Kmber2010

I am wrapping up Day 28 and closing in on my 30 day mark....whoohooo right? Yes, every day is a mark for me and as I go to bed and wake up I am proof that sobriety is possible.

So one thing rather troublesome after another has been happening along with great things to. My idea of great folks is working again, a vehicle that runs, some $$ in the bank and a bit in savings, a marriage that has been through quite a bit but is the most solid thing in my life......working on starting a family....blah blah. The basics that most have and go......ummm....whats next?

Some of you know that I am had an abnormal mammo, testing for possible breast cancer (still waiting results and next steps), and quite a bit of other things.

Ok......today's new add-on in my quest for sobriety......My hubby tells me when I get home from work he is being deployed next month. WTF is up with timing.

Oh well.....I am not drinking my friends and have some anxiety. This outta be effing awesome alone again in Germany.

I mean really? I know I am having a pity party but I can't help but say....come on God.....please cut me a bit of slack here....

Effing deployment on top of the health thing. Gotta get hubby and I in next week to make sure our wills are up to date, etc.

I had to vent that here.....haven't told anyone about the deployment or the breast cancer scare thing either. Screw them. No one cared if I drank or didn't nor anyone offer help when hubby was stuck in the UK so I will hold my head high now, alone for a while but I really don't need this right now.

Awww man I really don't.

Thanks all for reading if you did. I won't drink but man who wouldn't at the moment. bluuuhhhhhh.

Horselover

(((KIM))) That is a lot to deal with hun. I can't imagine my husband being gone when I was newly sober, BUT you have to ask yourself a couple of things here. Is it better that you stopped drinking before you got the abnormal mammo? (BTW I had that happen last year and it turned out it was nothing, but I freaked quite a bit. Very, very, very often we get abnormal readings on our mammograms.) If you were still drinking you would escalate the 'what ifs' or at least I would have and make yourself sick with worry. As far as your husband being stationed away from you I am glad you are sober for that. Drinking while husbands are away is a common thing for wives to do but dangerous. If something happened then who would know? I would say its a blessing you are sober and dealing with these things as they occur, but having them occur at all is trying.

Lean on SR a lot because there's always someone around this place. You have friends here that can lend an ear or advice. Thank God we have our internet and connections.

Stayinfree

Hey Kim, you really are being tested right now aren't you, and it's a testament to you that you are remaining strong throughout all this, as drinking ain't gonna make any of this better.

I'm sorry things are looking crap for you, but sometimes we gotta go through the rough times, to come out the other side, where things will surely be better for you and your hubby....Hoping so anyhow.

Keep your chin up...and vent as much as you need xx

zbear23

Thanks all for reading if you did. I won't drink but man who wouldn't at the moment. bluuuhhhhhh.

Hi Kim, and welcome.
The answer to you question is....apparently YOU wouldn't!! That's a really good thing. Some might call it a "miracle." The real test of my recovery isn't the good times, but the bluuuuhhhhs.

I believe that my recovery depends on my spiritual fitness, and that means that it's not about comfort, but character. I need to always remember that the one thing that is guaranteed to make any situation worse....is picking up a drink.

This can be a valuable opportunity for you to not let outside circumstances control your behavior...to practice your principles in all your affairs...to empower yourself!. And I wonder where you'd be right now if you weren't sober? Might be a real mess, huh?

I hope you stay close, remembering that you aren't alone if you don't want to be.

blessings
zenbear

porkchopped

To say what you are going through sucks is probably an understatement. You are doing the right thing expressing your feelings! Take comfort in positive support here - something you could never get from a bottle. Keep sharing! I have told the folks here more than I have my "best" friends.. the irony is not lost on me . I wish you the best as you work through this tough time. Stay strong!

Dee74

I'm sorry Kim.
I dunno why it is but some of us get tested to the max in early sobriety...I know I did, but I got through - I know you can too

Like Sarah said, no matter what else goes on, the SR gang is always here, so vent away

D

Soph

Good for you that you vented Kim! That was an important step to take. Don't isolate in your pity party, go ahead and invite people! We feel for ya. A lot is going on in your life, and you are sober, and will be able to feel your feelings now, instead of making everything worse by trying to drown them in alcohol, and then waking up feeling even worse. Yuck.

Every day that you stay sober, you are stronger and healthier. Ask your HP for help and guidance. You are a beloved child of God. You are sober! So take it easy. One day at a time.

Love,
Soph

Anna

Hi Kim,

I am sorry for your worries about mammo exam and I hope things come back alright.

I was a military wife for 22 years and I know exactly how you feel. There were many times when I was alone, no family anywhere nearby and it was hard to have close friends when the moves would come every two years. I definitely learned how to depend on myself, but I know it's not easy. Please know that there is always someone here and you can come online anytime and read and post.