mermaidgirl

I had a long business trip over the past 5 days-and it was difficult. Difficult because months ago, I was hoping my RAH would come with me. So...every night I took a nice hot bath...and last night things really hit me-hard.

I sat there in the hot water and cried my little eyes out. I was angry-because he was supposed to be with me. I was hurt because things just didn't work out-and a week ago at our initial court appearance-the guy couldn't even look at me when asked a question. One week ago, after supporting him and affording him a new chance at life; supporting his loser 3 kids; loving him when I found out he was an active A; cleaned up after all the messes he made-financially...he didn't even look at me when I went over our division of assets and it clearly wasn't to his liking and simply said "what about your retirement"...

But. I keep reminding myself that money is just that. I still get up in the morning and feel good about being in my safe home-with my dogs that love me; surrounded by good supportive friends. The hole and pain in my heart-that will heal, and I finally took care of myself by throwing the abusive loser out. But. It still hurts and when I cry-it's ok...because I am still taking care of myself...