Kmber2010

So I am posting here a list of why I hated being a drunk. I posted this back during my first attempt at sobriety and it stills rings so true for me that I thought I would share. I firmly believe much of my relapse was attributed to not following through with the support which is needed in recovery. Also thinking that recovery was short term. Oh I have learned my friends....indeed. I don't need to live my life with an "A" on my chest but I must focus daily that I am in recovery and SR helps me do that and is available 24/7 so there is no excuse to say - I don't have time.

All the Best - Kim

Things I hate about being a drunk:

1. Afraid people would show up unannounced and know that I was drunk.
2. Not remembering and afraid to ask what I did or said the day or night before.
3. Constantly spraying perfume, brushing teeth, and gargling so people wouldn't smell the booze on my breath.
4. Thinking that everyone who looked at me knew I had been drinking.
5. Messing up a conversation because my brain was racing on what I was saying to see if I sounded drunk.
6. Constantly bailing on plans and appts because I got too drunk.
7. Fearing people would see me go to the liquor store and if I ran into somebody afraid who they would tell.
8. Worrying that I had to sober up quick because I had to get to the liquor store before they closed.
9. Hating to hear old stories about what I did drunk. Like how I had too much at the company holiday party and couldn't walk straight in the restaurant.
10. Getting into drunken arguments and having people hate me.
11. Caring more about the booze then family, friends, and my own well being.
12. Having jerks in my life use my drinking against me and talk about it and I couldn't say a word because my drunkeness was all the ammo they needed.
13. Being called a liar even when I wasn't because they knew I was drinking. That really hurt!
14. Feeling like a failure because I couldn't get through a day sober.
15. Bashing my husband because he interfered with my drinking.....even if it was to watch a movie together.
16. Gulping and refilling the wine glass so no one would see exactly how many glasses I had.
17. Always wanting to be left alone and alienating people because I wanted to get drunk and didn't want to be judged.....Now that is really sick.
18. Never eating or cooking dinner because I was drinking all day.
19. If I cooked, the food was burned or overdone because I forgot since I was worried about drinking.
20. Reading posts or emails written when I was drunk and feeling humiliated and wanting to crawl under a rock. I hated the fear of even opening the emails or the posts. Oh man...scary days.

Stayinfree

Great post and great reminder!

I could have written all of those, except 19 & 20. But yeh......urgh what a nightmare of a life eh......here's to sobriety!

Dee74

I remembered all those Kim.
Thanks for sharing that

D

Ronan

excellent list, I'm going to bookmark this!

I'm the same except for 13 and 19. 13 because I pretty much never uttered a true word when I was drinking and 19 because I most certainly never bothered cooking I'd order a dominos and eat maybe a slice or two a day over 5 days. Yuck...

Kmber2010

Ronan....I relate to the Dominoes bit. I remember ordering chinese food on a summer day....and passed out on the floor. I had left the front door wide open and when I came too well....he was just staring at me and wouldn't even take my $$$. That was several years ago at the height of depression and drinking while married to my ex. OMG....I was in bad shape.

Hevyn

Hi Kim! Yup, all those - and so much more! I think I'll make a list to refer to. As time goes on, we tend to forget how horrific living that way actually was. Time dims the memory and takes the sting out of it - but we must never forget. Thanks.

least

So nice to know that by quitting drinking we can eliminate all those problems. No more shame and regret.

AmericanGirl

Great list, nuanced things to keep in mind. Thank you.

MyGraySkies

I can relate to every single one of those. Thank you for sharing that!

kyb5

thanks. can relate to lots of those.

artsoul

Oh, yeah.

Rev

I'm amazed that people look down on alcoholics as if it's their choice, when clearly no one would choose to have the life of hiding and shame that Kim's examples describe.

Great post.

Rev