boo

Remember last night how I was musing about maybe A will hit his bottom yada, yada...?

Well, he just left me a voicemail and he is going into a hospital tomorrow. I guess this is what it's all about, huh?

phoenix

just think...if youwere married you could share responsibility for the bills

Run for the hills Boo...and don't look back.

hugs

phoenix

Sarah2003

I've been reading your story, Boo, and I ditto Phoenix....Run for the hills...as fast as you can. I've been married to an active/sober/active/sober/active/sober A for 20 years. We have three beautiful children together, and for that blessing alone, I have no regret. What I do regret, however, is allowing this insane illness to affect my thoughts, feelings, actions, behaviors. I regret the lies I told myself and others to justify his actions. Finally, I saw the light and knocked him off the pedestal that I had built for him. I now value ME....not the perfect couple/perfect family image that I worked myself to exhaustion in creating.

My husband has hit many~~what I thought were~~rock bottoms.

You are young, strong and brave. Alcoholism is a PROGRESSIVE illness. I strongly recommend a book called Safe People, by Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend.

Take care of yourself, Boo. Before I married my husband, my family and friends were all telling me, in a loving and caring way, to run for the hills. I didn't listen. I don't beat myself up for that, but, like so many other married women on this forum, I'm married just one day at a time. And, not because of my deep love for him. I made this choice for the sake of our children. He knows this, and is not happy about it. He wants me to be in a romantic, passionate love with him. He is sober and active in recovery now. I want that too, but so far, it ain't happening. I love and care for him as the father of our children.

I'm sorry for blabbing on like this. If you were my daughter, Boo, I would not want this kind of life for you.

Take care of yourself,

Sarah

journeygal

Hi Boo,

Please listen to what Sarah said...I don't think any of us would wish this life on anyone.

Just so you don't get your hopes up, I know of MANY A's, my own father included, who ended up in the hospital on several occasions, and immediately picked up or drank again right after being released. It's not always the bottom you would think it should be...

Boo, please let this man go. Not only is he an A, he's a jerk. I think he's manipulating and using you. You deserve so much better.

spedteach

I have to agree....I've been married for 7 years to an active/sober/active/sober/active/sober/active A who is only 32 years old now...as am I. We have a beautiful 4 year old son and the older he gets, the less I can take of my As behavior. Will I stay married forever? I don't know, but I do know that the last straw doesn't seem to be buried so deeply know! Also for me, I had no clue that this would have happened to me..I didn't suspect a problem until I was pg with our son...if I had, I'm not so sure I'd be married now.
As a sped teacher, I see how messd up kids can be because of their parents and having an addict as a parent, I do not want my son to end up with problems because of his dad's problems!

I'll ditto what you've heard: Head for the Hills!!!

Sped teach