Trying2Fly

I'm feeling stressed, sad, and angry tonight. Alcoholic sister is drinking again; left a very drunk msg on my cell. She's on disability and living in a "sober living" house. But, given the fact that she's obviously drinking again, I wonder how long that will last. My parents are continuing to give her $ (including a credit card), and justifying their actions by saying "how hard life is for a single woman", and that "she's really trying this time".
I think I'm ready to cut her out of my life for good at this point. I think I'm accepting that she's never going to change. I resent that she's manipulating my parents, and I resent that my relationship with them is overshadowed by her constant problems.

Had to rant. I'm going to bed now, if I can sleep.

ChildrenB4AW

Your parents are doing what they feel is best. It is absolutely enabling behavior, but they are lost in your sister's addiction. Your desire to "..cut her out of your life" is understandable, but probably more related to the grip that her disease has on your parents which prevents them from being there for you. Lovingly detaching from your sister is a way to protect your boundaries. None of us know what the future holds, but your sister may one day find recovery. You cannot make that happen for her, but you are responsible for your own recovery. I would recommend that you try Alanon. Through this program, you can begin the steps to your own recovery. You are blessed that you don't have your sister's illness. Through alanon, you can learn to have compassion, set boundaries, and not enable your sister's behavior. Your parents might also see the change in you, and want to participate.

Good luck - it is a long, and winding road to recovery.

SizzleChest

Hi, i feel you on the famliy thing. Nothing is more frustrating than trying to deal with a hardcore alchoholic in the family. We just had a big problem where we didnt hear from our Mom for several weeks - all of the family lives far apart from her, so, we had no idea if she was dead or alive. She finally came around (after alerting everybody under the sun that she was MIA) and is drying out now. What can we do, but try and get support for ourselves. I agree that your parents behaviour is enabling, which makes it all the more frustrating. Good luck

coffeedrinker

a lot of families have someone who is underfunctioning. they may, or may not be, an alcoholic, but the parents seem to have always given more to that child. the parents think they are helping, and the other children feel slighted. you may feel like "why don't they give ____ and ____ to me? i'm the 'good' one!" but by them not doling out "help" and other forms of "love", they are actually paying you the compliment. you are strong, self-sufficient, and how does this show their feelings toward your sister? they pity her, they don't believe in her, and he ability to take care of herself. it's sad, really, they are telling her that they think she is too weak, and they get their own payoff in this unhealthy, unbalanced relationship.