It's official - I'm stooooooopid - He's been getting SS checks for our SON!!!!!!!
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
It's official - I'm stooooooopid - He's been getting SS checks for our SON!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
I'm gonna have a heart attack!!!!! He's a THEIF! So, not only has he been paying less than what the state says he should pay - But he's been getting SS checks for our son while I'm behind in RENT.
I'm done, stick a fork in me. I contacted the pro bono divorce lawyers and they said get in touch with Child Support so I did. DUH why did I wait. why, why, why!!! Found out about SS today and stopped that. Explained to them what happened and of course because nothing been filed. It doesn't mean squat.
Why would he think this is in any way okay?
I'm gonna have a heart attack!!!!! He's a THEIF! So, not only has he been paying less than what the state says he should pay - But he's been getting SS checks for our son while I'm behind in RENT.
I'm done, stick a fork in me. I contacted the pro bono divorce lawyers and they said get in touch with Child Support so I did. DUH why did I wait. why, why, why!!! Found out about SS today and stopped that. Explained to them what happened and of course because nothing been filed. It doesn't mean squat.
Why would he think this is in any way okay?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Hold the phone there. Redirect your anger at HIM not yourself. How could you know that your son's father is a lying thief who has no morals? There was no "User Guide" stapled to his forehead when you brought him home from the store.
Give yourself a break. You put a stop to the SS checks. That's all that matters!
If it makes you feel any better, since DD was born (she was 14 months old when I left AH), AH had been receiving a few hundred dollars A MONTH for DD and DSS, because here in Quebec, they consider that the parent who has the most biological children should be receiving the financial help. I had no idea and AH wasn't about to tell me that he was getting money for DD and spending it on things for himself. All this time, I kept wondering WHY he had the extra cash to buy clothing, beer, cigarettes, to go out, etc...he just kept telling me that he'd "saved up". HA! And a few weeks after I left, he called me, accused me of doing something to "take money" from him...what happened is I advised the government of my separation, they realized that AH was no longer the custodial parent for DD, and yanked the payments. A few weeks ago, I received 1,800$ in support payment from the government, retroactive from the day I left AH. Heheh ain't life grand?
Give yourself a break. You put a stop to the SS checks. That's all that matters!
If it makes you feel any better, since DD was born (she was 14 months old when I left AH), AH had been receiving a few hundred dollars A MONTH for DD and DSS, because here in Quebec, they consider that the parent who has the most biological children should be receiving the financial help. I had no idea and AH wasn't about to tell me that he was getting money for DD and spending it on things for himself. All this time, I kept wondering WHY he had the extra cash to buy clothing, beer, cigarettes, to go out, etc...he just kept telling me that he'd "saved up". HA! And a few weeks after I left, he called me, accused me of doing something to "take money" from him...what happened is I advised the government of my separation, they realized that AH was no longer the custodial parent for DD, and yanked the payments. A few weeks ago, I received 1,800$ in support payment from the government, retroactive from the day I left AH. Heheh ain't life grand?
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
nodaybut2day it was great reading your post.
Alizerin, an addict will steal from his son, and do worse things if only that would buy a Tequila shot. That is what they do... addiction is in total control, normal rules about Life on Civilized Earth don't matter...
This is good that you were informed and put a stop to it. That is good news! and yes I would think something legal can be done so he gets punished for stealing from the government.
Alizerin, an addict will steal from his son, and do worse things if only that would buy a Tequila shot. That is what they do... addiction is in total control, normal rules about Life on Civilized Earth don't matter...
This is good that you were informed and put a stop to it. That is good news! and yes I would think something legal can be done so he gets punished for stealing from the government.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Well Karma is already going on, he got the first of the consequences which is no longer getting that money, and perhaps more consequences to come on the legal side. Then the best part when he faces HP and has to give this an explanation. Also karmic is the fact he is missing so much of his son's life. I have seen many recovering alcoholic in AA that cry thinking about all they missed, in exchange for meaningless sex, alcohol, etc. Those tears are so bitter I cringe just talking about it.
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
Client intake services are now closed. The state will only help people referred by this one office so, I'll call them tomorrow with:
1.) His suspected drug use - Need him tested
2.) Son's SS money - All a loss?
3.) Legalized no drinking prior to and while having kids contract
Anything else?
He did go into the ER in February, for what - Who knows, if it was a legitimate reason, I'd know, right? He had a follow-up appointment with his old doctor after. Old doctor was told of his addiction when husband originally went to rehab. So, don't think he'd have gotten drugs from him. But, who knows.
I checked for any open court cases for him, nothing there.
1.) His suspected drug use - Need him tested
2.) Son's SS money - All a loss?
3.) Legalized no drinking prior to and while having kids contract
Anything else?
He did go into the ER in February, for what - Who knows, if it was a legitimate reason, I'd know, right? He had a follow-up appointment with his old doctor after. Old doctor was told of his addiction when husband originally went to rehab. So, don't think he'd have gotten drugs from him. But, who knows.
I checked for any open court cases for him, nothing there.
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
I've been fighting these inner demons that insist I continue to stick my head in my @ss.
It's REALLY messed up that it took MONEY to get me to wake up. He's using drugs again. Period. It could have easily been a car accident and my children getting hurt - or worse. I'm sicker than I thought.
It's REALLY messed up that it took MONEY to get me to wake up. He's using drugs again. Period. It could have easily been a car accident and my children getting hurt - or worse. I'm sicker than I thought.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,866
Why are you turning all this around on yourself?? So, you didn't know he was stealing your daughter's SS money...you know now and you put a stop to it. You can't blame yourself for things happening that you don't know about. I think you are being way, WAY too hard on yourself.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Hell hath no fury!!
It will be interesting to see what happens to him once the SS scam gets looked at by the administration. I can't imagine they are just going to let that slide. You're right, it's a separate issue from child support. Give a call to the SSA Fraud Hotline then make your claim for the back payments if your entitled to it.
Karma is a b**ch. Hey, I've been called worse.
Alice
It will be interesting to see what happens to him once the SS scam gets looked at by the administration. I can't imagine they are just going to let that slide. You're right, it's a separate issue from child support. Give a call to the SSA Fraud Hotline then make your claim for the back payments if your entitled to it.
Karma is a b**ch. Hey, I've been called worse.
Alice
Go ask the Multivax
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2,481
His monthly income = $3400
Plus SS = $ 194
His income: $3,594
We've been getting = $550 except this month when I increased it to $650. He got all pissy and said "What am I supposed to live on". Threatened to put it on a grocery card so I can't spend any on myself.
On what? I don't get squat for myself!!! Hair dye occasionally.
Plus SS = $ 194
His income: $3,594
We've been getting = $550 except this month when I increased it to $650. He got all pissy and said "What am I supposed to live on". Threatened to put it on a grocery card so I can't spend any on myself.
On what? I don't get squat for myself!!! Hair dye occasionally.
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