ChangeGonnaCome

Hi Everyone,

Just felt like I needed to vent a bit. The direction of this post will be all over the place, so thanks in advance for taking time to read it. I've been off the weed for 7 days shy of 5 months. I've been nicotine free for 19 days past 4 years. I was hoping that getting off the weed would help the food intake (kill the munchies) and help me initiate a healthier diet, get more exercise, etc. since I wouldn't be mindlessly sitting around toking anymore. However, in the midst of these changes, my work schedule got changed from 9am-5pm to 3pm-1am and later. I started college for the first time ever after being out of school for 25 years - mananged to make A's in the two classes I took. Miracles do happen. :o) My husband has suffered a 10% pay cut, my step-son is college bound in a couple months, step-daughter in 2 years, their mother doesn't help financially and is only mom when it suits her, they live with us full-time, which I'm very thankful for and have been so blessed to have them in my life. I worry and stress over finances, my body can't get adjusted to this new work schedule, my family and social life is nearly non-existant except for maybe one week a month, if I'm lucky, when I go to work, they are at work and school, when I get home, they are all in bed. I am struggling with my emotions, my moods, my willpower, and my sanity. I eat when I get home late at night because I usually don't have time to eat at work (I'm a residential mentor at a vocational residential rehab - we don't have a traditional "lunch hour" during my 10 hour shift). I cut out soda intake, I eat many more fruits, nuts, and veggies as snacks instead of chips, candy, etc., but I still gain weight. r I also got a call from the doc today that my hormone levels are low and we'll be meeting Monday to talk about what needs to happen to fix that. I don't know what to expect, but I hope maybe it will help the moods, the depression, the motivation, and the mind balance. I am having a rough time trying to sort out the challenges to be able to better manage them and get my mind back in a healthy place. I don't have weed to smoke, nor the desire to call to get any, and I have no desire to buy cigs. I do have some chocolate - and thinking of eating it makes me feel like I'm sneaking in a fix. I think I'll fix a hot cup of tea and stick around here and read a while until my mind can shut down for the night. Send me prayers and peaceful vibes if you would please. Much appreciated. Peace and hugs.

NewBeginning010

Sounds like you are doing quite well change. I have been trying to eat a few small meals a day (they say five is about right). You dont need an hour to eat, just a couple of minutes to have a tuna/chicken wrap with some lettuce/ tomato or whatever you like.

Of course it would be nice if you could go for a nice walk during your lunch break.

Take Care,

NB

ChangeGonnaCome

You're right about not needing an hour to eat. We just have to grab and growl whenever the opportunity presents itself. I pack a healthy lunch and take snack size bags of pecans, walnuts, almonds, some fruit, etc. to grab in between. I miss not having the time to take that walk you mention, sit under a tree to read, or do something just for me for a few moments. My sleep pattern with this schedule change is so totally off that it takes me until 4am or later to fall asleep, so by the time I wake up, it's time to get ready to go back to work. I feel like I'm stuck in the twighlight zone or something. It's a good paying job with great benefits and I love the work I do, so for now, seeking something else would only cause more stress and financial burden. Thanks for your response and your time.

vegibean

CGC - I RELATE TO YOU SOOOOOOOOO MUCH!!!!!! First of all I try to look at challenges like a game, who's going to win? Me, or the challenge? And I just do it. It has been rare that I have faced things in my life over the past few years of sobriety and failed, I have passed and conquered my friend, YES!!!!!!!!!

Your schedule sounds a lot like mine, although I just went from the weird hours and back to mon-fri, 9-5. What do I do? I accept what I have and deal with it. If it's not what I want then I start putting changes into action. The reason why I'm working 9-5 again is because while I worked at my other job, attended school, and then with my 10 year old in tow and his homework and all that other "mom" stuff, I also kept throwing my resume' out there, and eventually I got what I wanted.

It may seem a little rough, but when things get like that for me, I'll have this little conversation with myself, "well, now is the time to work even harder, step it up, and make it happen. Eye on the prize!!!!!"

I also see you're early in your recovery so please, please, please take care of yourself, give yourself a break too, and remember to pat yourself on the back for all your hard work. Be your biggest cheerleader, I do that with myself as well.

Good luck!! I don't know if that helped at all, but that's my share.