Redheadsusie

I guess I am going through the emotions. Today it was anger ..all day..it started last night when a neighbor told me word around was I was a B&$%)H! Apparently all the men around are calling me that. I was wondering why nobody was talking to me much when I go walking or bike riding. It really hit me the wrong way. I know I should not care ..but here I am trying to protect myself and my sons and I am the B? Of course these are men who said this who have drinking issues of their own and they absolutely bully their wives so consider the source, right? However - I texted Ah about it and said I would appreciate him not trying to rally the whole neighborhood against me . I live here ... I am the neighborhood realtor... My business is here. He of course denies it and said he tells everone he loves me and yada yada yada. I am so pissed that he is playing the victim here. Poor AH- the mean wife kicked me out of my own house ...Now I have to live with my parents and they pay all my bills and cook and clean for me. What a mean woman. God I am so mad I could puke. I let it ruin my day which even has me madder. I have been snippy and pissy all day. Enough is Enough. Get over it- This too shall pass.

Serenebynow

Me too! I phoned a friend who is/has been depressed for a year and told her that we can work on anger. I've had therapy in which I've had to break things. Throwing plates etc. It was a big mess. Now I know to use a paint drop cloth or something to make cleanup easier.

I realized that my anger is mine and caused by my reactive nature. I still would rather express it, rather than internalize it and let it build till I explode, or go crazy ( depression) . My friend can't get angry, she was raised in violence, and anger in her family might get you killed or shot.

I can't tell you or her what to do. I'm sorry she's depressed, I'm sorry you are angry too! I'm a little embarrased to admit this. But I am pissed! I'm going to walk it off! My dogs oughta be grateful that I have this tool! They are probably the only ones to benefit from my character defect, resentment.

LaTeeDa

I love it! I journaled to release my anger, but I like your way better! Nothing wrong with being angry. It helps us figure out what is unacceptable.

L

barb dwyer

I'm a fan of 'anger cleaning.'
I could turn it into a business - LMAO
You know how angry/scared I am by the brightness of the sparkle of my house.
And when I run out of things to clean
I'm known to come to YOUR house and clean as well.

The other advantage I had was horses and the rural life I led.

I could go clean stalls, chop wood, stack hay
(Or even RE-stack hay)
just to get the anger out.
it felt like a huge red ball bouncing around inside
and the more I chopped,
the more pieces chipped off
and came out.

And my horses and the bar I ran

was always IMMACULATE.

One thing RHS,
I noticed that might help -
when we're fuming thinking about other people buying into
the big dramatic scenario he's concocting for the public.....

The minute we think about
how they're getting away with the lies....

we're not standing inside ourselves any more.

For me-
When I'm standing in my own circle looking out
I don't doubt for a millisecond that I've done the right thing
and that anyone standing in my shoes would say the same thing.

But when I start imagining things
like imagining how a bystander might interpret the farce he's playing out
how could that possibly affect my business/reputation etc....

I have to move out of my circle to do that.

I hope that helps.

Redheadsusie

Thank you ladies. Especially Barb You are right. I have stepped away from circle. Who cares what they are thinking. I need to worry about how I am feeling and what I am thinking. I am productive too when I am angry - I worked in the yard - cleaned- played with the pups! I have to worry about me and how I feel and how I am going to heal. Thank you so much for your insight- It has helped me tremendously!

Jazzman

You get that Wave Runner yet? I never stayed bummed out for long when I had mine

Redheadsusie

Looking at 2 this week. Yamaha and See Doo. Any thoughts?

Jazzman

See Doo started as a Bombardier snow mobile engine refitted for a marine application. When I had my 760 Wave Raider I was blowing Sea Doos and Tiger Sharks out of the water with larger engines! Plus Sea Doos have a really funky storage compartment designs that lets tons of water leak into the engine compartment. You don't see that on Yamahas. Most life guard rescue teams and rentals use Yamaha for their reliability.

You're gonna have a hard time talking me into anything other than a Yamaha.