Progress with Codie Behavior!!!!
work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Progress with Codie Behavior!!!! Yay!!! I have to share this with my SR family.....
Since XAH has been gone, my house decided to fall apart....
So I have had contractors in and out of my house over the last few months.
I am having a built in shelving unit added to my very tiny bathroom....and when I came home last night I noticed they made it out of particle board. Well I hated that. It's a 50's bathroom, and I am going through great lengths to make everything look like it's been there for years, but in a new way.
I thought it was to made out of wood, as I discussed with the GC.
When I asked the contractors about it this morning, he went on some big tangent about how that is the way most people do it.
So I backed down (codie alert)....and said, "well, okay then."
Then I remembered "Wait, I am a paying customer and I should be able to get what I want without worrying whether I was gonna hurt somebody's feelings or make them mad."
So I paced and paced, started to revert to my passive aggressive self by getting quiet and stewing....it was really bothering me that he wasn't open to listening to me as the customer. And then I had to stop myself. I realized that I was being my usual codependent self.
And then....it happened. I knew I needed to speak up...after all this is the part of changing myself I needed to work on. I was forthright and said....
"I have to be honest, I really am not happy with this and would like for it to be made out of wood. What do we need to do to make that happen?" He didn't look happy, but that is not my problem. His mood is his problem, not mine. He tried to convince me that it would be more expensive, but when your spending thousands of dollars on a bathroom rehab, what's another $120 bucks? I mean really.
So "Yay, Me!!" That would have never played out like that before. I would have just gotten quiet, stayed mad, and figured out a way to change it after they were gone, which would have cost me more $$....all for the sake of not wanting to make them mad. I had to remember, this is about Me.
I am really happy that I am learning to apply what I have learned to life in general...not just when dealing with an "A".
Thanks for reading....I just got so excited I needed to share.
Have a good day all!
Since XAH has been gone, my house decided to fall apart....
So I have had contractors in and out of my house over the last few months.
I am having a built in shelving unit added to my very tiny bathroom....and when I came home last night I noticed they made it out of particle board. Well I hated that. It's a 50's bathroom, and I am going through great lengths to make everything look like it's been there for years, but in a new way.
I thought it was to made out of wood, as I discussed with the GC.
When I asked the contractors about it this morning, he went on some big tangent about how that is the way most people do it.
So I backed down (codie alert)....and said, "well, okay then."
Then I remembered "Wait, I am a paying customer and I should be able to get what I want without worrying whether I was gonna hurt somebody's feelings or make them mad."
So I paced and paced, started to revert to my passive aggressive self by getting quiet and stewing....it was really bothering me that he wasn't open to listening to me as the customer. And then I had to stop myself. I realized that I was being my usual codependent self.
And then....it happened. I knew I needed to speak up...after all this is the part of changing myself I needed to work on. I was forthright and said....
"I have to be honest, I really am not happy with this and would like for it to be made out of wood. What do we need to do to make that happen?" He didn't look happy, but that is not my problem. His mood is his problem, not mine. He tried to convince me that it would be more expensive, but when your spending thousands of dollars on a bathroom rehab, what's another $120 bucks? I mean really.
So "Yay, Me!!" That would have never played out like that before. I would have just gotten quiet, stayed mad, and figured out a way to change it after they were gone, which would have cost me more $$....all for the sake of not wanting to make them mad. I had to remember, this is about Me.
I am really happy that I am learning to apply what I have learned to life in general...not just when dealing with an "A".
Thanks for reading....I just got so excited I needed to share.
Have a good day all!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Isn`t it wonderful how our recovery works in all areas of our lives.
Like you, I used to settle for less rather than ever annoy anyone, regardless of how valid my request.
Me too!! 
Like you, I used to settle for less rather than ever annoy anyone, regardless of how valid my request.
Originally Posted by anvilhead
i LOVE those "wait a second, that ain't right!!!" moments!!!
work in progress
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Thanks everybody!!!! It feels great.....and I am happy to report, the built in was installed today and it is indeed made out of wood. It is a thing of beauty!!!!
Hey...I guess this program works after all!!!
Hey...I guess this program works after all!!!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
