Petewill

Hello guys.. I figured I would just post how I have been feeling as of late. basically, I have 33 days and feel like s.....I have a sponsor and am going to meetings, but it's just not enough. I have been working on my first step too.. I have alot of pressure right now, I have just started school and have been trying to be responsible, but not feeling so good. I have been clean before, like for 18 months and am finally getting back on track after relapsing from september. took this long.. anyway.. I don't know..this should pass.. thanks for reading...

yeahgr8

Within 33 days i was on step 8, preparing for step 9...how come you are still on step 1?

Dee74

Hi petewill

I'm not an AAer, but I figure it took me about 60 days to feel 'ok'/normal....so I reckon you're not out of the bell curve by any means

Pressures always hard to deal with first up without our favorite crutch - but it's a skill we learn...it gets easier.

You'll find a lot of support here too.

Welcome to SR
D

MahiMahi

Hi Petewill,

Welcome to SR

Im sure as you know recovery is a long process. I have not used AA as a part of my recovery but I agree with what Dee said, that you are well within the curve. I really didnt feel any significant improvements for close to 8 weeks or so. I tried everything, diet, supplements, exercise and anything else that I thought might help. As it turns out "TIME" was the thing I couldnt control or make go faster...I am sure what I did helped but it seemed to take forever. Some of the things that helped me the most mentally was doing something for someone in need, exercise and really appreciating everyday that I have on this earth.

Stick with it and before you know it things will start to change and fall into place...and as you said "it will pass".

Hang in there...

Mahi

Toronto68

Pete, what do you mean by crap, is it more physical than emotional, for instance?

When I think of how I felt around 1 month, I guess I was basically fine, but maybe felt half-asleep but more energized emotionally. I was happy about seeing myself not drinking, because I had almost never gone that long before.

OZboy

..i'm on step zero...but with a little help from some friends..

i'll/we will get there..

welcome,petewill....Oz......

yeahgr8

Didn't see it was your first post Petewill, welcome, i should have saved that question for later as was pointed out to me...so...

Ronan

I'm on day 16 and am only becoming accustomed to step 3 right now. If you ask me, step one is the most important step.

The important thing is the knowledge that it will pass. And you're a lot stronger than you're giving yourself credit for - it would be easier for a lot of people to just keep on drinking, quitting is the hard part.

barb dwyer

Hi Pete -

CONGRATULATIONS on your sober time so far!!!!!

Something to think about, however -

if you mean you're feeling badly physically -
I cannot emphasise enough the importance
of going to the doc and getting yourself checked out.

When I got sober was when My physical difficulties
(far too many to name here-it's boring anyway)

came to my attention.

*I* always thought I 'felt bad' because I was always hungover.

Turns out - that wasn't it.

Youi might be experienceing something along the same lines?

Even if your feeling bad is emotional or mental -
a doc can help you evaluate what is going on
(or NOT ... going on)

and suggest something that will help.

I wasn't one who could quit on my own.
I needed a HUGE support circle
because I'd gone so far beyond zebra.

I hope you'll decide to get checked out.

Petewill

Thanks for responses.. No, I have been in the program of NA and have worked the steps before, so i really do need to get going on the steps again. By feeling like crap, I meant emotionally.. I mean a little earlier, all i could think about was using again. It's like I just don't want to go through the pain of staying sober.. very lame, i know. I want the escape and not the loneliness sobriety brings.. I was miserable when I had 18 months last time and working the steps. so, I am a little worried about the results i will have this time around, but we all know what happens eventually when we do use again, it just gets worse.. basically, there is no way out, either way.. just stating how I really feel about it right now.. sucks..

yeahgr8

Stick with it man and bump up the step work, renewed vigour and honesty may be all you need! I didn't get out of the funk until i got to step 9 and started to get some of those, what i thought were before, elusive promises:-)

Have you got a new sponsor?

sobergirl77

I'm only on my 36th day of sobriety and my sponsor is purposely having me go very slowly through the steps this time. (I did 1-4 super fast back in 2008 and it just didn't 'take', I wasn't done, so she is having me do the steps really slowly this time).

Just because you did the steps quick doesn't mean everyone else has to or should. After all, we are supposed to be following our sponsor's 'suggestions'... and staying willing right?

sobergirl77

I'm on day 36 and I still feel crappy too!! I was thinking at 30 days I'd be feeling tons better but I still struggle with energy and emotions. I'm taking vitamins, drinking lots of water and eating mostly healthy but still nowhere near 100%, not even 75%. I guess it's just going to take time. People keep telling me to wait it out, it'll pass. I'm listening to them because they've been through it already.

I hope you feel better soon - hang in there!

Dee74

welcome back sobergirl

D

Anna

Pete,

I'm not sure why you link sobriety and loneliness.

I think that recovery means a lot of change, and I wonder if you've thought about getting out and meeting some new people, getting involved in sports or taking a course.

I hope that you feel better.

four812

my sponsor told me recently to say the serenity prayer 50 times a day. I thought it was the stupidest thing i've ever heard....i did it for 3 weeks and have been clean ever since. I did a lot of other things too of course.

hang in there....even when it don't feel good we are OK, compared to the old days.

Soph

Pete

I am in early sobriety too, and what keeps me going are the people I meet and see at AA meetings. One woman recently said very genuinely "wait for the miracle - because it will happen."

I am holding onto that. I really believe all these people in meetings who have gone through it and come out the other side - and like the BB says "if you want what we have" - I keep reminding myself, yes, I do. I do want what they have.

Big congrats on 33 days! Keep up the great work!

Bamboozle

Hang on, Pete.

It took awhile for things to get better for me in regards to the not drinking thing (depression is another story ).

Maybe by 2-3 months I was feeling somewhat better...and after about 4 months my bowels began to improve. I'm not sure if you meant sh!t literally...but...yeah.

This is a good place to hang around when you need the support. If you feel like you are alone or really anxious keep involved here. Take it easy.

Petewill

I really appreciate all of the great support... I just have alot of pressure on top of being sober, just started school and getting sober this past month. School is no walk in the park, as it is something technical. it's getting hard already, stress on top of stress.. !!!! so.. I also have been taking anti-depressants a little over 2 years, cannot really tell if they're working anymore, since i have been drinking for the last 6 months. When i was clean before, I had alot of issues making friends in the rooms because I am pretty quiet. it's been very difficult in the past. Now, at this moment, I feel trapped behind layer upon layer of bad emotions and thoughts. I feel the only was to stop thinking so much and having the pity party is to drink.. but, I know it will do nothing.. I wish I could explain this better..

Toronto68

Alcohol will destroy the effect of the antidepressants, it's like a negative number times a positive one equalling negative. Pete, the things you are confronting about your personality are prime "candidates" for making a substance a solution, and that was on my path of addiction too. You will only create more trouble through the alcohol. I think you should go back and ask the doctor (or a different one) whether you should really be on the antidepressants. Sometimes I think doctors whip out pharmaceutical products with too much ease and allow the pill-taking to be the solution rather than being on top of what is really happening in a person (including the drinking). Untrap yourself. You are on to something.