AtlasMcGee

So, I made a volunteer commitment with clean vibes for this years Bonnaroo music festival. Always always a past event of getting wasted, but still having a blast at the shows...etc.

I have 'til the 16th (I think) of this month to cancel my spot--includes free admission, but they take a $250 deposit out of my account on the 16th--in order to insure I fulfill my volunteer obligation.

The problem:

When Bonnaroo strolls into town I will have only been roughly 6 weeks sober. I'm having serious tug-of-war right now & have made a decision to sleep on it, however time is running out. Part of me is saying "don't go, you're doing so good, you've FINALLY committed to the lifestyle change you've been wanting--you were so unhappy!" & the other part of me is saying "you're 23!! The flaming lips will be playing dark side of the moon! Jeff Beck's going to be there! Daryl hall & Chromeo, John Prine, Stevie Wonder!! etc etc..."

yikes yikes

I'd LIKE to think I could go and not drink or abuse any substances.

Any advice is more than welcome. I know no one can make this decision for me, but hey I've come to enjoy ya'lls opinions, shoot

Ghostly

Since you asked...the fact you are doubting whether or not you can go to this and remain sober / drug free should answer this for ya. Skip it.

Lenina

Atlas,

Can you go with a sober friend? It really helps to have a sober companion at social events. Where are you in recovery?

Love,

Lenina

AtlasMcGee

Lenina--I'm still waiting on a response to see if she is going. I haven't many sober friends unfortunately.

I was so close to clicking the cancel button, shouldn't have looked at the line-up again. I'm just trying to not look back & regret anything, on both sides

Thanks again

Lenina

Atlas,

The most important thing is your commitment to sobriety. If you're feeling shaky about it, cancel. There will be other concerts but you may not have another recovery in you.

It seems like having a good time and drinking are still connected in your mind. Having some more sober time before going to these things would be a better idea.

Love,

Lenina

AtlasMcGee

good point

NEOMARXIST

I had to accept that I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. Most other people at those festivals are not. I posted about total acceptance in another post relating to exactly these types of situations. This is why it's so important to totally accept your alcoholism in your 20's. Mate, I had to mourn/grieve this type of stuff last year in early recovery.

I accept that music festivals are no go areas for this alcohol and drug addict. I do not wish to be at a music festival as for me without drugs and booze then I aint going. Simple!!

Maybe in a few years with my soul mate on my arm, or maybe if I'm actually playing at one!!!!! Recovery has given me that oppurtunity again! But certainly not as a spectator.

My life is more important than a music festival. I know I wouldn't drink/drug but I wouldn't want to be around it. Too closely related for me.

I have made sure that my life is dedicated to my recovery. I used to go to music festivals and have a 3 day camping party. Drinking and drugs galore. I had the best times of my life but they are in the past. I'm an alcoholic and drug addict whereas my pals aren't.

Increase The Peace

Dee74

Only you can make the call Atlas.

I can only tell you if it was me? at 6 weeks?
I wouldn't have - couldn't have - not even for Jeff Beck. And I love Jeff Beck (and Stevie W, and the Flaming Lips too.)

I know for me it would have been too overwhelming, too much an invitation to look backwards, engage in some mental dialogue, and probably slip.

That's me.

I do like what Lenina said tho. It makes sense to me.
D

AtlasMcGee

I'd pretty much made up my mind a couple days ago, I reckon I just needed to hear it, be reassured of it. Thank you all so much, I canceled my spot & know it was the right thing to do. I'm not sure I could face around 90,000 people at a festival & be around all that music sober & I'm not sure because I've never done it before. One day one day, but not in 5ish weeks.

Thanks again

SparklingSeven

You've done the right thing and I'm sure you know that. Takes courage to make decisions like that. You should be well proud of yourself.

Nice one!

Stu.

Mark75

Bonaroooooooo!! Freakin' Awesome man... I'm jealous.

You ever hear of the Wharf Rats? Bunch of recovered dead heads, jam band fans, etc... I think they go to all the big festivals and have a presence there. Look for the tent with the yellow balloons.

John Prine. huh? A favorite of mine... I listen to Hill Country Revue that was recorded at the 2004 show, I think... The Mule, Allman Brothers, WSP, SCI...

Take a sober friend with you, hang out with the Wharf Rats (Maybe Mr. West will be there )... Hell, if I could get the time off, I'd come and attend the show with you!!

Mark

Mark75

Sorry, didn't read your last post... When you are ready, there are clean and sober people at the festivals.

Wharf Rats
Phellowship
Gateway
others....

AtlasMcGee

hahaha mark! Yeah I think I'm going to get a day pass when the daily schedule comes out & go with my dad--just don't think going alone or with my buddies (unless a sober one is going) would cut the cake for me for 3 1/2 days of shows & 2 days of volunteering

Mark75

Do some googling on this... wharf rats, phellowship, festivals, yellow balloons... you may be in for a pleasant surprise.... I even saw one mention of 12 step meetings at Bonnarroooooooo!!

I am probably your dad's age... One year I got real close to taking my oldest son... but jobs got in the way

schem9

Good choice Atlas. Plenty of time for concerts etc when you are more comfortable in your new skin.

Dee74

welcome to SR schemy
D

schem9

Thank You!

AtlasMcGee

Soooo, I ended up checking out the sober groups attending Bonnaroo & uncanceled my volunteer spot & had a BLAST at Bonnaroo. I was playing with fire, but before going I talked with my sponsor about the support group there & she felt more comfortable knowing I had a game plan. I didn't break my sobriety--All because of my higher power (began step 3 2 days prior) & the support from other like minded people. Best music festival experience yet & hope to have plenty more. I saw every band on my list except 3 and saw a handful that were not on my list & I am back on here & back in the meetings since being back--just because I survived Bonnaroo doesn't NOT mean I am cured from this at all--not allowing a pink cloud to form...however it is rather white & fluffy

I believe this was really important for me to experience. It brought me a lot closer to my higher power & allowed me to see that I can not only have AS much fun, but MORE fun being sober. Some of my friends (& other people there in general) who still drink & use didn't seem like they were having much fun at all. I also talked to a friend yesterday who was talking about how much fun she had at the flaming lips, but then saying how messed up she was that she could hardly remember it--like her being so messed up that she could hardly remember it proved how good of a time she had. I remember having a similar thought process in the past & now I realize how ridiculous that is.

I love this program. I feel more comfortable & free than I have in a loooong time.

dedubya

dude
that sounds like a great fest. i read most of your replies/posts and glad it was cool. i happen to have met jeff beck and tal wilkenfeld (bass-not sure if she still plays with him) in ny last year and it was cool, very cool (i am a HUGE fan of his) but man you were walking on thin ice....glad you have your crap together and didn't cave!!!!! I wish i was in your situation, I can't seem to string together longer than a few months or so and i am back drinking beer.
I liked this post-
later
dub

artsoul

Atlas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's SO good to see/read ya! And I have to give you major congratulations for not only doing all that sober, but actually enjoying it! You made my day and I'll bet there's alot of drinkers out there that needed to read that yes, you CAN have fun (even at an event like that) without having to be stoned or wasted.

Welcome back!!