Notices

Told my mom to let me be, kindly

Old 05-19-2010, 12:31 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Tealvertigo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Told my mom to let me be, kindly

Hey,

I have a problem that goes back way further than my addiction to stimulants. I am also an addict of shopping, and will spend money compulsively to relieve stress or tension, because such gives me a high-type feeling for a short amount of time.

My mom, a while ago, intervened and asked to take control of my paychecks and act as a payee. Well, it's not helping, and I find myself lying to her about me using my credit card, and I see her suffering through it.

So, I told her that my problem is my problem, and that I love her too much for her to continue suffering because I have a problem. I told her that I will not get any better with her trying to prevent my spending, because I have her to fall back on, and not myself. I asked her to let me take control of my money and find a payee that is not related to me and can help me.

I just don't want to hurt her anymore, and it hurts me to see her suffer because I have an addiction.

Did I make the right choice?
Tealvertigo is offline  
Old 05-19-2010, 01:06 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Have you been to NA? I am an alcoholic and also a drug addict. Whils't I find AA more relevant to my situation, I also enjoyed NA meetings.

Only you can say if you made the right choice. To Thine Ownself Be True.
NEOMARXIST is offline  
Old 05-19-2010, 01:59 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Heathen
 
smacked's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
I think when we make other people that care about us responsible in any way for our addiction.. it's horrendously damaging and selfish. In that sense, yes, I think you made the right choice.

What are you doing to address YOUR addictions, yourself? What support do you have? What are your plans? We can't do this thing alone, you know..
smacked is offline  
Old 05-19-2010, 06:24 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lowcountry
Posts: 2,762
Teal

I agree with Smacked, .....burdening , not only your Mom, but anyone is , actually, not taking responsibility. It's like having someone holding your dope , and wanting (( and depending on )) them to dole it out to you in a financially manageable way.

Please take a serious look at what's really going on. Reaching out for help, like posting here, ....is a great choice.

Your clean time means a lot, ....and I'm confident you can find the tools to deal with the temporary high of unmanageable spending and practice them in a very personal way.

Stay strong

Last edited by topspin; 05-19-2010 at 06:25 PM. Reason: sp?
topspin is offline  
Old 05-19-2010, 08:07 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
6/20/08
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Yes, you did the right thing.

By mom being responsible for your $$ she is in essence responsible for you. The only one responsible for you, should be you.

Welcome to SR. Please keep reading and posting!
coffeenut is offline  
Old 05-19-2010, 09:48 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kmber2010's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,058
We need support in our lives but we and only we can make the decision to make change. I remember a friend having a "mini" intervention by coming to my house a few years back and tossing every bit of booze in the house. She dragged me out (I was passing out drunk) to a diner for coffee. I was pretty upset about it and the next day....I stocked up on my booze. Thing she didn't know was that I don't suck up any drop of alcohol around. I have certain things I drink and I would find the money and means to buy what I wanted.

I got sober......alone with plenty of money to buy more booze etc. because I couldn't live that life anymore.

Doing the right thing. Your Mom should seek help for herself. It is horrible how our addictions affects those who love us but until we want to change our lives there isn't much they can do for us.
Kmber2010 is offline  
Old 05-22-2010, 01:49 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Tealvertigo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 144
Hi everyone, thanks for your replies.

Regarding my money situation, I talked about ti with my mom and she does not want to let me take control of my money. I am not sure how to further argue about this with her, but I told her what I wanted to do and she declined. So, I hope I can do something about this- if so, could you guys help me out on how I can tackle this?

Thanks
Tealvertigo is offline  
Old 05-22-2010, 02:00 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Taking5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
How did this actually get implemented? With a court order?
Taking5 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 11:06 PM.