Winton

I have been drinking since I was 18, and I'm 37 now. It has been a slow progression to a case of beer every other day. My hangovers suck, and I have lost my energy and interest in my hobbies. I am a physician myself, and am ashamed of what this has become. I have serious anxiety issues that I didn't get until I was 32. I have never had a panic attack unless I was hung over. Feeling alright. I will take it 1 hour at a time. I feel like I will never feel happiness without a drink, but know that is not so. I long for the days when I felt energetic and positive. This makes med school look like cake. Gritting my teeth, but stable

Dee74

Hi Winton

Welcome to SR.
You'll find a lot of support here.

D

Anna

Hi Winton,

Welcome!

There is lots of support here.

artsoul

Hi Winton - Congratulations on making it through day 1. It does get better. It's hard to admit that alcohol has us cornered, especially when we can handle so many other things with ease.

After a few days in withdrawal, the anxiety finally left, so hang in there. You may find that you CAN be happy again - I did!

Lenina

Winton,

Welcome! You'll find a lot of good information and support here. We can and do quit drinking and live peaceful, contented lives! I'm glad you've joined us in recovery.

Love,

Lenina

Winton

I'm feeling relatively good. I feel the need to eat a lot. If my stomach is at all empty it feels like I'm starving. I have no shakes. I have the urge to sleep a lot.

I have been sober before for 7-10 days, and felt great after 3-5 days. I have been reading on other forums where people feel terrible for over 30 days. Even up to a year. Is that possible? I have always thought that detox was chemically around 96 hours.

Lenina

Winton,

Read up on PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome). For me, the worse part was the mental side. I had to get a program to help me learn to live in sobriety. I use a mix of Rational Recovery and AA.

I had to have a profound philosophical shift. I've been sober for over two and half years now. A great deal of it is attitude, I believe.

Love,

Lenina

0sT

Hi Winton, I have also decided to quit drinking. I'm new to this also and I'm writing to make sure this works for me; hopefully writing about your intention to quit will help you give up drink too.

One thing I can totally understand is the feelings of shame you said you had, it is not an easy thing to deal with, but you're still a human being and you can change yourself for the better. If you've been drinking a lot then you're going to need all the help you can get. Don't bully yourself back into drinking.

All the best

porkchopped

Hi Winton,

Grit those teeth!! And welcome. Glad that you joined in.

Pork

littlewheel2

Hi Winton,

I'm a day behind you: still on Day One. Still severely hungover from last night's binge...
I am going to do it right this time. I hope you hang in there with me. Just think of the mornings where you wake up without needing to puke. I want that to be every day. I'm glad you're here: You aren't alone in wanting to change how you are living. Best wishes, lw2.

JimInTexas

Welcome, Winton, and the other new folks in this thread. I have been sober for quite some time, and on this site since February. I mostly lurk, but there are great folks and great information on here.

Winton

One of the worst things about me, is the amount of alcohol I can consume and still be functional. I hear people talking about drinking 8 beers in a night, and feeling terrible. I often drink 24-30 from 4 P.M. to 12 A.M. It was never that much until recently. I wish that 8-10 made me feel like **** so I would stop with that amount. My body's ability to cope with large amounts of alcohol is one of the biggest reasons that my disease has progressed this far. I used to think it was cool in college, now I see it as a weakness.

Winton

One of the worst things about me, is the amount of alcohol I can consume and still be functional. I hear people talking about drinking 8 beers in a night, and feeling terrible. I often drink 24-30 from 4 P.M. to 12 A.M. It was never that much until recently. I wish that 8-10 made me feel like **** so I would stop with that amount. My body's ability to cope with large amounts of alcohol is one of the biggest reasons that my disease has progressed this far. I used to think it was cool in college, now I see it as a weakness.

Lenina

Winton,

I don't know that if the amounts mean as much as the relationship I had with alcohol. I'm a small person, so it didn't take too much. Over time, I did develop a tolerance. But the worse part for me was the relationship, the mental dependency I had.

This is why I needed a plan.

Love,

Lenina

Winton

I'm so mentally addicted it is scary to me. Everything I like to do involved me drinking. Not just me, but everyone around me. I am trying to see myself as a non-drinker, it is hard. So many people drink.

You know what is funny, is that I can drink 1-2 glasses of wine and have no trouble stopping. Give me beer, and I am drinking until I am hammered.

Lenina

Winton,

What was a surprise to me was how little most people drank! I'd see friends of mine drink several glasses of wine or a few beers and claim they'd partied hard!

I mostly drank wine and mostly drank alone. For me, it was always the wine I went back to after an abstinent period. I think some of us do have a poison of choice.

I know today, and understand fully I cannot drink alcohol. If I do, it starts the mental insanity all over again. It's just not worth it.

Love,

Lenina

coffeenut

Welcome to SR. There is a lot of information here.....keep reading and posting.

Winton

Lenina, I can't drink either. I can't control the amounts, which is frustrating, because I used to be able to, and enjoyed getting "toasty" once in a while, but then it changed and began being an addiction. Just can't stop it.

How long have you been sober? How long before your mind starts to be upbeat again? I remember feeling so positive for no reason when I was younger. It seems to have escaped me. As I reflect I see what an important role alcohol played in my life. I scheduled my life around it, and that just upsets me.

pinkgurl87

Congrats on 2 days!!! That is awesome keep up the good work, you can do this!!

Dee74

I think most everyone here will tell you its progressive Winton...I started off as an occasional and no more than a two drink in a sitting drinker...that was my initial strict rule...I ended up an all day everyday drinker 20 years later.

I can see the extremes now - but they were not that apparent to me at the time. I kept moving the goalposts. It's part of the denial factor.

and..give your body and mind a chance to heal - if you're like me you'll have been drinking heavily for years...2 days is a great start, but it is only a start

I wasted a lot of years Winton, but it's never too later to change your life. I'm proud of the meaning my life has now

D