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We are so strong!!!!

Old 05-08-2010, 04:13 PM
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We are so strong!!!!

I know exactly what I am. I am a recovering alcoholic. I am also a drug addict too.

This gives me such strength and clarity. For who else in society knows exactly what they are? What they must do each day and crucially what they mustn't do each day?

I am so grateful that I know that I'm an alcoholic. I feel for people who are still struggling coming to terms and not accepting their alcoholism and still 'dipping their toes' with the first drinks.

I am so pleased that I know with absolute certainty where alcohol would take me, and quickly too. For I have been at that jumping off place and just thought I don't care if I never wake up from this binge, just as long as I'm drunk. Only to wake and feel such hoplessness and sorrow. Another drink the only escape.

I guess my recovery is working well as being around other drinkers in bars on a Saturday night makes me feel so grateful that I'm not still a part of that. But most of them aren't alcoholics and could never possibly understand what it means that one drink would literally destroy my life. I find alcohol and drugs something which I want absolutely no part of in my life. I have too much to offer than to vomit it all away in a toilet and sniff it up my nose.

I am so grateful that I don't have to be waking up not remembering how the hell I got home and full of panic, wory and paranoia when I wake up in the morning. I am glad that I won't be drinking super-strength at 7.30 am and bumping into neighbours buying a paper, looking at me like the drunk that I was.

I was ashamed to be a drunk but I'm not ashamed to be a recovering alcoholic anymore. For I am living a life to the best of my ability 'one day at a time', on lifes terms and not a chemicals.

Thanks for being there for me SR.

Peace x
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Old 05-08-2010, 04:32 PM
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All I can say is AMEN

I'm so inspired, truly, by your post. Thank you, Neo, and congratulations on 10 months!!
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Old 05-08-2010, 04:47 PM
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yes indeed its a good feeling..to have natural peace of mind..and ease about living on lifes terms,..without being controlled by a ruthless monster of addiction..that robs the true worth out of living..and forces you into the merrygoround of drink/drug dependancy,
to be in control mentally with good health, and no longer the slave of compulsive irrational crazy mental strife...that is alcoholism,addiction, is the only way to be, allowing the sensitivity back in..and no longer being thrust along with extremitys of emotions...that are pretty much out of control....sanity at last..Result...
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Old 05-08-2010, 04:56 PM
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Well said!

I remember the looks from the neighbours when I'd be stumbling up the road with a bag of cans. Ugh. Thinking "whats THEIR problem".
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Old 05-08-2010, 05:36 PM
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Originally Posted by NEOMARXIST View Post
I was ashamed to be a drunk but I'm not ashamed to be a recovering alcoholic anymore. For I am living a life to the best of my ability 'one day at a time', on lifes terms and not a chemicals.
Thank you for this very insightful and interesting perspective. It's funny how we try to hide that we are recovering alcoholics, particularly when people ask why we don't drink. You're right, there is no shame in being a recovering alcoholic. We have only truly accepted that we are alcoholics when we can fully admit to anyone what we are without making excuses.

Congratulations on your sober time, Neo!
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Old 05-08-2010, 08:26 PM
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Originally Posted by Ronan View Post
Well said!

I remember the looks from the neighbours when I'd be stumbling up the road with a bag of cans. Ugh. Thinking "whats THEIR problem".

I remember walking my lab down the sidewalk so drunk I could barely stand up. Good God I must have looked like an ass! My whole living room and kitchen floors were covered with Budweiser cans.....****** sick!
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Old 05-08-2010, 08:33 PM
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This one deserves Post of the Year. Nicely put, NEO. There is a spiritual richness to this process, that offsets the pain of it. The one thing I really like about recovering alcholics and addicts is they live in an honest place. That's becoming a scarce commodity these days, in our world as it is.

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Old 05-09-2010, 03:59 AM
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Another great thing about being a recovering alcoholic, rather than a drunk, is that when you go out for a curry as I did last night, wearing a new £32 shirt, then you wake up the next day with a shirt with not one stain down it!! It may seem trivial but the little things like that really make a difference.

My clothes used to be a disgusting mess after a night out back when I was drinking. Particularly when trying to eat curry and naan bread whilst intoxicated as I always was when going out for a curry.

I am just feeling so grateful today for putting the drink and drugs down ten months ago. Whilst it isn't always easy it most definately is worth it! When you were happy to accept an imminent death, just as long as you were drunk, then anything is a bonus! It just happens that anything is a new freedom and direction in life that was only created by my alcoholism.

Increase The Peace
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Old 05-09-2010, 04:08 AM
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Well said! I think of the amount of energy hiding my drinking from others and worrying so much about it that it was a freaking job in itself.

I am totally not ashamed that I am in recovery. Hell, I almost said to the wine demonstrators at the shopette if they kept up with sampling the booze that I was in recovery and I don't drinking is conducive to a recovering alcoholic. Now that brought a chuckle to my face....LOLOL.

It's pretty pathetic come to think of it that you go on a military base to buy some milk or chips and they are doing booze demos. Hmmmm....considering the problem the miilitary already has with alcoholics....geez.

Oh well. I just love the fact I wake up feeling great, no regrets, no worries and knowing that everything I do is done sober.

Thanks for posting Neo Got me to smile on that!!
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Old 05-09-2010, 05:59 AM
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I almost think you could have a one-question are-you-an-alcoholic test: "Do you have a problem with bottle/can buildup?" I'd bet that non-alcoholics NEVER have that problem. I have struggled with it for years. lol Sometimes it was as if I thought they would disappear if I stuffed them under the bed or in the back of the closets. This kind of weird magical thinking is part of the insanity, I'm sure.
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Old 05-09-2010, 06:34 AM
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The hope, happiness and Peace in your posts is Awesome! You are getting stronger every, single day!

And, I do agree...why do we find it difficult to say we are recovering, but didn't have a problem making an ass of ourselves on a daily basis?
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Old 05-09-2010, 11:28 AM
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Right on Neo I had a great night out with a friend for dinner & coffee in a cool local shop afterwords.

I bought some new roller-blades with the money I have been saving due to not drinking. So instead of lying around the house in a hungover mess I am going to be out roller blading the seawall by the ocean today. I cant wait!

Sobriety Rules!



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Old 05-09-2010, 12:00 PM
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Neo
Your post got me thinking about the holistic value of sobriety. It's gradually dawned on me that the strength of giving up drinking is not only in the feelgood factor or the number of days you've been sober, but that the minute you stop, it establishes an axis for change in which all the windows of your life suddenly open and fresh air comes rushing in. It's been something of a revelation to me how many positive things have happened to me in the short time I've been sober. New events, new friends, new thoughts... a new, positive commitment to a healthy spirit ... the other side of the half-life of alcoholism. Yes, sobriety makes us strong, it makes our lives strong.
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Old 05-09-2010, 12:12 PM
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WOW Newbeginning, those pictures are stunning! You would definitely have to be sober to manage those curves. I shudder to imagine someone rollerblading drunk by that sea wall!

Thanks for the post Neo...sadly for me that even sober, I still manage to dribble at times, probably due to general flakiness more than anything. Oh well at least now I can identify whatever the heck is on my shirt :-)

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