xxkiwihoneyxx

Hi! I just wanted to say a big thanks and hugs to everyone on here and your support over the years It's only through al-anon and this site that I have grown enough to see the situation for how it really is and make better decisions for me and rebuild my self-esteem. I'm so happy now and really feel I have my life back again. The nicest part of not being involved with an alcoholic anymore is the lovely peace that your life has - no more crazy making insanity.

I was in a relationship with an alcoholic and was addicted to him for three years. After we broke up two years ago he still keeps popping up every now and again and begging me to come back. He came over to see me last night, saying he had changed, was so truly in love with me etc etc. But when he arrived, I thought he was acting strangely and I realised he was drunk and trying to hide it! It also came out that he is still drinking as much as ever except now also addicted to prescription painkillers. It also came to light that he has a girlfriend currently living him and actually cheated on me more times than he ever admitted. Oh and he never had any plans to marry me as he had led me to believe, just as soon as he got properly sober. For the first time I saw him with absolute clarity. Yes I still love him and always will. But I also know for sure now I can't fix him and am better without him.

Thank you everyone for helping me get out of this relationship in 2007, 2008 and each time he came back to beg. Thank you for giving me strength and support, it has been a long road!!!!

Summerpeach

This site is a blessing as is al anon.

He can only keep popping up if you let him. No contact is the best gift in the world.
If you just stay total no contact, you won't have to keep using your skills on this ex.

Still seeing him keep that wound always just scabbed and never fully healed.

Soph

Hi Kiwi, I hear you and am so proud of you for your clarity. My XAH and I got divorced in September after being separated and me=obsessive/codependent. Every time I attended Al Anon I felt better, stronger. He got increasingly clingy as I created boundaries for self protection. (Too many nights crying myself to sleep..where is he? why is his cell turned off? why didn't he answer my text? Augh..madness.)

Now we have been divorced 8 months. He is on a vacation. Out of nowhere he texts me:"I never expected anything as wonderful as you to happen to me. Love you xxx"

I almost threw my cell out the car window. WTF?! That text basically said "I am still insane, drinking, drugging, and can't stand that you're well. So I am texting you to make you think of me nicely."

They are so sick - and we are getting well - and I appreciate your post so much. Thanks for spreading your encouragement!

Soph

coffeedrinker

great translation! what clarity you have.

posiesperson

Hi Kiwi,

Wow, congratulations on your clarity and strength!

I'm gearing up for a family event today and have all kinds of feelings coming up around the relationship I ended with my exA almost 2 months ago. Of course, we would have attended this event together if we were still in a relationship... Your story really helped me to re-focus in a moment of vulnerability. There's a part of me that wants to contact my ex, or be contacted. My self-righteous self wants that apology, and then to ride off into the sunset. Ridiculous, I know...but I still have to acknowledge the part that's there.

I appreciate being reminded of the crazy-making...thanks to Soph, too, and Summer, also for those good reminders. Breathing...

posie

Jadmack25

Must remember.....they want to send us crazy as they are....so they feel better.


Must remember.

God bless