ChunkyLoverYYZ

... my family, friends and ME:
Many of us are ignorant as to what an addict goes through. We ask ourselves and each other, "Why would they do that to themselves, their family and friends? Why don't they just stop?!"

Well, my wife has been in a recovery centre now for 5 weeks now, and has another 2 months of sober transitional living to go. Over the past several weeks/months, I have learned so much about addiction.

To all of you that have felt disrespected, unheard and dismissed by others judging you based on your condition alone, for my part in it, I hope you can accept my apologies. I get it now. Or at least, I'm trying to.

Keep fighting and use all resources available to you.

artsoul

That's very gracious of you CL - Thank you. It's true that the alcoholic/addict suffers from their disease and wouldn't wish it on anyone. It's a miserable life until it leads to sobriety. It's also true that everyone who loves an addicted person suffers a great deal too. Your wife is a lucky woman to have you for support! Thanks again for the post.:day6

Grace2

Your wife is a very lucky lady and I hope everything works out for you both.

It is my first day today and I am ashamed at how I have hurt my family.

Anna

The shame and guilt that I felt about the years I was drinking was huge, and in fact, stopped me from being able to take care of myself for a long time.

Your wife is truly blessed to have you on her side.

pinkgurl87

Glad your wife getting help. Thanks for your kind words. Glad you are learning more about addiction.

Dee74

Prayers out for you and your wife

D

Hevyn

Chunky, that is so appreciated. I only wish I had family who were as compassionate. I'm sure you've been put through alot of heavy drama - but it sounds like you will make it through this. I agree, your wife is fortunate to have you in her life.

Stang

Ditto
Non addicted people do not understand. I didn't understand until alcoholism got its hooks into me. I use to say " just quit drinking ya damned drunk".....what goes around comes around!
I still believe strongly that the addict is fully responsible for his condition and recovery. I just now see that I am no better than those I ridiculed.

coffeenut

Understanding that an addict actually feels that their life is hell, is huge. Your wife is fortunate.

ChunkyLoverYYZ

Thanks all for the kind words back.

While I am trying to be hopeful for the future, there is certainly a lot of anger and resentment in me. It's not all sunshine and kittens. ;-)

I think part of the problem is, I used to be angry at her "for doing this to us". Now that I understand a bit better, I'm not angry at her... I just don't know who to be angry at. I don't want that to become toxic in our relationship when my wife gets back, so Al-Anon it is. I need to address the anger head on, deal with it, get it out and be able to leave the past in the past.

Cheers all... stay strong.