Blackout
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 12
Blackout
So, I've had my battles with alcohol - after successfully drinking in moderation (3 drink max) for about a few months, I relapsed and got blackout drunk. I don't really recall taking a taxi home - but I have a receipt for it. I have snap-shot like memories of my evening - mostly of me being a drunk fool.
The next day I felt like garbage. I couldn't eat, sleep, and I was a nervous wreck - my mind racing to try and remember the last hour of my night. Try as I might, I can't remember it, and it's very very scary to me.
I don't know how to get over this crippling fear, I don't know how to come to terms with fact that I will never be able to remember. I've been here 100's of times before. It's two days later, and I still feel terrible.
I've decided to quit drinking again - how do I get over the fear and uncertainty of the blackout experience?
The next day I felt like garbage. I couldn't eat, sleep, and I was a nervous wreck - my mind racing to try and remember the last hour of my night. Try as I might, I can't remember it, and it's very very scary to me.
I don't know how to get over this crippling fear, I don't know how to come to terms with fact that I will never be able to remember. I've been here 100's of times before. It's two days later, and I still feel terrible.
I've decided to quit drinking again - how do I get over the fear and uncertainty of the blackout experience?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Boston, MA (Mattapan) Legit ghetto but I love it
Posts: 174
You can't. At least I can't...
You don't really get over it. I've blacked out more times then I can count. People have had to tell me what I've done and sometimes I never find out. Sometimes I prefer not knowing because I always make a complete ass of myself when I'm blacked out. There are a few times that happened years ago that people *still* won't let me forget about.
I think you just need to remember how it feels when you black out, how it feels when you wake up the next morning and can't remember how the hell you got back to where you are or what the hell happened.
Use that for motivation to quit drinking. I want to believe that it's possible to drink in moderation but if you have an addiction to alcohol it really isn't. 3 drinks will turn into 4 and 4 will turn into 6 and before you know it you'll be going through hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol in a few weeks. Not a fun place to be.
Can't say I have much advice on how to quit but I can tell you the support here is wonderful and the fact that you're reaching out is great. I'm sure other people will come along and be far more helpful than someone who is still struggling with getting sober but I do know you wouldn't be here if you didn't have a desire to stop drinking and the knowledge that what you're doing is unhealthy
You don't really get over it. I've blacked out more times then I can count. People have had to tell me what I've done and sometimes I never find out. Sometimes I prefer not knowing because I always make a complete ass of myself when I'm blacked out. There are a few times that happened years ago that people *still* won't let me forget about.
I think you just need to remember how it feels when you black out, how it feels when you wake up the next morning and can't remember how the hell you got back to where you are or what the hell happened.
Use that for motivation to quit drinking. I want to believe that it's possible to drink in moderation but if you have an addiction to alcohol it really isn't. 3 drinks will turn into 4 and 4 will turn into 6 and before you know it you'll be going through hundreds of dollars worth of alcohol in a few weeks. Not a fun place to be.
Can't say I have much advice on how to quit but I can tell you the support here is wonderful and the fact that you're reaching out is great. I'm sure other people will come along and be far more helpful than someone who is still struggling with getting sober but I do know you wouldn't be here if you didn't have a desire to stop drinking and the knowledge that what you're doing is unhealthy
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
I think just staying sober, one day at a time, will help get rid of fear and anxiety. I'm noticing that the longer I'm sober, the less my anxiety bothers me.
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking before something awful happens.
I'm glad you decided to stop drinking before something awful happens.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,313
welcome back EL.
I think the worst thing we can do with blackouts is..get used to them.
Like Anna said...you can make it so it never happens again...
from my sadly extensive experience, all we can do with the blackouts we've had is draw a line under them and move on...and do our best not to end up there again EL.
D
I think the worst thing we can do with blackouts is..get used to them.
Like Anna said...you can make it so it never happens again...
from my sadly extensive experience, all we can do with the blackouts we've had is draw a line under them and move on...and do our best not to end up there again EL.
D
Guest
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 2,013
Basically by staying sober one day at a time!! The anxiety will lessen over time and make sure that you don;t think it's OK to start drinking again and that you were over dramatising!! Or else you'll be blacking out again!! I found another drink the only 'cure' for my blackout anxiety/paranoia and I feel it's another symptom of the progression of alcoholism in that the anxiety/paranoia of a blackout makes you take another drink untill you then blackout again. Very vicious cycle.
The only way to make sure I never experience a blackout again is by not taking that first drink 'just for today'.
Peace
The only way to make sure I never experience a blackout again is by not taking that first drink 'just for today'.
Peace
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Overseas... on the shore of an uncharted desert isle.
Posts: 254
I think it's a good thing this blackout experience is motivating you to stop drinking. If you've made a resolution to quit drinking for good, then you should be somewhat relieved that you won't have to deal with another one. Maybe that should settle your mind somewhat.
My problem was that blackouts never scared me and I got used to them - although they were mostly partial blackouts. I would also sometimes have to guess how I made it home by the taxi receipt in my pocket. And, sometimes I'd remember or realize I had been to one more bar after discovering the receipt. Often when very hungover, I would be additionally distracted as flashbacks of the night before would slowly come back to me throughout the day. If they had been embarrassing episodes, I'd naturally cringe inside. As a result, most of my day would be unproductive. It wasn't every time I drank, mind you - just about 20% of the time.
And, keep in mind, you were relatively lucky to have woken up in your bed after a blackout ... and not in a jail cell, out in an alley or street or worse...
My problem was that blackouts never scared me and I got used to them - although they were mostly partial blackouts. I would also sometimes have to guess how I made it home by the taxi receipt in my pocket. And, sometimes I'd remember or realize I had been to one more bar after discovering the receipt. Often when very hungover, I would be additionally distracted as flashbacks of the night before would slowly come back to me throughout the day. If they had been embarrassing episodes, I'd naturally cringe inside. As a result, most of my day would be unproductive. It wasn't every time I drank, mind you - just about 20% of the time.
And, keep in mind, you were relatively lucky to have woken up in your bed after a blackout ... and not in a jail cell, out in an alley or street or worse...
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Let that be the fuel to your fire Eternal. Its very scary when we do something like that, but I think that experience should be proof that you should not drink and will do whatever is in your power not to drink. Do you have a recovery plan? Whatever it takes. Don't give up!! We're here for you.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
EL.....good to see you here again....
You were mistaken about moderate drinking
for males....it's 2....not 3....according to the CDC.
I was a blackout drinker....it's risky behavior
and after my blackouts started....they happened
more frequently and lasted longer.
I did keep drinking tho....I had no idea that they
were a symptom of unchecked alcoholism/mid stage.
That info came the book that convinced me to quit
"Under The Influence" by Milam &Ketcham.
It also explained why I continued to drink
after my initial decision to quit.
We have excerpts on a sticky in Alcoholism
I hope you will read the thread....
I do so hope this will be your time for sobriety.
Keep in touch please...we care about how you are.
You were mistaken about moderate drinking
for males....it's 2....not 3....according to the CDC.
I was a blackout drinker....it's risky behavior
and after my blackouts started....they happened
more frequently and lasted longer.
I did keep drinking tho....I had no idea that they
were a symptom of unchecked alcoholism/mid stage.
That info came the book that convinced me to quit
"Under The Influence" by Milam &Ketcham.
It also explained why I continued to drink
after my initial decision to quit.
We have excerpts on a sticky in Alcoholism
I hope you will read the thread....
I do so hope this will be your time for sobriety.
Keep in touch please...we care about how you are.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
Hello EL,
I know what it's like to be be playing the "what if" game - what if I did this, what if I said that, on and on...it's exhausting and yes, does wreak havoc on the nerves.
All good advice about not having to continue doing this.
Glad you reached out and came back. The support is here for the sharing and there's no time like the present.
I know what it's like to be be playing the "what if" game - what if I did this, what if I said that, on and on...it's exhausting and yes, does wreak havoc on the nerves.
All good advice about not having to continue doing this.
Glad you reached out and came back. The support is here for the sharing and there's no time like the present.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
