43395

It is now 806 days since when I was alone and so incapacitated that I could only crawl to my bed that my alcoholism was taken from me in what , in light of the fact that no other exdplanation has been forthcoming was a spiritual experience. I have previously written about this on SCR in this forum.

I continue to adhere to my Christian beliefs and Buddhist Principles and try on a dailybasis to make spiritual progress but like everybody else there are good days and bad days, drink never come sin to it.

Buddhist philosophy suggests that our lives pass through three stages, the first being birth, puberty and adolescence, I think I've got that right. The second is when as adults we enter the arena of life, in my case this has involved a ,'rich, full' life involving the service of my country, my community and those who also serve the community. A good part of this whilst I was an alcoholic, I'm sure it will come as no surprise to anyone reading this that a lot of people still have no idea of what was my problem.

The third stage, which in my relatively new found sobriety is when you return to you, the person should be. This is where I need help, please. For the past couple of weeks I have felt the earth turninbg, not in the literal sense. In reality everything remains the same but I have a sense and sometimes almost see the stars shooting across the night sky at alarming speed, night follows day at the same rate. A still voice inside me says," Now is the time Michael, to return to you." Scoff you may but all this is reminiscentof the night I crawled to my bed and cried out to the god of my understanding for release from my suffering, what in Buddhism is the Third Noble Truth, I've done this before albeit last time itwas for a night, this is a sense of growing awareness.

On of my former professions means thatIalways check my scources, a very spiritual man I nevertheless turned to a good astrolger, he backed up my feelings. In May I have to consolidate, meditate and clarity as to my entering and fulfilling the third and final stage, for I am now 63yrs old, still much to come, I hope will , will appear in my life.

I would be grateful for any advice, comment or assistance in understanding all this please.

joinedintime

I'd like to help but I'm not sure I'm following all of what you're saying. In particular, when you say - sometimes almost see the stars shooting across the night sky at alarming speed, night follows day at the same rate - do you mean that night is following day at that same alarming rate?
In other word time is passing very quickly now...much more quickly lately? Is that part of what you're asking about?

43395

Anyone who knows me will say at times I can get,'spooky', the truth is I have a high empathy quotient, most people can put themselves,'in another persons shoes', I can go a lot further than that , which was of great assistance in my professional careers. I will at this stage say, I am not psychic, I cannot walk on water etc.,etc., but there are times and this is one when although all about me is still and daily life continues its repetive sometimes monotonous routine often in front of my eyes for me it is like everything is moving, something is not quite right, things don't fit.

When I had my spiritual experience it was if I was falling into abottomless pit illuminated on all sides by the night sky, I never reached the bottom of the pit, there was a faint thud from somewhere and I was asleep.

At the moment nothing in reality fits, at times like this I almost tend to,'sniff the wind', if I close my eyes then I can see the heavens moving, the night sky flashes by, the day breaks with rolling clouds. All very sudden.

A voiceinside me, call it instinct whatever tells me,' Michael, now is the time to walk into the light, all that was taken from you will be returned."

Life isrequiringme to search for my soul, in order to do this I have to dwell, contemplateand reflect. Possibly meditate. The key is to be true to myself and be patient. There'snot much else I can say, I'm fine and most certainly sober, my heath's good my mind has notbeen asclear as I'd like it, there is a need to be more focused and assertive. I've no problems, everythings okay, but thanks for your interest.

LaVallette

Ok, I've mentioned elswhere I'm a Catholic, but I've studied Buddhism a bit. Zen master Dogen states in his "Shobogenzo Zuimonki", that practice (of Buddhism) is like the way you get wet when you walk through fog. You don't notice it as it's happening. But walk through that fog long enough, and you'll get thoroughly soaked. So do what needs to be done right now. Then do the next. And the next. And the next. Just do things bit by bit until the work is done. But the work is never done is it? It's like being a master violinist; ever practicing, ever learning, improving without end.... Just don't expect it to happen all at once...

Now I'm going to lie down, cos my brain hurts...

(with thanks to Brad Warner and "Sit Down and Shut Up")

43395

Thank you so much for your care and concern, you are right but now, for me is a period of very positive advancement. I posted a thread,'Comfortably numb', taken from a Pink Floyd song. I was of course referring to how I felt at the time, that time has now come to an end.

I have walked through the fog and got soaked with a life full of ,'experiential learning', the time is now approaching for me to walk in the sun, the effect of the soaking I got will remain, the wetness will evaporatewith the sun's rays, in this environment I will know myself and go forward in the last third of my life asober andmuch wiser man, saleh, Michael.

joinedintime

Sounds like you've worked something out via, in part at least, putting into words here. One of the true benefits of SR.

43395

Today and tomorrow, astrologicallymark the end of 2010, all that I wrote about when I first started this thread has now, as I knew a year ago has passed so that after thirty years of suffering the effects and damage in my life caused by alcoholism, albeit I have been sober for two and a half years now, has as I enter the last third of my life ,'the Third Age', passed, the future beckons brightly, the signs supportinmg that statement have come on view or made themselves known to me, all is well, my strength, spirituality and confidence strengthen daily, all is well.