Today Is All I Have

Well I have lurking around here and this site is amazing. My drinking has progressed to the point where I am so scared I will literally die on a bender. I decided that's it. So I came here and stayed sober with just your help. I don't know exactly what made me say go ahead open the bottle of wine but I know today is a new day and another chance to start over. I will go to the AA meeting and find someone to help me with the steps and just follow their advice. I can do this and will. Thanks all for your posts. I have to save my life.

Bored3

Welcome to SR!

I've been there, we've all been there. I can count the number of times I've thought "oh well I might as well just have one", it doesn't work like that I'm sure you well know. Like you say today is another day and this is an amazing site to read through and share your experiences.

I'm glad you have chosen to save your life, life without alcohol is life with an clean slate.

Enjoy it here!

HumbleBee

Welcome, 925!

You just described to a *T* how I felt when I finally had had enough. You sound determined and have a plan. Good for you.

You're in great company. We're glad you're here. Keep reading and posting.

You can do this.

Soph

Welcome back 925...it's taken me a few attempts as well...the AA meetings have helped me the most - meeting people and listening to their stories. You are doing great! Keep coming back!

Dee74

Welcome 925 girl.

Yeah been there too - it's like '... huh? why did I do that?'

I hope the AA meeting and posting here will help you

You did 28 days so you can do this
D

yeahgr8

You know it took me sooooo long to get to that point, just at that point when you look in the mirror and say ok screw this you dont know whats good for me and im not doing anything you say anymore...finding a sponsor who has a spiritual awkaning and can guide us through the steps...

I started seeing a CBT counselor about 5 weeks before i went to AA, i was still drinking and he said to me have you tried AA...3rd counselor to say that over 20 years!!!!

I met my sponsor and he asked me are you willing to go to any lengths? Do you trust your thinking, are you willing to do whatever i tell you having the Big Book as a reference so you can be sure that i won't ask you to do anything that isnt in it? I said i wouldn't trust me to buy a loaf of bread, just tell me what to do...

Funny part was he said i won't tell you what to do, thinking i might be still a bit stubborn, i will make suggestions...i just said look mate don't give me all that BS, you just tell me what to do and ill do it, ill do anything you say i don't give a **** i just want to get sober...he laughed and we began:-)

It's there for you too!!!!

artsoul

To me, that says it all, 925girl. That's why I'm here, too. I don't know how I found it, but there was a little voice behind all the alcohol-driven chaos that said "I don't want this anymore. I actually want to live." I'm glad we both listened to whatever sanity was left in us and came here. Congratulations on choosing to do this. You deserve the best, you know? Hang in there ODAAT!

BeautifulLife

You sound just like me when I had had enough. What scared me is that more and more, I could no longer guarantee what would happen when I drank. Scared me to death. Every day.

I went to meetings, I was honest when I shared, I cried a lot, I asked for help, I got a sponsor right away and began work on the steps. Just getting "into action" helped me feel like I was keeping "the beast" (that's what I call it) at bay.

I look forward to hearing how things go for you, so keep posting!

Bamboozle

Welcome back, girl.

CarolD

A lot of us had flse starts before we
found solid recovery.....

Welcome back

least

Welcome back!

Hevyn

925girl - it's great you pulled yourself together before it turned into another binge. That proves how much you want to change, and you aren't going to settle for your old life. When I quit I felt the same way - my life was being threatened by my drinking, and I was not ready to check out quite yet.

We're glad you've chosen to share your journey with us. You are going to make it this time.

Horselover

Just wanted to put my welcome to you out there too. As has been said that you did 28 days and so you can really do this thing. Good for you for looking into face to face support as part of your recovery plan. You know what didn't work and so all is not a total loss.

LaVallette

Welcome 925Girl, you already know there's heaps of help on here. But something someone said at a meeting the other night resonated with me: "You don't have to live this way any more." What a wonderful revelation, instead of asking the whys and wherefores of why I did what I was doing, that simple bit of affirmation said so much.

Kmber2010

Welcome back! I also relapsed thinking I could handle it. I am now 3 weeks sober again with the support of SR and have learned an important piece of staying sober. I just can not drink again.

All the best!

Onewithwings

nice to meet you. I relapsed after about a month as well, but I got right back into it, and today makes 3 days. It's not a lot, but each day is an accomplishment!

pinkgurl87

welcome to CR I hope you will get sober and get help.

Today Is All I Have

Guyz and Gals,

I went to a meeting this morn. It was I guess a discussion mtng. reading from a red book AA book (don't recall the title) and the thing was it felt right to be there at the moment. I got a some human support and left lighter today than yesterday. Introduced myself and even made a new friend or two before I left. The girl who approached me was only sober 4 months so I don't know if she can act as a sponser but I will find one there soon I know. I will work this, I am actually looking forward to the next meeting (hey I know I won't feel so enlightened each day) but I know I did FINALLY take the step to really participate, really absorb, really be open etc. Thanks for your words-I'm glad to hear so many say they hit the "final final" knowing they had to save their lives. I want to take this road. No hesitations. Again, Thanks for your kindness.

BeautifulLife

That's great that you enjoyed the meeting today. I LOVE my meetings. And I wouldn't be so sure that you won't be enlightened by each meeting. I seem to grab onto new stuff I'd never heard, never realized, or thought of before at just about every meeting. There's just so much good stuff out there. It sounds like you really want it and that is awesome!

One of the coolest things is meeting newcomers and just being able to relate to them and offer them support, even if you're a newcomer yourself. For me, being of service to someone helps get me out of myself and gives me such a natural high. People were there for me when I came in and I love being there for those that come in now! :ghug3