Hi All!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Devon
Posts: 4
Hi All!
Hi, I am 37 year old Male from the UK. I have been drinking since I was 14. It has cost me two marriages, my two little boys now live 250 miles away and I lost a very successsful business i took 8 years to build and became bankrupt. All of this I have blamed over the years on other factors/people to my friends and family, I hid it well.
But I know the truth is alcohol. I drink everyday. I don't drink in the day, but I start at 7pm and am always drunk before I go to sleep. I am an atheist and this won't change so God is not the answer.
I have a lovely partner, and another good business now we live on a farm, I have lots of cats, a lovely garden and 3 sheep. I have a nice car and to those looking from the outside all is well.....
I still drink. No one tells me not to and I like to. But I know where this will lead. I will lose my partner, I will lose my work. I want to get off this turning wheel of my life now before its too late.
I have tried before (7 months sober).
It does scare me.
My friends don't know and I don't want them to.
HELP!
please.
But I know the truth is alcohol. I drink everyday. I don't drink in the day, but I start at 7pm and am always drunk before I go to sleep. I am an atheist and this won't change so God is not the answer.
I have a lovely partner, and another good business now we live on a farm, I have lots of cats, a lovely garden and 3 sheep. I have a nice car and to those looking from the outside all is well.....
I still drink. No one tells me not to and I like to. But I know where this will lead. I will lose my partner, I will lose my work. I want to get off this turning wheel of my life now before its too late.
I have tried before (7 months sober).
It does scare me.
My friends don't know and I don't want them to.
HELP!
please.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Hi mate. Greetings from England!!
Have you truly accepted that you're an alcoholic? The only way for me was to gain total acceptance that I'm an alcoholic and that one drink is too many and 10000 never enough.
Untill I came to that conclusion then I would be stuck on that depressing merry-go-round.
SR is a great site and has really helped me in my recovery from alcoholism.
Have you truly accepted that you're an alcoholic? The only way for me was to gain total acceptance that I'm an alcoholic and that one drink is too many and 10000 never enough.
Untill I came to that conclusion then I would be stuck on that depressing merry-go-round.
SR is a great site and has really helped me in my recovery from alcoholism.
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
That's a great start then mate. From there the 'recovery' really starts. SR is a great recovery resource. So if you keep reading, posting and relating then you will be making progress. Remember sobriety is underpinned by not taking that first drink 'just for today'. Also try to keep your thinking rooted firmly in the present day if you can. It stops your mind from 'priojecting' into the future.
Just try to take sobriety 'one day at a time'. You will hear lots of key messages/ideas as you read about recovery. Remember to keep an open mind and to be willing to do what is necessary to stay away from that first drink. Once the first drink is taken then really you are just back to square one again.
It is fantastic ''on the other side'' mate! I am 10 months sober and I have hope and optimism about life and my future. Recovery from alcoholism has given my life a new meaning and purpose. Without my alcoholism then I would not be on the path that I'm on now. I truly love the path that I'm now taking.
I can say that I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. That may sound strange... but in time then maybe you'l be able to empathise with that statement too!!
All The Best mate, Peace.
Just try to take sobriety 'one day at a time'. You will hear lots of key messages/ideas as you read about recovery. Remember to keep an open mind and to be willing to do what is necessary to stay away from that first drink. Once the first drink is taken then really you are just back to square one again.
It is fantastic ''on the other side'' mate! I am 10 months sober and I have hope and optimism about life and my future. Recovery from alcoholism has given my life a new meaning and purpose. Without my alcoholism then I would not be on the path that I'm on now. I truly love the path that I'm now taking.
I can say that I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. That may sound strange... but in time then maybe you'l be able to empathise with that statement too!!
All The Best mate, Peace.
Idiot!
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 556
Hi Photoboy and welcome.
I am 42 and like you have lost a lot - a business, a couple of houses, my 2 boys live miles away from me and I don't see them. I know from speaking to others that it only gets worse as well. I like that old saying that you've reached the bottom when you stop digging. You've just got to decide when you want to get off the crazy merry-go-round and step off - with no illusions that you can ever get back on - even for a little while.
Like Neo says, really admitting you are an alkie - not just saying it but really meaning it in your bones is the key. From then there's only one way to go.
I would be lying if I said it was easy for me. I have had periods of sobriety in the past but drunk again - I was always coming up with some cunning plan as to how I could do it with safety
lot of shite lol. Once I gave up on it though, things became a lot clearer. And there is a certain calm pleasure at not having that fevered ape on your back all through the day, going to bed with a clear conscience and waking up without that sick feeling of impending calamity.
And lots of folks don't believe in "God" so don't worry about that. Just take each day as it comes without alcohol and it will all fall into place.
Good place this so keep coming back!
Stu.
I am 42 and like you have lost a lot - a business, a couple of houses, my 2 boys live miles away from me and I don't see them. I know from speaking to others that it only gets worse as well. I like that old saying that you've reached the bottom when you stop digging. You've just got to decide when you want to get off the crazy merry-go-round and step off - with no illusions that you can ever get back on - even for a little while.
Like Neo says, really admitting you are an alkie - not just saying it but really meaning it in your bones is the key. From then there's only one way to go.
I would be lying if I said it was easy for me. I have had periods of sobriety in the past but drunk again - I was always coming up with some cunning plan as to how I could do it with safety
lot of shite lol. Once I gave up on it though, things became a lot clearer. And there is a certain calm pleasure at not having that fevered ape on your back all through the day, going to bed with a clear conscience and waking up without that sick feeling of impending calamity.And lots of folks don't believe in "God" so don't worry about that. Just take each day as it comes without alcohol and it will all fall into place.
Good place this so keep coming back!
Stu.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Devon
Posts: 4
Thank you so much, I guess I want to do this finally. I accepted I was an alcoholic years ago and my wife at the time knew it as did the previous one. My current partner hasn't twigged yet, nor have my friends so I want to keep it that way and want to thank my new friends on here in advance for helping me do this. I have so much to live for, why does alcohol want to play such a big part in my life?
Its really good to hear you guys and your success stories. keep up the good work guys and thanks again!
Its really good to hear you guys and your success stories. keep up the good work guys and thanks again!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,469
Originally Posted by photoboy72 
why does alcohol want to play such a big part in my life?
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Welcome Photoboy and it looks like you have gotten really good advice so far.
Posts like yours make me wonder at times what made this time stick for me. Finding SR and admitting I was an alcoholic and in desperate need of help spurred it on. Asking for help and advice and actually applying it to my life also helped, but mostly it was surrendering to the fact that I could NOT ever drink alcohol again. I just couldn't do it. I was so tired of the whole viscous lifestyle it offered. I struggled for many years to redefine my relationship with it until I found this forum and discovered people weren't just sober, but they were HAPPY sober. Profound to me! How could one be happy and be sober? Kept reading and kept on not drinking and finally found it.
Alcohol lied. It never made me happy. It made me depressed, anxious, and short tempered. It was a friend that I couldn't wait to cut ties with. You will find it. I'm sure of it.
Posts like yours make me wonder at times what made this time stick for me. Finding SR and admitting I was an alcoholic and in desperate need of help spurred it on. Asking for help and advice and actually applying it to my life also helped, but mostly it was surrendering to the fact that I could NOT ever drink alcohol again. I just couldn't do it. I was so tired of the whole viscous lifestyle it offered. I struggled for many years to redefine my relationship with it until I found this forum and discovered people weren't just sober, but they were HAPPY sober. Profound to me! How could one be happy and be sober? Kept reading and kept on not drinking and finally found it.
Alcohol lied. It never made me happy. It made me depressed, anxious, and short tempered. It was a friend that I couldn't wait to cut ties with. You will find it. I'm sure of it.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
Hi photoboy
I know what it's like to look at your life and think you'll lose everything again. I did lose everything again.
It's a good move to come here.
Whats your plan?
D
I know what it's like to look at your life and think you'll lose everything again. I did lose everything again.
It's a good move to come here.
Whats your plan?
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-13-2010 at 04:01 PM.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Hi Photoboy - I knew I was an alcoholic, too, but what I really wanted was a way to drink reasonably, and without consequences. It took a while for me to realize I was living in a fantasy and there was no way I would be able to control it, ever. That's when I found SR and it's really helping me.
I'm glad you decided to reach out for help. It's almost impossible for us to do it alone. But the good news is that if you want sobriety bad enough, you can have it!! Welcome to SR, by the way.
I'm glad you decided to reach out for help. It's almost impossible for us to do it alone. But the good news is that if you want sobriety bad enough, you can have it!! Welcome to SR, by the way.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Devon
Posts: 4
Thank you all so much I am touched. It is so good to know I am not alone. The "one day at a time" really does make sense, the big picture looks daunting but one day is achievable, and then another and another!
You are all good strong people and you inspire me, so thank you again.
So the plan....One day at a time!
I didn't relish the thought of sitting in a local village hall in a circle talking about it, and I don't have a god to turn to so it seems my new friends on SR might just be the ticket
You are all good strong people and you inspire me, so thank you again.
So the plan....One day at a time!
I didn't relish the thought of sitting in a local village hall in a circle talking about it, and I don't have a god to turn to so it seems my new friends on SR might just be the ticket
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