priceyjunk

Well, its 36 days since my last drink. still hanging on, just?
I've been getting cravings alot more now, compared to the 1st 2 weeks. I no longer think that they are as a result of being physically dependant, but just reflect my addict brain.

I've used a variety of strategies to cope with cravings, quite successfully, especially timing them and realising that they don't really last long. Thanksfull i don't get more than 1 a day. They are starting to become more irritating than intimidating.

I've also used other strategies for when they become really strong, like treating myself to an unhealthy snack instead. Recently, i think I've been doing that abit more often. Even though I've resisted a minor craving, I find myself rewarding myself, with a candy bar, an extra cookie, that extra slice of pizza etc... Its not the only think i do of course. I have made some major lifestyle changes like getting more sleep, eating breakfast, getting exercise etc.
I havent put on any weight, but i'm begginnig to worry if such behaviour just helps to keep my addict brain and behaviours alive. Am i in danger of getting too used to giving myself rewards? and will this affect my recovery in the long term? I wonder if i should start trying to nip this in the bud now.

any thoughts anyone?

Kmber2010

Pricey I was up to about 3 months when I had this sudden urge to drink. I felt I could handle it and as I reflect, I believe it was that "I let my guard down" to this thing called alcohol. In the beginning, I think all of us just focus non stop on it so we are aware of it and we keep ourselves sane. Somewheres a bit later we start living life and we kinda open up a bit. Complacency? Hmmmm.....I know now that recovery is so much more then just quitting and being clean. It is about living our lives and how we look at ourselves and those around us.....past and present.

I'm far from knowledgeable like so many here and in the world who have been sober for years successfully and I am sure many will offer key advice.

What keeps me grounded is not dwelling on my sobriety but making it my number 1 priority and not forgetting. SR is now part of my life. I check in when I am home and well it kinda replaced my ***** or facebook if you will.

I have found that offering my input and sharing with others and listening to others experience is essential in my recovery. My counseling and self reflection has helped me tremendously with the life style changes.

Oh yes.....my life itself is night and day from when I was a hard core, don't care about anything, alcho. I don't have the problematic ex in my life, I am back teaching, have a partner who cares and who accepts me for me, and I tossed the facade I was living away. I am honest with myself now and I am moving forward in understanding decisions that I made and looking at the good things I have done in my life. I have also learned that I can not help everyone and sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to let them go.

I always think of how you can lead a horse to water but you can't make them drink.....well I also believe firmly that if we can't help ourselves then we can't help anyone else.

I personally don't stress about rewarding or that sort of thing. I take it one day at a time and slowly each day get a bit more understanding of this thing called recovery. Focus on staying sober and if you aren't in AA or another program then think maybe of looking into it.

My recovery is lifelong and I know that each day I am sober then I have a clear mind and body to try to new things and to explore myself more.

Right now what I am doing is working for me. I may change up to something different but to be the best person I can be is my focus.

Stay steady and keep on going. You are on the right track so don't sweat the little things.

All the best!!

Dee74

I think those mental impulses are still pretty common after 30 days, pricey. They were for me.

We drank for years right? it takes a little longer than a month to turn that around.

I think for now the focus should be on not drinking....but ultimately do watch the junk food though - I'm still dealing with bad eating habits I picked up in early recovery.

It's not as bad as drinking, sure, but it's still not good.

There are healthy yummy things out there to eat - I'm told LOL

D

Toronto68

Pricey, I think you should give yourself more credit, even though the critical eye on the urges is good. One suggestion is to shceudle yourself certain days that you allow yourself the rewards, or maybe "no rewards" this weekm, but next week, you get to have them. Whatever you think your conscience and sense of health should do. I also think you should admire the time that has passed without drinking. Just look at the calendar or the Sobertime thing at the top of the site or in a journal. I had a crummy piece of paper with my date I stopped written on it, I took a look at that several times. If you don't have people around you that can help with this confidence building, then it would make sense to me to baby yourself a little bit with things like this. I'm not ashamed of it, I did it.

DayTrader

There's a section in the big book that speaks to this directly - p25.

There is a solution. Almost none of us liked the self-searching, the leveling of our pride, the confessions of shortcomings which the process requires for its successful consummation. But we saw that it really worked in others, and we had come to believe in the hopelessness and futility of life as we had been living it. When, therefore, we were approached by those in whom the problem had been solved, there was nothing left for us but to pick up the simple kit of spiritual tools laid at our fee. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed.
The great fact is just this, and nothing less: That we have had deep and effective spiritual experiences which have revolutionized our whole attitude toward life........


In other words; the tricks, strategies, and schemes are not going to work long-term. If you're an alcoholic, your experience should tell you that you drank in SPITE of valid reasons not to. If I were you, I wouldn't put much faith into anything other than what Bill wrote about and millions have used to success: working the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, getting a connection with God, and allowing that God of your understanding to do what you are not able to do - namely --- remove the obsession to drink.

yeahgr8

If i wanted long term sobriety i knew i had to change and after 20 years of trying to change myself i kind of knew i couldn't do that alone so went to AA...i make that sound like i just woke up one morning and thought hey lets go to AA but it was out of desperation and i was not going to last much longer...they had the solution and i followed what they said and i changed!

I know exactly what you mean, the treats and constant finding ways to try and manage the mental obsession...i compare it to someone sliding down a slope of gravel grabbing on at anything to hold onto and slow the descent.

A friend of mine went to a psychologist, as a young man he had been having panic attacks and the psychologist touched on this and asked do you get panic attacks anymore...he answered no...psychologist said, what never...he said nope i never get them because as soon as they come i know how to make them go, i slow down and take some breaths and think of a scenic view...the psychologist made a tick on his sheet and said ok so you are still getting panic attacks then...

I love that story because it brings home the truth about all the rationalisation, self delusion and basic denial that we live with and this doesn't magically go when getting sober, it does take some work as it is out natural reaction, we used it to survive and maybe to be able to function in society...now that story can be seen as a triumph, no? Maybe a less expereienced psychologist would have said well thats great, you have won over your panic attacks...no he hasn't he has just avoided tackling the problem that is causing the panic attacks and inevitably at some point that problem will manifest in other parts of his life...

This is why in the rooms we see people who have many years of sobriety who haven't worked the steps and haven't had a spiritual awakening (drastic personality change) and their lives are just as unmaneagable as when they were drinking...sometimes even more so...and you can only keep patching over that crack for so long before patching won't work anymore...

Hope that helps a little? Could have summarised that in bite the bullet and go to AA and get a sponsor and work the steps and get a spiritual awakening and get recovered...and yes i know you dont want to do any of that, i didnt either until i had no other choice!