Acceptance...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Acceptance...
Fundamental to recovery from alcoholism, is this thing called acceptance. So what does it mean to me?
Well I guess talking directly in relation to drinking, it means that I totally accept that I am an alcoholic. Thus my primary objective ultimately has to be to make sure that I never take that first drink. This seems such a daunting prospect and one that seems totally impossible to the newcomer. I remember a few years ago accepting defeat, as I thought it was simply an unachievable task for somebody in there 20's, to say I ain't never going to drink alcohol again. I thought how ridiculous a prospect that was, especially for somebody who liked alcohol more than anybody else ie- an alcoholic.
However I discovered that as long as I accepted that I will not drink alcohol 'just for today' then suddenly it became much less of a daunting prospect and ironically somewhat empowering. Ultimately I know what my baseline task is each day. All of the other stuff stems from this daily commitment.
It means accepting that my life's priority has to be my recovery. Because ultimately without my recovery/sobriety then I don't have a life anyway. I chose to get off the merry-go-round whils't I still had something to get off for. I was already losing a lot very quickly. I could see that if I didn't accept my alcoholism then I would be destined to die very young as a tortured low level street alcoholic, with a good heart, but who just lost too much of his life to be able to get out and see the point in recovering.
Beyond the physical act of not drinking is where acceptance is also so important. This is where actual recovery starts as opposed to just being dry. This means concepts such as accepting that you are not the most important thing on this earth. Accepting that others have 'a right to be wrong'. Taking a step back and promptly apologising and accepting that you were wrong. Even if you were right then sometimes agreeing to disagree is the most appropriate course of action. Afterall are you just massaging your own ego by always 'winning' anyway?
Accepting Life on Life's terms. This means getting difficult experiences/feelings/emotions and accepting them as being part of life. It is simply something that as a human being you have to 'feel'. Accepting that you can't keep running away from your 'issues' and instead have to be brave and face them and 'work' on them to try to resolve the situations. This is indeed difficult, especially because many alcoholics often have underlying psychological/emotional 'issues', but it is so rewarding when you can work through your problems and come out of the other side with pride and dignity.
Acceptance is also so crucial because other joys of recovery such as gratitude stem from acceptance. Gratitute and acceptance are so closely related. From this acceptance comes gratitute and from there can come harmony, peace and serenity.
The one thing that I don't really need to accept however, is that the peace, serenity and clarity that I get in my recovery, is far more rewarding and contented than the fleeting buzz of alcohol and drugs.
Grateful to be sober. Grateful to be a recovering alcoholic.
Peace and Love x
Well I guess talking directly in relation to drinking, it means that I totally accept that I am an alcoholic. Thus my primary objective ultimately has to be to make sure that I never take that first drink. This seems such a daunting prospect and one that seems totally impossible to the newcomer. I remember a few years ago accepting defeat, as I thought it was simply an unachievable task for somebody in there 20's, to say I ain't never going to drink alcohol again. I thought how ridiculous a prospect that was, especially for somebody who liked alcohol more than anybody else ie- an alcoholic.
However I discovered that as long as I accepted that I will not drink alcohol 'just for today' then suddenly it became much less of a daunting prospect and ironically somewhat empowering. Ultimately I know what my baseline task is each day. All of the other stuff stems from this daily commitment.
It means accepting that my life's priority has to be my recovery. Because ultimately without my recovery/sobriety then I don't have a life anyway. I chose to get off the merry-go-round whils't I still had something to get off for. I was already losing a lot very quickly. I could see that if I didn't accept my alcoholism then I would be destined to die very young as a tortured low level street alcoholic, with a good heart, but who just lost too much of his life to be able to get out and see the point in recovering.
Beyond the physical act of not drinking is where acceptance is also so important. This is where actual recovery starts as opposed to just being dry. This means concepts such as accepting that you are not the most important thing on this earth. Accepting that others have 'a right to be wrong'. Taking a step back and promptly apologising and accepting that you were wrong. Even if you were right then sometimes agreeing to disagree is the most appropriate course of action. Afterall are you just massaging your own ego by always 'winning' anyway?
Accepting Life on Life's terms. This means getting difficult experiences/feelings/emotions and accepting them as being part of life. It is simply something that as a human being you have to 'feel'. Accepting that you can't keep running away from your 'issues' and instead have to be brave and face them and 'work' on them to try to resolve the situations. This is indeed difficult, especially because many alcoholics often have underlying psychological/emotional 'issues', but it is so rewarding when you can work through your problems and come out of the other side with pride and dignity.
Acceptance is also so crucial because other joys of recovery such as gratitude stem from acceptance. Gratitute and acceptance are so closely related. From this acceptance comes gratitute and from there can come harmony, peace and serenity.
The one thing that I don't really need to accept however, is that the peace, serenity and clarity that I get in my recovery, is far more rewarding and contented than the fleeting buzz of alcohol and drugs.
Grateful to be sober. Grateful to be a recovering alcoholic.
Peace and Love x
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
for twenty years I was obsessed with controlling my drinking.
I finally let that go in 07 and finally accepted that I am an alcoholic and that alcohol has no place in my life if I want to be free happy and at peace.
The last three years have been the best ever.
Thanks Neo
D
I finally let that go in 07 and finally accepted that I am an alcoholic and that alcohol has no place in my life if I want to be free happy and at peace.
The last three years have been the best ever.
Thanks Neo
D
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 114
Wow this was a great post man. I have been going through some times wondering what each of these things mean to me, and I totally agree with what you have said. I couldnt agree with you more that the peace, serenity and clarity from sobriety rule over drinking. Thanks for the motivating post-it really helped my day out.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Accepting I was an alcoholic was something I did for a long time before I got sober. I knew I was a drunk, but dang....I wasn't 'that' bad....right?
Once I got sober, acceptance took the form of what my life would revert to if I even take on sip of alcohol. I accept that.....in fact I embrace it.
Love your threads, Neo. Lots of good stuff in here.
Once I got sober, acceptance took the form of what my life would revert to if I even take on sip of alcohol. I accept that.....in fact I embrace it.
Love your threads, Neo. Lots of good stuff in here.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Brussels (from Ireland)
Posts: 221
[QUOTE=NEOMARXIST;2601513]
Accepting Life on Life's terms. This means getting difficult experiences/feelings/emotions and accepting them as being part of life. It is simply something that as a human being you have to 'feel'. Accepting that you can't keep running away from your 'issues' and instead have to be brave and face them and 'work' on them to try to resolve the situations. This is indeed difficult, especially because many alcoholics often have underlying psychological/emotional 'issues', but it is so rewarding when you can work through your problems and come out of the other side with pride and dignity.
A very very powerful post Neomarxist... The paragraph above is just going round in my head now as I've always been locking away/blotting out my emotions and not dealing with issues and situations too and I guess the alcohol just helped me forget them or made me feel better about them.. I know I still have a lot to deal with and I've found myself being quite emotional over the last few weeks which is really not like me - crying over small things and believe me I very rarely cry!!!
Thank you so much for opening up to us and for such a wonderful post which has really triggered something in me which I hadn't really considered - even after 100 days sober...
Big hugs,
Almath
Accepting Life on Life's terms. This means getting difficult experiences/feelings/emotions and accepting them as being part of life. It is simply something that as a human being you have to 'feel'. Accepting that you can't keep running away from your 'issues' and instead have to be brave and face them and 'work' on them to try to resolve the situations. This is indeed difficult, especially because many alcoholics often have underlying psychological/emotional 'issues', but it is so rewarding when you can work through your problems and come out of the other side with pride and dignity.
A very very powerful post Neomarxist... The paragraph above is just going round in my head now as I've always been locking away/blotting out my emotions and not dealing with issues and situations too and I guess the alcohol just helped me forget them or made me feel better about them.. I know I still have a lot to deal with and I've found myself being quite emotional over the last few weeks which is really not like me - crying over small things and believe me I very rarely cry!!!
Thank you so much for opening up to us and for such a wonderful post which has really triggered something in me which I hadn't really considered - even after 100 days sober...
Big hugs,
Almath
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