celticghirl

Right my exabf have been split up now for nearlt six weeks,he was in court yesterday for the constant damage he caused to my mothers house where i live and i attended with my mum and sis,he was absolutely legless and he is now on fb discussing his imagined sex life.Anyway i cant help but let it bother me even though i know its a croc of s**te,i am on facebook and im sure he has blocked me as i cant search for him on my fb page,i know i shouldnt even be looking but i cant help it.It hurts me that he doesnt feel sorry for anything he has done to me,i dont know what i expect from him but its hurting all the same.How can i break free from this obsession to check his page and know what he is up to even though i know exactly what he is up to (drinking).He has said some nasty things about me on another site he goes on,but yet he was on ***** answers when he was sober saying how he cant bear to be without me.God i know im going on but this is getting to me now i feel so hurt and rejected by someone i dont even want as a bf but sadly enough i still want him to want me and feel bad for what he has done. help!!

Still Waters

Expecting sane behavior out of him...isn't sane. Just sayin'.

Kittyboo

i feel so hurt and rejected by someone i dont even want as a bf

My X blocked me too... it's a BLESSING. It hurts, but it's a blessing.

I wrote a thread a few days ago called "Fighting against Rejection"...basically I said much of what you said!
A LOT of people said some really great things on it. In fact I just read through it last night again and it brought me a sense of calm again. Maybe go take a look, and it will bring you some comfort.
We ALL feel it.

HUGS.

Carol Star

I got to the point- and it took some time- to where I knew it would hurt me to be in contact with him- why let him live in my head rent free? I realized I missed the "potential" of him, not who he was. He wasasick person with a disease/sickness/obsession or whatever, that he chose above our relationship. Some of the things he did were bad. That made him a jerk. My self- esteem was so bad I didn't see he was bad for me. I got alot out of the Eckhart Tolle book....A New Earth. Stay in the moment. I am fine in this moment. The past is OVER. I am grateful for the lessons .I now am aware I am codependent and I need to address that. He was my drug. Now I am clean!

tpen

Celticghirl - I haven't looked at myspace since Monday and feel the same. I know how you feel though. I wasn't getting any better emotionally or health wise by looking at her online updates. Thus, I'm trying to let go and let God and hope that changes things for me. So far.............it hasn't, but it's only been 4 days.

You need to get out of his forest first off. It will enable you to see things more clearly. It may not heal the pain though, so remember that. I think you just have to let each day go by.

Someone said this and it makes perfect sense. Imagine wanting to look at his FB page, then stopping yourself, or giving in. That is exactly what type of struggle they face with alchohol. The only difference is with them, they get relief 100% of the time after taking a drink. Us? The opposite, instant hurt 75% of the time. So, why would you want to do that to yourself?

It's not easy. This addiction of theirs is transferred to us somehow. I don't get it. Keep posting - that's for sure.