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It's Complicated...all right!

Old 05-15-2010, 05:05 PM
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It's Complicated...all right!

So, I rented "It's Complicated" last night. I thought a light romantic comedy would be perfect for my single Friday night.

Well...I have to say, it actually ended up pissing me off. I mean, I liked it and the acting and writing was fun. But, let's see here, for those of us gals who are 1. newly sober; 2. newly divorced and 3. not living in a dream home in Carmel or wherever, CA, with a view of the Pacific ocean? It's annoying.

Meryl Streep and her ex Alec Baldwin get absolutely smashed at a bar, end up in bed together. Ha ha! Every time she gets together with her fun, sympathetic gal pals, they drink lots and lots of wine, toasting each other and popping corks every five minutes.

Then when she finally goes on a date with Steve Martin, she's high from a joint her ex gave her, and the two of them have a hilarious, fun high together, ending in her bakery making chocolate croissants.

There is so much wine in this movie, and so much dysfunction, and yet this beautiful blonde happy family manages to smile through all the tears...blah blah blah.

Why didn't Meryl Streep drunkenly trip over something and split her lip? Why didn't Alec Baldwin get so angry that he smashed her back car windshield? Oh wait...those things happened to me and my ex. Sorry! No Hollywood scripts in this blonde's life. Just me, many nights of crying, many mornings of puffy eyes.

And so I was pissed off that I don't get to sit around with my gal pals anymore popping corks and getting tipsy and telling all. That looked like fun.
But I know, I know...it was just a movie. And sobriety is, actually, complicated.

Tonight my son and I are going to watch "Big" - because Tom Hanks always makes me smile and I know for a fact that in this movie he chooses reality, in the end, instead of some farfetched wish that isn't right for him.

Soph
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Old 05-15-2010, 05:19 PM
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Like you say its only fiction.. movies what ever...but never loose your dreems
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Old 05-15-2010, 05:39 PM
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If you think that's a load of BS think about beer and liquor advertisements. Remember the cigarette companies raked over the coals about "false and misleading advertising"? How about the fast food industry today being grilled? Oh but not alcohol!
In beer comercials everyone is good looking, drinking moderately, healthy, and having the time of their lives:rotfxko Liquor adds make drinking look so sauve.
They never show a bloated alcoholic, drunk driving carnage, divorce, hangovers, someone with DTs....ect.
Alcohol is part of our culture and I have no desire to preach to anyone who drinks. Adults can drink all they want but the double standard is BS.
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Old 05-15-2010, 05:41 PM
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If you want to see the down side of drinking see Crazy Heart.
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Old 05-15-2010, 06:00 PM
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Hey Soph - thanks for the heads up!! I was thinking about buying that movie but there's no way I'm going to even rent it now. I was thinking about the same thing just the other day (how the message is that alcohol is just about fun and relaxation). I think it keeps alot of alcoholics sick - somehow if we just try harder, we can live in that fantasy, too. If only the FDA, or SOMEBODY who has a little power, would start advertising the real statistics (and these are just the tip of the iceberg):

•In the United States, one person is injured in an alcohol-related accident approximately every two minutes.
•Every year, 1,400 American college students between the ages of 18 and 24 die from alcohol-related inadvertent injuries, including motor vehicle accidents.
•About half of state prison inmates and 40% of federal prisoners incarcerated for committing violent crimes in 1997 reported they were under the influence of alcohol or drugs at the time of their offense.
•Every year in the U.S. more than 150,000 college students develop health problem that are alcohol-related.
•The 9.6% of adult alcoholics drink 25% of the alcohol that is consumed by all adult drinkers.
•American youth who start drinking before the of age 15 are four times more likely to become alcoholics than young people who do not drink before the age of 21.
•Alcohol dependence and alcohol abuse cost the United States an estimated $220 billion in 2005. This dollar amount was more than the cost associated with cancer ($196 billion) and obesity ($133 billion).
•In the United States during 2004, 16,694 deaths occurred as a result of alcohol-related motor-vehicle crashes. This amount was approximately 39% of all traffic fatalities. This amounts to one alcohol-related death every 31 minutes.
•The 25.9% of underage drinkers who are alcohol abusers and alcohol dependent drink 47.3% of the alcohol that is consumed by all underage drinkers.
•In 2002, fetal alcohol syndrome and fetal alcohol effects were the leading causes of mental retardation in the United States.
•Every day in the U.S. more than 13,000 children and teens take their first drink.
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Old 05-15-2010, 06:30 PM
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My wife and I went to see It's Complicated.... Yea I noticed all the drinking... My life isn't one of a movie star either...

But...

It gets better, pretty soon that stuff in the movies won't get to you anymore... Heck, I remember getting out of rehab and watching the Dark Night with my son... and just the champaign at the fancy party had me not wanting to watch it... plus I felt so inferior because that was something I wasn't gonna get to do anymore... you know what, I don't care at all now, what was the big deal anyway?

It does get better, I promise.
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Old 05-15-2010, 06:59 PM
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I agree with Mark - it really does get better.
I never noticed the drinking when I was drinking...I'm back to never noticing now

drinking is just something other people do

D
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Old 05-15-2010, 07:08 PM
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HAHA sorry the post isnt funny its just interestingly funny how you were able to point out the differences between the "perfect" life if the movies and their drug and alcohol use is always (just about in the mainstream) glorified, we do live in a mixed up twisted Country.

I can see why you are so pissed, I am on day 7 and we cant buy here in GA on Sunday and thats tomorrow so usually on Sat night I sock up but end up drinking that all and now have a friend that risks a federal offense for me to sell me beer on Sunday, but apart from that my mind totally stopped to think its Saturday, I was so close to heading over to the beer section to stock up and then I remembered I dont drink anymore.

I really need a meeting, today didnt work out, but must go to one tomorrow come Hell or high water. Have been goignt o NA not the best results so far, i am readty to try AA and have a feeling I will have more success as far as support and a sponser there, b/c I am sooo ready to start the steps but have not had lucky getting a sponser at NA.

Good luck making it though watching movines or any tv for the net few weeks!

<3 Dream
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Old 05-15-2010, 08:46 PM
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Thanks Mark and Dee for the HOPE!!!
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Old 05-15-2010, 08:53 PM
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S'okay, my post is kind of meant to be wryly amusing, in a self-depracatory kind of way. I haven't read it, but I like the name of Carrie Fisher's book "Wishful Drinking." That sort of sums up the past 20 years of my drinking and relationships!

My 13 year old and I watched "Big" tonight - it was great to see all those 80's outfits and Tom Hanks so young. The caviar scene is classic. And I wasn't drinking wine...so I will remember the whole night tomorrow when I awake, God willing!

Thanks everyone for making me feel grateful and I am officially out of the pity party mode.

Soph - Day 40

PS Dream, I also need a meeting and tomorrow let's definitely get one in!
Artsoul, thanks for the brutal reminder of why I need to keep going.
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Old 05-15-2010, 08:58 PM
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I watched Casino the other night and remarked to myself that i was amazed i had never been to vegas! I dont know which is worse being a compulsive gambler or being a compulsive gambler that never went to vegas...that seems pretty lame!

But then i thought no its ok cos im an alcoholic too, why would i have gone all the way to vegas when there was a bar with a gambling machine just 10 minutes from my front door...God forbid i would have actually gone anywhere or done anything in those 20 years lol

It's sure good to be sober!! And its true this won't bother you if you recover and if you do serious work on yourself...you will laugh about it though like me with Casino:-)
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Old 05-15-2010, 10:00 PM
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Congratulations on day 40 Soph! To echo what you wrote... Isn't it nice to remember what movie you saw the next morning? I've missed so many that I technically saw. Glad you're feeling better.
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Old 05-15-2010, 10:08 PM
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Its funny you posted this since I wrote something about this movie a few weeks back. I didn't feel the urge to drink just more of the whole....wow....look at all the darn drinking in the movie....lol
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Old 05-16-2010, 09:58 AM
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Originally Posted by Soph View Post
And sobriety is, actually, complicated.
Soph
Nah, it's not really complicated at all. Life in active addiction is complicated. This is simple, albeit not always easy. We complicate the simplest things with our warped thinkers. But it gets better. Hang on...
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