Giving support

Old 05-12-2010, 04:48 AM
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Giving support

First I want to thank everyone who takes the time and energy to read and post. I think it amazing that despite what one is going through in their lives that they take the time out to reach out to others.

Hiving said that, I want to address something I encounter here. When I post it seems that people and this may be the problem with the cyber world vs 1-1, want to give advice or opinions (and sometimes that is what is asked for) instead of support.

The past few days I have had a major setback emotionally, affecting my mental attitude and even my spiritual stamina. I am alone. I am a strong person and have overcome much in my life - alone. But it does not mean that there are times when I need to hear things like: " it will be ok", "things will work out", "you will feel better than this soon", "you can do this"," this is just a bump in the road moment"

Validation of my feelings and thoughts for the moment - I want to rant about my husband's behavior or disagreeable decisions - but I am more likely to be hurt and sad -I am so past the anger stage - so I am more likely to express mixed feelings about him. I tend to isolate and withdraw and I am trying very hard here to stay connected to people. Everyone here has been through it all - you all know what is like - to validate the insanity of things. I know the facts, the logical reasoning, the beliefs, etc - but emotions are a real part of being human.

And I also want to remind everyone that we are not all making the same choices about our relationships. We come here at different points in our path and I may make a different one than others today or a different one tomorrow - but I think it is important to be where people are in their posts with encouragement.

I don't get that in my daily life. That is part of what I am looking for here and I hope what I give to others.

Again thank you.
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Old 05-12-2010, 04:59 AM
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Yes, emotions can tear us apart. I have sometimes been so moody, being angry, bewildered, depressed and bawling my eyes out almost at the same time. The turbulence, like being tossed around by huge waves on a beach, not knowing if I am upside down or right side up.

Ok, it may not last that long, but it is very unpleasant at the time, and Grrrrrr to anyone who minimises the effect it has on me. I do know it will pass, it always has done...but the right now is where I am, and damn it all, it is not a nice place to be.

I hope I haven't added to anyone's pain, let alone yours.

God bless
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Old 05-12-2010, 05:59 AM
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Old 05-12-2010, 07:54 AM
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Kassie,

No judgments here about where you are in your process. I, being a codie, like to "help" and that's not always "helpful". For me, experience and opinions expressed here are "support" because I can take what I want and leave the rest. It sounds like what you are asking for is encouragement in the way that you hear it best... So in all honesty I am now a bit hesitant to respond to your post because I'm not really sure what you're asking for (maybe I'm dense) and don't wish to offend, so I simply want to say that I understand that you're feeling vulnerable and I absolutely respect that.

We all have our process. Thanks for sharing yours, and wishing you peace as you work through those intense emotions and decide what is best for you. You're doing great work!

Hugs,
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Old 05-12-2010, 08:54 AM
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When I share something on someone else's thread, it is precisely because something that they have shared resonates with what I feel or have felt in the past. That is the ultimate validation, IMO. I also make the assumption that when someone shares here, they are looking for experiences of others who have been where they are, and how they got through it. Possibly a wrong assumption on my part, but take what you like and leave the rest. My intent is to share how I have been there, done that, and the work I did to get where I am now.

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