Dream2bClean

I just had the thought that b/c it;s the weekend and I am on day 6 and I did so well not drinking all week, that I could try drinking just on the weekends and see how that goes.

When i started typing this i was in a little state of crisis b.c that thought actually scared me and it scared me even more that I actually contemplated the idea for a moment, but now just writing it and thatinng that time I have begun to realise how stupid I was for thinking that, I KNOW FOR DAMN SURE and for a 110% FACT, that does not work for me, I am an alcoholic and I have tried moderation and managing or changing my drinking and my rinking lead me to sitting on the floor of my closet on days on end with a needle sticking out of my arm and I am NEVER losing so much control of myself that I will EVER tdo that again so to keep myself safe from heading back down that road I CAN NOT DRINK.

Besides were having a (a small... just me and my daughter party for our puppys 1 year b-day party tomorrow, sorry and I am sorry I am one of "those" people) but I need to be ab le to drive to the store to bake a cake (thats more for bonding time with my daughter than actually making a cake for the dog (I am NOT one of "those people HAHA but seriously i have a lot to do tomorrow that I can not drink today, I want to feel as good spending time with my aughter, baking with her, and having a party for the puppy as opposed to feeling like crap and needing to fdrink to feel better.

OK I think I am through it now, thanks for being here SR sometimes you are all I need to bring me back to sanity. <3 you all, Dream
ring

coffeenut

Hi! Soooo glad you came to SR!

Breathe....you can do this. And, really....this is the toughest spot. Hang in there....you'll never have to do this again.

Your little girl is so fortunate that her mom wants a sober life. So lucky!

Dream2bClean

Thanks Coffee!

What you wrote emans the world to me. I know what you said to be true but I do need to hearit, especially right now b/c I didnt have a mother that would ever bake a cake nor do anyhting but drink and do her own thing. She was a decent mother, but she just wasnt really there and shes not in my life now and I am not going to let my daughter have that, I am breaking the cycle now as both of my parents were 's (father recovring) and all grandparent A's or depressed and commited suicude) and there in noi way in hell I am letting that happen to my dear daugher nor is she EVER going to see me drunk (again and hopefully at 3 andd 1/2 wont remember i EVER was)

Thank you for what you wrote you mad me feel proud and I really needed that

Thanks, Dream

MariahG

You can do this! Hang in there.. I have 3 children and I want them to have a sober mommy also.. We can do this. I feel for you! ((hugs))

Hevyn

Dream - that's the way this community is supposed to work! You did just the right thing by coming here to talk it out. Be proud of yourself - this is progress.

I always caved in to those thoughts, and never once did I manage to control myself and just have the "few" I intended to. The only way for me is to not touch it - but it took many years to finally get it. You're doing great - well done.

Dee74

I'm glad you posted Dream - thats using SR the right way

D

WakeUp

Hang in there Dream, one moment at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time.