Ala-teen?

Old 05-13-2010, 08:49 AM
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Ala-teen?

Hello.

Wanted to get some ESH on a situation. Thanks in advance.

My daughter will be 10 in less than a month. Is she too young for Ala-teen? The reason I'm considering Ala-teen for her is because of my illness (alcoholic) and also her biological father is an active alcoholic/addict.

Her father is in jail . . . again. He's been in and out of jails and prisons since she was born. Alcohol/drug related offenses.

I think my daughter could use the help of Ala-teen or some other type of support group right now. I'm sort of at a loss for what to do to help her process this illness, especially with her dad back in jail. She's getting older now, and every time he goes back to jail or prison, it's hard on her.

Any suggestions?
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:01 AM
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the younger you go, the less there is available. but ala-tot does exist.

the ala-teen meeting i co-sponsor has a 10-year-old at it. she's a contributor, too!

just make contact and find out where there is a meeting that will welcome her.

and....good for you.
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:27 AM
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My daughter has been going to alanon meetings with me since she was five. We did not have a local alateen meeting until recently. Now at 15, she's been attending alateen for the last two years. She has grown up in the program. The poise, self-confidence and maturity is amazing. I recommend for any child and as early as you can get them there.
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:43 AM
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Thank you.

There is an Ala-teen meeting tonight and I think I will take her. Should I sit in the meeting with her? There is an AA meeting at the same time and just right down the hall.
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Old 05-13-2010, 10:48 AM
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Pagey -

I was in Alateen when I was 10! Really! They didn't usually let kids that young in, of course this was in the 80's.

My step-dad was getting sober and leaving us home with mom who still drank. It was ugly. They let us in because of that circumstance. They said they usually don't.

It was totally over my head. I think we went for two or three months and I don't remember anything helpful. Really. :-( I'm thinking that maybe today they have changed a bit? Maybe a little more friendlier to younger ones? Or, darn... Kids seem smarter these days a lot younger. There were no other kids there our age. They were all high schoolers.
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Old 05-13-2010, 11:28 AM
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I'm no expert here, but I tend to think that as a 10 year old child of alcoholic parents, your DD probably has more than just an inkling about what's going on and could definitely benefit from at least reading some Al-Ateen literature.

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Old 05-13-2010, 04:37 PM
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Okay Pagey, you sent me on a tale-spin over this one! Why didn't I get anything out of Alateen at 10????

I thunk I got it: The meetings were held just like AA meetings. They used big words, they did the readings of the steps yadda, yadda, I didn't understand anything. Nobody explained it to me either. Had there been someone who would have sat with me, say 15 minutes after the meeting to draw me out and answer just a couple questions, it probably would have made all the difference. But since my Step-dad was in the AA meeting, I had nobody to discuss the meeting with afterwards.

But, I was really, really, really shy. - Someone would have had to take the time to get me to open up and ask questions.

I've spoken at youth centers and the younger kids are great! It's more of a relaxed atmosphere. After my story - They raise hands to ask questions! It's so cute. :-) I think that's how kids work best - Being able to ask questions. But in AA it's considered cross talk. Maybe they've since bent the cross talk rules for kids in Alateen.

Okay, all done! ;-)
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Old 05-13-2010, 06:01 PM
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I called a friend in Alanon today and explained the situation. She said it would be fine to bring my daughter, only they were not having an Alateen meet tonight because the leader was out for some reason.

I do plan on taking her in the next few weeks. There's one meeting a week here, but I'll be out of town next week.

Ali--I went to my first AA meeting when I was 14 years old. Didn't understand a thing. So, it's not surprising to me that you were bewildered.
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