Dream2bClean

K, yeah so I went to the NA meeting Ii planned on going to tonight. It moved locations and I knew no one there, but I love it, b/c its candlelight , super dark so no one can see me still going through my WD's and fidgiting and jerking and feeling like everyone there is looking or talking or laughing about me.

The group was a lot more closer to my age group which was really nice, pretty much all my age and a few a little older. As usual though no females approached me after the meeting except for one older nice gentleman and then brought me over to a couple great older (not too much older though which is nice) II am sorry to keep referring to age b.c I know it doesnt matter we are all addicts but I think 6 years ago when I really didnt do well at NA and is why I have progressed this far and landed up in this situation is b.c I didnt talk to epople my own age (or at least close enought to it) to understand me a little better. I do know addicction to narcs and alcohol knows no age though but this time I really want to succees so I am going to try to do the things that didnt work last time and do better and thats one of them.

I got my first 2 #'s and for sure know that will be my monday night meeting and maybe home group as like I said I really liked the candle light open discussion, age groups and the VERY close proximity to my home b.c if it werent so close with my husbands schedule I would no have made it as I ran in right at the start. Finny thing is for those who have been followingg my story it was at the tiny church in the strip mall that my friends son and daughter and law met us at after church on Sunday for lunch (who dont use) and invited me so I see a lot of God working there

The 2 woman gave me theor #'s so I have my first 2 numbers and this time I am going o use them. At least call them everyday until they get sick of me and inttroduce me to more people (or at least point me in the right direction) so I can meet more people and not call them so much Thats the plan.

They also told me of a datime meeting (since I told them I wasnt working) by my home that is a daily meeting at the SAME location at the same time 9noon) everyday of the week. So I am going to make that a definate part of my meeting schedule and then still try to hit the night one at well somewhere else. I really like the stability of the same location as right not wtill WD'ing I have a ton of anxiety and chasing the meetings, not being sure where I am going, seegin all the new faces, and then being scare people are judging me or wont talk to me is addition aniety I can help myselg alleviate if I go to the steady noon meeting and then do another at night until I find a job.

Hopefully I got the one I interviewed for today, I pray, but right now i am leaving things to God and going to accept the fact that if this job isnt irght for my recovery, even though it seems perfect for me, that He has a better plan for me

Thank you all as usual for your support and encouragement when it comes to NA b/c something tells me to keep going back that it is the right thing that with NA, finding a church, and using SR like crazy I will find my way in life and become the person god wants me to be, which is just a MUCH better version of the person I am now.

Thank you all, I really thank you for everything this past week from the bottom of my heart, which I noticed in the meeting is still nump, someone cried and I didnt care I just cared about myself and if I used to hear someone else cry I would feel something instead of the nothing I felt today.

I know I have to share or nothing it going to happen there but I am so scared to tell my story b.c it is so bad, nothing I am sure they never heard before.

all and any advice regarding this or myseelf is always appreciated opinions and all. (2nd Na meeting Successfull!!!) <3 Dreams

Anna

I am glad that it went well for you.

Dream2bClean

TY Anna,

I really needed that (and all of the continued support here at SR for my success) & it was good to hear from you specifically and helps to hear I have all of this support here from all of the SR community too!

I<3 this place!!!!

<3 Dreams

Dee74

I'm glad today was better Dream

D

ANGELINA243

Glad to hear your meeting went well and that you did get some phone numbers. Reaching out is very important. You don't have to go through this alone. We do recover.

pinkgurl87

That's awesome!! I'm glad you had a good meeting.

Dream2bClean

It was giid you guys I know its going to be a ong road but I feel some fight in me although I also feel like I have just have had my ass kicked b.c my back hurts soooo darn bad but I will make it and yes we do, and I WILL, RECOVER <3 Dreams (of making it through day 4 tomorrow!)

NewBeginning010

Great to hear Dream :day6 its ok to be a lil selfish at first till you get settled in, your patience, tolerance, understanding and love will soon follow.

Keep up the great work & keep us updated.

Take Care,

NB

Dream2bClean

NewB's,

What do you mean specifically when you said its OK to be a little selfish at first until i get settled in. Can you give me specifics? I probably NEED to get a little more selfish, I dont have much confidence and am VERY shy at meetings, so if you can tell me how to be selfish, ill do it, but Im not sure what you mean?
Let me know I REALLY appreciate it!
<3 Dreams (to selfishness HA!)

NewBeginning010

Sorry I wasn't clear (wouldn't be the first time ;-) I read a certain section where you mentioned only caring about yourself when someone was upset (I underlined below).

Dont worry too much about what to say, just start with an introduction if asked to share... if you want to tell a little about how you are feeling about the meetings or recovery so far or anything for that matter... go for it. As you have probably already heard.. people share all sorts of stuff.

Have a good night

P.S. Its also ok to put your recovery above & before a lot of things in your life right now (taking it easy on a weekend and taking care of yourself & your recovery instead of doing what others want/ask you to do '-)

augustwest

Awesome! Congrats! Keep coming back.