divao23

hi u guys i really would like to have some online friedns going throught the same things i am so i am gonna give u guys my contact info. on aim i am divao23 and on msn i am divasamo instant message me or whisper me anytime. i enjoy talk all the time and my computer is always on to have a conversation with anyone.that sis along as ur not being rude. that is not allowed with me.well things with and my husband are well. he assures me that his drinking is going to change and he admits that he has some type of problem. he isnt sure exactly if it is he abuses alcohol use or if he is an alcoholic. but he knows he doesnt want his son to see him that way like he saw his father. he has gone out with his friends in a while but he knows he is gonna go one time or another.the times when i really have to worry about him is when he goes on cruises(that is when his naval ship leaves for a short period of time).they drink themselfs stupid, and do some of the dumbiest things that could get them killed.so he told me he has to start sayin no but it is hard when he knows that he is being stationed to another place soonand may never see these guys again. but he says he is gonna try hard. and he is thinking of us more so that helps. i am gonna let god do his work and fix this and i am gonna sit back and let my husband make his mistakes so that he can learn from them. i have faith he will make it through this because he is the type when he sets him mind to it he goes through with it. he even plans on not smokin any more.so until july he has alot to prove before i pack up anything to go with him. i thnk u guys for helping me out in ways u never knew u did. i read ur threads and i see how strong u guys are and i know that i can be a strong as u. so thank u all but get in touch whenever. if u need a friends if u need someone to cry wit h u , it really doesnt matter. im here for u like u were for me.:kisshug: :kisshug: ttfn ta ta for now.

DarkGravity

Hey there Diva-

I'm actually on the other end (heroine addict, 8 months sober).
As far as your hubby not knowing if he is an alcoholic or just abuses alcohol, well, there may be a difference, but all in all, both mean he has a problem with alcohol and needs to find help and support to get clean. It seems like you aren't too wrapped up i his world, which is great. You can't change what he decides to do, so you'v got to focus on yourself!
As far as him going out to sea with drinking buddies, that's a hard one. I've hard of so many navymen with this problem, just because problems with alcohol seem rampant for them! I can understand that , I guess, being out at see with not much to do but drink, and nowhere to go to escape the alcohol. If he is serious about wanting to stay sober, he needs to plan some stuff he can do while his buds drink. It's probably better for him not to be with them during drinking time, because that's pretty much asking for failure (some can, but most can't resist the temptation!) He should bring some of his fav books or music, if allowed, and chill somewhere where he can have some alone time. May I suggest a book on alcoholism, it will not only get him from the alcohol, but he'll learn about the disease and give him inspiration to stay clean! If yor hubby hasn't detoxed yet, I suggest he gets supervised help, since detoxing can be dangerous. If you really can't get him into an in-patient program, you need to read up on detoxing and keep your eyes wide open for any of the dangerous symptoms.

Good luck and please take care of yourself!!

divao23

thanks pass he isnt that bad that he cant stop. he just knows something is wrong with the way he drinks when he does but thanks for tellin what u did. it is very informative.and i will look for that if that is the route he is going to go. i think the first step he is going to try to rule out is a rinking moderation course offered by the navy since he doesnt go out much anymore he just stays at home and plays playstation 2. lol ive been through someone stopping there drinking and im not sure that it works out the same way it does with drugs. it is possible for a alcoholic to just stop drinking and wallk awy from it with no problem. ive read up on it a lil. but i will look to see if i find anything about what u said. cause it is better to be prepared than to wait until it happens. so thank u very much in helping us in our struggle to get him on the right path. be it in moderation or with soberity. may god bless u.
and here is a quote for u on ur path.

"courage is fear that has said it prayers"--dorothy bernard