Toomutch

As many of you know I lost my Grandmother and Father In Law within 6 days of each other in January.
Now my brother only 47 is on life support and has been for a week after surgury gone bad. This will be the first day I haven't visited him since he became ill.
Each day when I am driving home I want to stop for a small bottle of vodka or maybe a shot at a bar. Nobody would ever know.
My brother is a VERY sick man as well as one of my best friends. We are two years apart and were always very close.
I have found myself sneaking an extra pain pill here and there, but what I really feel I need is to be numbed out atleast when I'm not at the hospital or around my family.

CAPTAINZING2000

(((hugs)))

Can you talk to your pastor about what you're going through for some added faith?
Much as it hurts you know your grand parents are in a better place now

Almath

I'm so sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Grandmother and Father in law...and now to have this terrible hardship on top of it.. I will keep you and your poor Brother in my thoughts and prayers.. please God he will go from strength to strength and get through this.

I know that you must be going through a very difficult time and indeed it would be so easy to slip.. But you have been doing so well for so long and you have to be strong for your Brother and most importantly for you.

Do you have close friends to talk to about this? Or as Captainizing2000 said above you could talk with your Pastor/Priest?

I will pray that you get the necessary strength, courage and hope to get through this and send you big hugs. :ghug3

I have never been let down - and get a lot of strength from - the Divine Mercy Chaplet (Sr Faustina) and pray it when times are difficult - you can get some info. about it on this website: The Divine Mercy Message from the Marians of the Immaculate Conception

Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Almath

Surlyredhead

I wish I was closer so I could give you this hug in person, I am so sorry you are in pain. Please don't drink, it will only make things so much worse. You can only be there for your Brother and family if you are sober, think about how you might feel if he were to ask for you, and you were not able to be there for him. I know that when my own Father died two months ago, one of the only things that made me feel better is knowing I was sober and able to be there for him and my Mom...hold on...

suki44883

S...you already know this, but I'll say it anyway. There is nothing so bad that alcohol won't make worse. Hang in there.

Horselover

S I am so sorry you are enduring all of this, but please, please don't step backwards. Move forward and feel your way through this. As Almath said, prayer could be a great strength for you right now and reaching out here. You know you have tons of love here on SR. So very sorry and even more sorry I can't reach through the computer and hug you. You are in my thoughts and most certainly in my prayers. Love, Sarah

least

I have to agree with Suki: drinking would only make your situation worse. I'm sorry you have to go thru this pain and sorrow. Please hang on to your sobriety. I will keep you in my prayers. :ghug3

Rev

If you let yourself drink, you will only feel one more reason for terrible grief.

I wish I could express something that would make this easier for you. You've obviously taken a beating over the last several months. Be kind and forgiving of yourself, and stay close to those who love you, and care about how you're feeling. I guess that's the best I can say.

Rev

flutter

Suz, I'm sending all my good thoughts your way. You've been through a LOT and stayed very strong, admirably so. You can do this.. Healing thoughts for your brother, courage to you.

Dee74

I'm sorry for the added tragedy S.

It's great advice you're being given here.

There's no reason good enough you should harm yourself by drinking, or taking too many pain pills. Please take care.

Prayers for you and your family at this time.
D

Mattcake

Suz.. sorry to hear you're struggling so much. Have faith in yourself, you know that alcohol will only make matters worse, and that you can handle this situation without it.

Reach out a lot - you and your family are in my thoughts.

Jomey

Hey Suz - Prayers for you & your family - God will get you thru this - trust Him - and, please, no matter how bleak things seem - no drinking and no excess pills, please! Love, Jomey

Impurrfect

((((Suz))) -awww, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

You've gotten some good advice here. You know that drinking is only a temporary fix and will cause you SOOOO many problems in the long run, and only prolong the problems you're trying to numb away.

Oh, and you're wrong as far as "no one would know". YOU would know, and you've worked too hard to get to where you are. Don't think that you can just drink, and it's not going to affect you as far as guilt/shame/grief, etc.

Grab support from wherever you can get it. This is your brother, but it's also your kids's uncle and they need they're mama sober.

I'm so sorry for all you've been through, and am saying many extra prayers for you and your family.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

RobbyRobot

So sorry for your losses, Suz. You're a brave woman and a good person, a great mom too, a real and loving family person. None of us are strong enough to face such things alone. Have courage. Keep reaching out like you are. You've already overcome so much even now. Good advice from so many here. Prayers for you and yours.

susanlauren

Suz,
I am so sorry for your recent losses and for the difficulties you are now going through. I lost my mother a few years ago and I drown my grief with alcohol. It didn't help. Not only did the alcohol not allow me to cope, it made my grief worse, and it added another set of problems (e.g., depression, anxiety, insomnia, guilt, etc.). I am now two years sober in AA, and I worked with a therapist to deal with my grief/loss. I would encourage you to seek support in your faith, a therapist, AA or other recovery group, etc. You don't have to go through this alone, and you don't have to drink/use.
SusanLauren

Anna

Hi Suzette,

Hugs for you and prayers for you and your family.

coffeenut

Hang on to that thread...and hang on tight. Drinking is not going to make this better. Your brother needs all of you right now.

Toomutch

My brother is still on life support in a drug induced coma. I visit almost everyday and it is heart wrenching. I still haven't drank, but it has triggered some bipolar mixed mania. Please pray for my brother, even if you have prayer lists at your churches. People have been great, our pastors wife brought food the othe day and a friend is bringing food tonight. I have received so many phone calls and visits, I am truly greatfull.

Dee74

I'm glad you're getting some support Suzette....and I'm glad you're still sober.
Please continue to take care of yourself.

My continued prayers go out for you and your family.
D

artsoul

It's so great that you came here when you really wanted to drink. You should pat yourself on the back for that.

I second what everyone's said. I think Susan made a good point about how alcohol just adds more depression and anxiety into the equation. I don't like to cry, but I think I'm going to have to learn to do it again real soon so that I can feel my feelings as they come up. I hope you will find something to treat yourself to, to relief stress or just to take your mind off of things for a short period of time. ANYthing but drink.

(just a P.S. - I found that reading Embraced By the Light really helped me with the issue of death a few years back.)