is so cute.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through all of this, but you did the right thing. When I was at my worst in my addiction, my mother had custody of my 3 children. I was homeless and living on the streets selling myself for drugs. My parents had been great enablers for years. Finally they cut me off and told me not to contact them again unless I was clean and sober and was doing everything I needed to do to stay that way.
After going to jail 14 years ago, I was released to my parents house on parole. I finally managed to get myself together. This coming August (God willing) I will have 14 years clean and sober.
Hopefully being cut off he will hit his bottom and find his way.
Prayers are with you
I'm sorry to hear you are going through all of this, but you did the right thing. When I was at my worst in my addiction, my mother had custody of my 3 children. I was homeless and living on the streets selling myself for drugs. My parents had been great enablers for years. Finally they cut me off and told me not to contact them again unless I was clean and sober and was doing everything I needed to do to stay that way.
After going to jail 14 years ago, I was released to my parents house on parole. I finally managed to get myself together. This coming August (God willing) I will have 14 years clean and sober.
Hopefully being cut off he will hit his bottom and find his way.
Prayers are with you
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hi Namommy:
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. You give me hope that he cares enough about Mr. Dev, me, and grandaughter that he may decide to go into a program.
He is still on parole though. It's been one year 7 months. He still have one year 3 months to go.
Praying
Hugs, Devastated
Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. You give me hope that he cares enough about Mr. Dev, me, and grandaughter that he may decide to go into a program.
He is still on parole though. It's been one year 7 months. He still have one year 3 months to go.
Praying
Hugs, Devastated
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
(((((Dev)))))
Although we all know to listen to our guts, I'm sorry that in your case it was right. He knows what to do - hopefully he will find the strength to do it. Your great grand daughter is so precious -Thanks to you and Mr D for being there for her. Hugs
Oh and I hope your sciatica eases...I know that pain - pretty horrid! Sometimes standing on my head is the only way to get relief when it is flaring up...Seriously!
Although we all know to listen to our guts, I'm sorry that in your case it was right. He knows what to do - hopefully he will find the strength to do it. Your great grand daughter is so precious -Thanks to you and Mr D for being there for her. Hugs
Oh and I hope your sciatica eases...I know that pain - pretty horrid! Sometimes standing on my head is the only way to get relief when it is flaring up...Seriously!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Awww, darn it Dev, if they'd only listen to us, yes?
But they don't, we both know that, so all we can do is pray for them and let God and them sort out the rest.
And poo on him for missing Mother's Day and his granddaughter's birthday. But we can't change that either.
You have been blessed with a lovely little girl to take care of, and I have a feeling that she takes care of you too.
She's a precious sweetheart and please tell her that her Great-great Auntie Ann sends big squishy hugs.
Keeping your son in my prayers, maybe stepping them up a notch, and then leaving the rest to God.
Special prayers for you and Mr. Dev too, just because you are both such special people.
Big Hugs and Lotsa Love
But they don't, we both know that, so all we can do is pray for them and let God and them sort out the rest.
And poo on him for missing Mother's Day and his granddaughter's birthday. But we can't change that either.
You have been blessed with a lovely little girl to take care of, and I have a feeling that she takes care of you too.
She's a precious sweetheart and please tell her that her Great-great Auntie Ann sends big squishy hugs.
Keeping your son in my prayers, maybe stepping them up a notch, and then leaving the rest to God.
Special prayers for you and Mr. Dev too, just because you are both such special people.
Big Hugs and Lotsa Love
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Thanks Greeteachday for the advice on how to ease the pain for the sciatica! If I could stand on my head, I don't think I'd be having the sciatica pain 'cause I'd have to be about 5 years old to do that! You're a better woman than I am.
I got an email from my favorite son-in-law and he said " I don't want to worry you, but the only time my wife had sciatica was when she was pregnant; however, I'm not worried 'cause I know you kids are being careful!"
iS THAT HYSTERICAL!! I mean the part about being careful! LOL
Oh, thank you great-auntie Ann for those big squishy hugs. Yes, unfortunately, they don't listen to us! I wanted to call him on several different occasions today, but held my ground! I refuse to look for him! Thanks for the prayers. Yep, best step them up a huge notch!
Oh, funny thing happened. I got a letter from Western Union saying that money I sent back in 2003 was never picked up! WOW, how did that happen?
Hugs, Devastated
I got an email from my favorite son-in-law and he said " I don't want to worry you, but the only time my wife had sciatica was when she was pregnant; however, I'm not worried 'cause I know you kids are being careful!"
iS THAT HYSTERICAL!! I mean the part about being careful! LOL
Oh, thank you great-auntie Ann for those big squishy hugs. Yes, unfortunately, they don't listen to us! I wanted to call him on several different occasions today, but held my ground! I refuse to look for him! Thanks for the prayers. Yep, best step them up a huge notch!
Oh, funny thing happened. I got a letter from Western Union saying that money I sent back in 2003 was never picked up! WOW, how did that happen?
Hugs, Devastated
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in my own world~
Posts: 1,237
Hi Dev, Sorry to hear your going through some bad times again but I bet that gorgoeous (sp) little girl helps to put a smile on your face. Its not easy taking care of a 3 yearold daily especially with the pain you are experiencing...man I can't spell tonight. Anyways, hope things calm down a bit but you know the ropes and I'm praying that things do get better. Hugs and smiles, Bonnie
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Dev))) - so sorry that your gut was right, along with ((Moose's)) and that your sciatica is acting up (I know that pain, and OUCH!!) Little Miss ((T)) is absolutely adorable..and look at you - you still remember how to post pictures!!
Your son? Well, he's gonna do what he's gonna do and pay the consequences. Hoist up that recovery tool belt, pull out the old tools and build you a fort for you and Little Miss ((T)) to play in...full of love, hope, and dreams. Thanks to you and Mr. Dev, that's what your house is full of There's no room for addiction.
Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Your son? Well, he's gonna do what he's gonna do and pay the consequences. Hoist up that recovery tool belt, pull out the old tools and build you a fort for you and Little Miss ((T)) to play in...full of love, hope, and dreams. Thanks to you and Mr. Dev, that's what your house is full of
There's no room for addiction.Love, hugs and prayers!
Amy
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
Keep taking care of YOU and that precious little Beam of Sunshine!!!
TLC for your heart where it is hurt and use the tools of your recovery to do the Next Right Thing in your life!!
You are an AWESOME WOMAN!!!!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
TLC for your heart where it is hurt and use the tools of your recovery to do the Next Right Thing in your life!!
You are an AWESOME WOMAN!!!!!
PINK HUGS,
Rita
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Thanks to everyone of my great friends for your support, prayers, and well wishes.
I haven't heard from my son yet, and I haven't made an effort to call him. I told him in the letter that if he wanted to be part of this family he was going to have to make the decision to get some type of help. Guess he's still not ready. Sure was hoping he would be ready sometime in my life time, but guess that's not going to happen.
We're keeping very busy with the little one and tomorrow the social worker, and possibly her Mamma, will be here for a visit. Have mixed feelings about her seeing her Mamma, but whatever is best for the baby is fine with me. Don't know if she will make it, as she missed her scheduled visit with her baby boy, who is now in a foster home. How sad! Really don't think she ever really bonded with that baby, but she did with this one. She called on her birthday but baby wouldn't talk on the phone, so mamma cried. Yep, that's what mamma's do!! Only this time, it's mamma's fault!
If she does come here, I pray this will make her come to her senses. Sure didn't do it for my son! I thought it was going to for a while there, but guess the drugs were more important again!
Keep those prayers coming he sure could use them.
Hugs, Devastated
I haven't heard from my son yet, and I haven't made an effort to call him. I told him in the letter that if he wanted to be part of this family he was going to have to make the decision to get some type of help. Guess he's still not ready. Sure was hoping he would be ready sometime in my life time, but guess that's not going to happen.
We're keeping very busy with the little one and tomorrow the social worker, and possibly her Mamma, will be here for a visit. Have mixed feelings about her seeing her Mamma, but whatever is best for the baby is fine with me. Don't know if she will make it, as she missed her scheduled visit with her baby boy, who is now in a foster home. How sad! Really don't think she ever really bonded with that baby, but she did with this one. She called on her birthday but baby wouldn't talk on the phone, so mamma cried. Yep, that's what mamma's do!! Only this time, it's mamma's fault!
If she does come here, I pray this will make her come to her senses. Sure didn't do it for my son! I thought it was going to for a while there, but guess the drugs were more important again!
Keep those prayers coming he sure could use them.
Hugs, Devastated
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
Hiya Dev,
Well, it seems like we have a M.W.G. Club! (That's "Mothers With Guts", by the way. Hmmm...I DO have a gut...
Maybe we could organize a cruise...for us M.W.G. ?
Probably could get a group rate?
Hmm...I think I'll start getting my traveling clothes together.
Do you want to take the Codie jet, or shall we ask Ann to drive the Codie Bus to our point of departure?
All Aboard!
Hey I found this neat new bus.
Well, it seems like we have a M.W.G. Club! (That's "Mothers With Guts", by the way. Hmmm...I DO have a gut...
Maybe we could organize a cruise...for us M.W.G. ?
Probably could get a group rate?
Hmm...I think I'll start getting my traveling clothes together.
Do you want to take the Codie jet, or shall we ask Ann to drive the Codie Bus to our point of departure?
All Aboard!
Hey I found this neat new bus.
Senior Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Calif
Posts: 1,007
Hey Moose I like the name of the club! I have, however, lost 7 pounds since the GGD has arrived! That's a good thing!
Shoot, I know we could get a group rate!! No, let's not take the CODIE JET this time, it was much more exciting when that red-head was driving!! Remember? Remember when we got stopped by the highway patrol and they asked Ann for her driver's license? OMG, I thought I would die when she said, "why don't you guys get your act together? First, you take away my license, then you ask to see it!" HMMMM? Good thing he was confused about that and let us go! LOL
That bus reminded me of a time when Mr. Dev and I were getting on the freeway, (me driving) and I lost control of the car. I went in circles, saw a sign, saw another car, saw the side of the freeway, back to the sign, and then ended up on top of the slope where all the roses were planted.
OMG, Mr. Dev got out and looked at the car, and said "nicea joba Mamma, no scratch on the car!" He took it down from the hill and I said "guess we should report this?" Instead, I didn't and drove away. Few minutes down the road I decided if I got stopped I would deny ripping up the roses.
When I got home, I looked at the front of the car and it was covered with roses!! OMG, what if I had been stopped and denied doing it? What could I have said, "I was in the rose parade?" LOL
Shoot, no wonder the kid is bad, look at the mamma! LOL
Hugs, Devastated
Shoot, I know we could get a group rate!! No, let's not take the CODIE JET this time, it was much more exciting when that red-head was driving!! Remember? Remember when we got stopped by the highway patrol and they asked Ann for her driver's license? OMG, I thought I would die when she said, "why don't you guys get your act together? First, you take away my license, then you ask to see it!" HMMMM? Good thing he was confused about that and let us go! LOL
That bus reminded me of a time when Mr. Dev and I were getting on the freeway, (me driving) and I lost control of the car. I went in circles, saw a sign, saw another car, saw the side of the freeway, back to the sign, and then ended up on top of the slope where all the roses were planted.
OMG, Mr. Dev got out and looked at the car, and said "nicea joba Mamma, no scratch on the car!" He took it down from the hill and I said "guess we should report this?" Instead, I didn't and drove away. Few minutes down the road I decided if I got stopped I would deny ripping up the roses.
When I got home, I looked at the front of the car and it was covered with roses!! OMG, what if I had been stopped and denied doing it? What could I have said, "I was in the rose parade?" LOL
Shoot, no wonder the kid is bad, look at the mamma! LOL
Hugs, Devastated
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